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You heard me.
What was the worst joke you ever heard? (this includes puns as well)
when you tell the joke at the end put this:
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
What was the worst joke you ever heard? (this includes puns as well)
when you tell the joke at the end put this:
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
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I've heard some pretty dirty jokes. But what isn't a joke. One of my friends decided to try to "demonstrate" ... certain things ... (you educated people should know what I mean) with a Cuprisun straw at lunch, right in front of one of the girls.
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how old are you?
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The stupidest ones I've heard probably wouldn't be appropriate, so I'll just say this:
Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off?
He's all right now.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off?
He's all right now.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
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Surprised no ones done this one:
What did the beaver say to the tree?
It's been nice gnawing you!
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) EYYYYYYYYY
What did the beaver say to the tree?
It's been nice gnawing you!
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) EYYYYYYYYY
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u wot m8
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worst jokes as in dark humor/antijokes or just not funny jokes?
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Joke 1 :
Knock Knock
Who's There?
(First Name Here)
(First Name Here) who?
(Full Name Here)
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
Joke 2:
What's green with yellow wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels!
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
Knock Knock
Who's There?
(First Name Here)
(First Name Here) who?
(Full Name Here)
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
Joke 2:
What's green with yellow wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels!
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
1
inb4 ban
What's the difference between a pile of dead children and a Bugatti?
I don't have a Bugatti in my garage.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs outside your front door?
Mat
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too, if your name was "mmmmph"
While wheeling my girlfriend into an elevator, I motioned to a group of girls across the way. "I bet you wish you had legs as nice as them." Apparently, that's an insensitive thing to say to a disabled person.
What was the boy going to say to his dad when he got back from buying smokes?
I don't know, he's been waiting for several years now.
What did John Wilkes Booth's co-conspirators say on the night of the assassination?
"Break a leg!"
My neighbor's kid won't stop screaming.
I'm starting to think I should give him back.
Life is like a box of chocolates.
Fat people finish it sooner.
You wanna know the worst part about eating vegetables?
Their wheelchairs.
It's sad to think Sandy Hook Elementary ordered books, but all they got were magazines.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great quote.
Probably not the best way to tell you're kid they're adopted, though.
I saw a black fellow running down the street with a T.V. and I thought "I hope that isn't mine"
So I ran back home to check. Nope, mine was still there, shining my shoes.
I met an old Jewish fellow the other day.
Apparently, "How was camp" was not an appropriate question.
What's black and white, and red all over?
Ferguson Missouri.
I met my mom the other day.
"I think you'd look better with your hair back" is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
That's all folks. Remember, black humor is best humor. Jokes so dark, they only count as 3/5 of actual jokes.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
What's the difference between a pile of dead children and a Bugatti?
I don't have a Bugatti in my garage.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs outside your front door?
Mat
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too, if your name was "mmmmph"
While wheeling my girlfriend into an elevator, I motioned to a group of girls across the way. "I bet you wish you had legs as nice as them." Apparently, that's an insensitive thing to say to a disabled person.
What was the boy going to say to his dad when he got back from buying smokes?
I don't know, he's been waiting for several years now.
What did John Wilkes Booth's co-conspirators say on the night of the assassination?
"Break a leg!"
My neighbor's kid won't stop screaming.
I'm starting to think I should give him back.
Life is like a box of chocolates.
Fat people finish it sooner.
You wanna know the worst part about eating vegetables?
Their wheelchairs.
It's sad to think Sandy Hook Elementary ordered books, but all they got were magazines.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great quote.
Probably not the best way to tell you're kid they're adopted, though.
I saw a black fellow running down the street with a T.V. and I thought "I hope that isn't mine"
So I ran back home to check. Nope, mine was still there, shining my shoes.
I met an old Jewish fellow the other day.
Apparently, "How was camp" was not an appropriate question.
What's black and white, and red all over?
Ferguson Missouri.
I met my mom the other day.
"I think you'd look better with your hair back" is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
That's all folks. Remember, black humor is best humor. Jokes so dark, they only count as 3/5 of actual jokes.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
1
Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting starfish
Interrupting starfi- *gets hand in face*
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
Who's there?
Interrupting starfish
Interrupting starfi- *gets hand in face*
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
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Someone playing a priest rush deck in hearthstone
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
1
Click to reveal
Click to reveal
Click to reveal
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
1
Knock Knock
Who's there
Who the F--- do you think I am? You heard me speak!
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
Who's there
Who the F--- do you think I am? You heard me speak!
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
1
Wanna hear a joke?
King stole a coke
King stole a coke
1
When you realize it wasn't a fart...
