Read these like a pirate, or I'll have ye walk the plank.
Where is a pirate from?
Click to reveal
Arrkansas
Where does a pirate vacation?
Click to reveal
Arrrgentina
What is a pirate's favorite type of sock?
Click to reveal
Arrrgyle
Arre ye shore you want to carry on?
How does a pirate get to work?
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A Carr
Where does a pirate go to drown his sorrows?
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A Barr
What does a rich pirate smoke?
Click to reveal
A Cigarr
What is the relative distance a pirate can throw?
Click to reveal
Really farr
What instrument does a pirate play?
Click to reveal
A Guitarr
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Why did the pirate need a wooden leg after the parrty?
What do you do after the hook-handed pirate finishes a performance?
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Because he cut footloose.
What do you do after the hook-handed pirate finishes a performance?
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You give them a hand.
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Why do pirates play Minecraft?
And now, random assorted jokes I got in a email a while ago. I left the inappropriate ones out. Here they are:
As a child, I was made to walk the plank. Why?
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
What is a pirate's least favourite vegetable?
Why is pirating addictive?
What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
Story type jokes below:
Click to reveal
Because it's free. :lol:
(If you don't get this, think about what I said again)
(If you don't get this, think about what I said again)
And now, random assorted jokes I got in a email a while ago. I left the inappropriate ones out. Here they are:
As a child, I was made to walk the plank. Why?
Click to reveal
We couldn't afford a dog.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Click to reveal
Because they can spend years at C!
What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?
Click to reveal
Shiver me timbers!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Click to reveal
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!
What is a pirate's least favourite vegetable?
Click to reveal
Leeks!
Why is pirating addictive?
Click to reveal
They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
Click to reveal
Rookie!
Story type jokes below:
Click to reveal
One day, a pirate walked into a bar, with a towel wrapped around his head. The bartender asked why he had done so. The pirate replied it was because he had a bounty on his head.
Click to reveal
On a pirate ship in high seas, the First Mate was on lookout for hazards from the crow's nest. Suddenly, the ship was broadsided by a rogue wave, tossing the Mate from the nest! He crashed through the upper deck and landed square into the Captain's quarters. The Captain, surprised, says "Matey, ye be hurt!?". "Narrrr Cap'n," replied the First Mate, "I've been through hardships before!"
Click to reveal
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!" "What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine." The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really." "Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really." "Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes." "Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye." "So?" replied the bartender, "What happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!" "Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really." "Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes." "Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye." "So?" replied the bartender, "What happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!" "Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
Click to reveal
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to their Captain for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!
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These puns are so awful...しね.
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why couldn't the kid go to the rated R movie?
it was rated Arrrrrr.
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I put it in there for the OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH at the end.
it was rated Arrrrrr.
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I put it in there for the OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH at the end.
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(This reply is just so that I can find this thread later)
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How many letters are there in the pirate alphabet?
Click to reveal
9. Aye, Arr, and the 7 seas
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....Sea, it works better when you say it out loud
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What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Click to reveal
You might think it be R, but his true love be the C!
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i thought he meant C as in ctrl+c, like copyright piracy... i guess not?
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...lol
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