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Diamond [Thanks for my 1st Pop Reel!]

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Tooper_Man's Avatar Tooper_Man
Level 28 : Expert Mage
20
Before I start, I'd like to thank you guys for my first Pop Reel! (Sure hope it isn't the last :D)

Hello guys! This is my poem. It kinda ends... A little over dramatic, but I think it's the book I just finished, it's ending was pretty much the main character dead. *Shrugs* Don't forget to leave a diamond if you liked!



Diamond



Craft your pick,

You're ready to mine.

Wander into the cave,

Heedless of the sign.



After wandering for hours,

You've only found coal.

Then you take 5 steps,

And fall in a deep deep hole.



You're getting hungry,

And you crave for a meal.

A creeper sneaks up and explodes,

You cave yourself in as you wait to heal.



The deeper you go,

The more you go insane.

But it eases a little,

As you hear thunder and rain.



You hear a moan from behind,

And you run in total fright.

Then you spot something ahead,

Coming from lava is light.



As you enter the end of the gloom,

You see many ores hanging from the ceiling.

You see coal, iron, lapis, gold and redstone,

That's when you start to have a good feeling.



Although you've never seen so many colors/colours.

It is still missing light blue.

As you notice you can't just swim in lava,

You get an idea of what to do.



You jump from stone to stone,

As you approach the end of the pool.

You see a diamond back where you came from,

Seeing this, you realize you're such a fool.



You jump again and again,

And then you notice a zombie waiting for a duel.

You quickly fight and kill it.

And finally,

You are one jump from reaching the blue ore.

But your sprint doesn't work and you fall straight into the pool.

You appear back at your camp,

And From there you climb up a mountain to face your last dawn.

Then you jump off,

To never respawn.
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1
01/08/2014 3:51 pm
Level 25 : Expert Miner
TrustworthyInspector
TrustworthyInspector's Avatar
Nice rhyming, and I love the picture - did u copy it?
1
01/08/2014 5:01 pm
Level 28 : Expert Mage
Tooper_Man
Tooper_Man's Avatar
It is from google, copied and pasted it. Thanks for feedback!
1
01/09/2014 2:47 am
Level 25 : Expert Miner
TrustworthyInspector
TrustworthyInspector's Avatar
2 u 2 ;D
1
01/07/2014 1:17 am
Level 31 : Artisan Archer
Ravaen
Ravaen's Avatar
i am a poet myselfr and my mother is swedens best rhymer and i enjoyed reading this, make another one and a good tip is to do something my mom taught me: instead of just choicing rhyming words, change the other words so the ymatch the rhythem you are rhyming with, maybe long or short verses or fast and slow,
your choice!
1
01/07/2014 8:23 am
Level 28 : Expert Mage
Tooper_Man
Tooper_Man's Avatar
Thanks man!
1
01/06/2014 10:58 pm
Level 40 : Master Kitten
BubblesAndSuch
BubblesAndSuch's Avatar
Very good! My suggestions:
-Experiment with using words that are large and vibrant. Bigger words not only make you look smarter but they also express more precise feelings.
-Be creative with the rhyming structure. Some examples:

a
b
a
b

or

b
a
a
b
1
01/07/2014 8:22 am
Level 28 : Expert Mage
Tooper_Man
Tooper_Man's Avatar
Thanks for the feedback! I will use It on my next poem!
1
01/06/2014 11:57 am
Level 52 : Grandmaster Steve
Sunblademaster
Sunblademaster's Avatar
Yeah!
Harcore mode...
You need diamonds to prepare the fight with a Dragon...
But when you go deeper and deeper, the cave will be more and more dangerous.

I always like to play in harcore mode, and when i die my death is alwais weird:
-A skeleton shot me when i try to go over a chasm. (into a lava pool of course)
-At the nether a wither skeleton jumped behind me and tossed to depth..
-SsssSSss..."P:what?"...boom!..."P:Uh that was close..."...SsssSSSss.."P:?"...Boom!.."P:Where he come from? I almost died!"....BOOOM!
1
01/06/2014 6:40 pm
Level 28 : Expert Mage
Tooper_Man
Tooper_Man's Avatar
If only you had screenshots or videos of that! Anyways, thanks for the feedback! Good luck surviving in your world!
1
01/06/2014 10:39 am
Level 33 : Artisan Architect
BaneSavage
BaneSavage's Avatar
That was actually not written very well and kinda sucked :/
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