Planet Minecraft

Okay, I made a short(ish) poem!

Spoiler

Moonshine:
Moonshine lives in my heart,
The very begining of a pleasant start.
I will walk the race, but still win;
As long as I have moonshine in my lane-so-thin.
Moonshine leaves my heart every night,
But it protects me from all evil in sight.
Moonshine is my life, my hope, my love.
Moonshine flies in, Moonshine is a dove.

Please leave feedback and/or constructive critisisim. If you have nothing nice to say, DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

Im glad I got featured

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heres both of them, took a while to type...
first one...VVV
http://www.planetminecraft.com/blog/fir ... /#comments
second one...VVV
http://www.planetminecraft.com/blog/sec ... r-written/

Wow, I really like your poems. It's all about teenage love and first experiencing that warmth you get in your heart when you're thinking about someone special. Your form and structuring is good, just watch for little grammar mistakes. Overall, for your first pieces, they're very good, keep writing Kenworld1!

~ Seska

Thankyou for actualy giving me feedback thats longer than three words, and did you like either better than the other? I liked the second one the best. Well thanks again for the good feedback, stalk you later... Cheerio...

^^^Kenny^^^

*pokes the thread*

Any PMC writers on?

I'm on. Now, for a story. You dun mind if I post a FAQ/interveiw about the story and the main charecter?

[Seska Rotan]

Thankyou for actualy giving me feedback thats longer than three words, and did you like either better than the other? I liked the second one the best. Well thanks again for the good feedback, stalk you later... Cheerio...

^^^Kenny^^^

Aha, it's fine, I want to help writers develop their work, and saying something like 'lol its okay' as feedback doesn't help anyone. Yeah, the second one is a better, not by a lot, but the increase in length is good.

~ Seska

[Seska Rotan]

Okay, I made a short(ish) poem!

Spoiler

Moonshine:
Moonshine lives in my heart,
The very begining of a pleasant start.
I will walk the race, but still win;
As long as I have moonshine in my lane-so-thin.
Moonshine leaves my heart every night,
But it protects me from all evil in sight.
Moonshine is my life, my hope, my love.
Moonshine flies in, Moonshine is a dove.

Please leave feedback and/or constructive critisisim. If you have nothing nice to say, DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

I like the theme, but it seems a bit like you're restricted by the need to make the lines rhyme. Don't worry too much about rhyming, not all poems do. Good work though.

~ Seska

Okay, I made a short(ish) poem!

Spoiler

Moonshine:
Moonshine lives in my heart,
The very begining of a pleasant start.
I will walk the race, but still win;
As long as I have moonshine in my lane-so-thin.
Moonshine leaves my heart every night,
But it protects me from all evil in sight.
Moonshine is my life, my hope, my love.
Moonshine flies in, Moonshine is a dove.

Please leave feedback and/or constructive critisisim. If you have nothing nice to say, DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

I like the theme, but it seems a bit like you're restricted by the need to make the lines rhyme. Don't worry too much about rhyming, not all poems do. Good work though.

~ Seska

Thank you, I really was stuck on the rhymes. c:

Thankyou for actualy giving me feedback thats longer than three words, and did you like either better than the other? I liked the second one the best. Well thanks again for the good feedback, stalk you later... Cheerio...

^^^Kenny^^^

Aha, it's fine, I want to help writers develop their work, and saying something like 'lol its okay' as feedback doesn't help anyone. Yeah, the second one is a better, not by a lot, but the increase in length is good.

~ Seska

Ya I'm not that much of a writer, but when I write anything, I try to write it as well as possible.

^^^Kenny^^^

Thankyou for actualy giving me feedback thats longer than three words, and did you like either better than the other? I liked the second one the best. Well thanks again for the good feedback, stalk you later... Cheerio...

^^^Kenny^^^

Aha, it's fine, I want to help writers develop their work, and saying something like 'lol its okay' as feedback doesn't help anyone. Yeah, the second one is a better, not by a lot, but the increase in length is good.

~ Seska

You truly are the best for feedback. At least that i know of. You wrote like 2 paragraphs on how i could improve on the war writing test of skill i wrote

[Seska Rotan]

Thank you, I really was stuck on the rhymes. c:

Exactly. It can be very difficult, and you can end up straying from your theme or hitting a mental block because you've spent too long trying to make each line rhyme with the next. There are sites on the Web that can help you find words that rhyme, for example, try http://www.rhymes.net/, that will help, but don't let that hold you back, and don't just choose random rhyming words, because if they aren't related to the rest of your piece, your work can end up not making sense, and you don't want that.

Ya I'm not that much of a writer, but when I write anything, I try to write it as well as possible.
^^^Kenny^^^

That's good. Nobody is born as a great writer. Some have natural talent, but most will have to work a hell of a lot to get better, and you have a good attitude and take pride in your work, which is why I think you'll go far with writing if you choose to stick with it. So don't give up on it.

You truly are the best for feedback. At least that i know of. You wrote like 2 paragraphs on how i could improve on the war writing test of skill i wrote

Thanks a lot ShanePurePickaxe2, I never received really good feedback when I first started off writing, so I try to make up for that by helping other writers get the help they deserve. A lot of people are selfish to be honest, but my way of thinking is: If I have some helpful knowledge and skills, why not help others get the same.

Yeah, sharing is caring, haha.

~ Seska

That's good. Nobody is born as a great writer. Some have natural talent, but most will have to work a hell of a lot to get better, and you have a good attitude and take pride in your work, which is why I think you'll go far with writing if you choose to stick with it. So don't give up on it.

~ Seska

Well thats what my teacher(s) say to me, or at least last year's did, this years teacher hasent really read anything that i have ever written, or will write. But if they are the same, she will. (Sorry if i didn't choose the best of words,i tiredz!), ByeByeZ

^^^Kenny^^^