NOTE TO ADMINS: This is a parody article, and not an actual submission to the contest. Do not take this seriously.

Thunder hit the ground hard outside. The cat was running around like the world was ending. It was 3 in the morning, I had no clue what I was even doing up! Then it hit me: I need to spend my life for the good. I need to make a change in society, contribute the life I was given to help others in need, make the world a better place. I was going to use my life for the good, and not waste any time with any useless dumb ga-ooh, Minecraft! That seems pretty fun, let's try that out!

And so I spawned in that blocky world we all know and love. I didn't know what to do, where to go. Everything seemed so horrible, it seemed like such a ripoff of a perfectly fine $20 dollars I could've spent on a bowtie. I was just about to uninstall the entire game and delete my account, when all of a sudden, I saw it. The one and only. Very few ever see it, due to how rare it is to find. The shininess really made me feel this game was worth it. Sparkling light blue ore, the most valuable resource it the entire game, you guys guessed it, it was the...

DEAD BUSH! Oh how I love these magnificent things! Just roaming in the desert, a beautiful dead bush. No, 2 beautiful dead bushes! No, they were EVERYWHERE! So happy was I that I discovered this amazing world, of bushes that happen to not be alive.

Their beautiful blue color reminded me of diamond. I think they were blue, at least. I don't know, I'm colorblind. But the point is the dead bushes were beautiful. But then a thought hit me. That's just the dead bush inside a 16-bit 3D game! Who knows how magnificent dead bushes look in real life! So, it was there, at 3 o clock in the morning, that I wandered off, looking for a desert, any desert. Who knows, I might end up in Egypt! As long as I get to see a real dead bush.

I swam thousands of miles, I jogged across entire continents, until I found it. A beautiful desert. But, something was missing from it. Everything seemed healthy and well. I found nothing that reminded me of being dead. The dead bushes. There were none. The people here must have taken really good care of their bushes. But I came for dead bushes, and I was gonna get dead bushes.

Good thing I brought my nifty chainsaw! I tore down every single dang plant I could see. The entire desert looked stranded by the time I was done. I then started going AT those plants. I was going to kill one of them, I was going to see one of them dead. I may have been going insane, I may have been crazy. There's no knowing. But as much as I tried, none of the plants seemed dead.

All of this time, all for nothing. No. I wasn't going to stop here. I burst into any house I could find, with one simple command: give me that dead bush. None of them had them, so I tore down the entire civilization. Nothing was left, and ALL OF IT WAS WORTH I-

huh? I suddenly awoke from my bed. Good thing this was all a dream. Let's check what's been trending online. Just the usual, nothing too new-ooh, Minecraft! That seems pretty fun, let's try that out!

~end~

Moral of the Story: Eat your dead bushes.