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
1
1. Why do abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxy & z hate hanging out with the letter n? Because n always has to be the center of attention.
2. The time traveler was still hungry after his last bite, so he went back four seconds.
3. What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer? A loose Canon.
4. Deeply exhaling indicates a negative mood – at least that’s what sighentists say.
5. What did Lil Jon do when the hardware store employee tried to sell him a lightbulb? Turned down 4 Watt.
6. What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080pee.
7.Time flies when you throw your obnoxious alarm clock across the room.
8. Accidentally broke my Irish friend’s Pixar movie. He wasn’t amused, but he did say “You cracked me Up.”
9. Did you hear about the sensitive burglar? He takes things personally.
10. How do you impress a baker when you’re taking his daughter on a date? Bring her flours.
11. A stinky man walks into a bar. Unfortunately it isn’t of soap.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
credit goes to http://thoughtcatalog.com/christopher-h ... -of-humor/ for all of this corny cheesy goodness.
2. The time traveler was still hungry after his last bite, so he went back four seconds.
3. What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer? A loose Canon.
4. Deeply exhaling indicates a negative mood – at least that’s what sighentists say.
5. What did Lil Jon do when the hardware store employee tried to sell him a lightbulb? Turned down 4 Watt.
6. What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080pee.
7.Time flies when you throw your obnoxious alarm clock across the room.
8. Accidentally broke my Irish friend’s Pixar movie. He wasn’t amused, but he did say “You cracked me Up.”
9. Did you hear about the sensitive burglar? He takes things personally.
10. How do you impress a baker when you’re taking his daughter on a date? Bring her flours.
11. A stinky man walks into a bar. Unfortunately it isn’t of soap.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
credit goes to http://thoughtcatalog.com/christopher-h ... -of-humor/ for all of this corny cheesy goodness.
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Dont call me a racist but...
What do you call a black person flying a plane?
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
A dyslexic man walks into a bra
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot on the other side.
Knock knock, who's there. . .
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
What do you call a black person flying a plane?
Click to reveal
A pilot, what da heck did you think?!? Racist
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
A dyslexic man walks into a bra
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot on the other side.
Knock knock, who's there. . .
Click to reveal
The chicken
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
1
Guy: Ask me if I am a truck.
Other guy: are you a truck?
NOOOOOOOOO!
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
Other guy: are you a truck?
NOOOOOOOOO!
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
1
Knock Knock...
Who is there?
Door...
Door Who?
Dooraw The Explora
*Gun Shot*
Who is there?
Door...
Door Who?
Dooraw The Explora
*Gun Shot*
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ayyyyy lmao
1
1
Ugh, you wouldn't beleaf mine.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
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I think you mean bayleef
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
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Star is cool.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
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GG50inb4 ban
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
That's awful! LOL
1
Most of mine are racist.
but: I Found this on Youtube! Referencing SSB4, Kid Icarus, and Sakurai
>"didn't want to over represent his own series"
>dark pit
Guess he got over it.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
but: I Found this on Youtube! Referencing SSB4, Kid Icarus, and Sakurai
>"didn't want to over represent his own series"
>dark pit
Guess he got over it.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
1
Offensive Chansey
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
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Pre-built PCs
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
1
Worst joke ever heard? A Deaf guy.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
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inb4 ban
What did the boy with no limbs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a drunk driver.
How do you get a clown off a swing?
An axe.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter, he's not gonna come anyway.
Why do Timmy's parents keep calling him?
Timmy was killed in an accident last year and his parents are so stricken with grief they have been unable to realize that he is dead.
What's blue and wriggles around in a corner?
A baby with a plastic bag over its head.
Whats green and sits still in the corner?
Same baby several months later.
She called me 'ugly' until she found out how much money I made.
Now, she calls me 'ugly' and 'poor'.
Why weren't Kyle's parents able to come back from their vacation?
They contracted Ebola and where placed under quarantine where they died several days later.
Where was JFK during his assassination?
All over his wife.
That's all folks. Remember: Black humor is best. Jokes so dark, they only count as 3/5 of actual jokes.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
What did the boy with no limbs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a drunk driver.
How do you get a clown off a swing?
An axe.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter, he's not gonna come anyway.
Why do Timmy's parents keep calling him?
Timmy was killed in an accident last year and his parents are so stricken with grief they have been unable to realize that he is dead.
What's blue and wriggles around in a corner?
A baby with a plastic bag over its head.
Whats green and sits still in the corner?
Same baby several months later.
She called me 'ugly' until she found out how much money I made.
Now, she calls me 'ugly' and 'poor'.
Why weren't Kyle's parents able to come back from their vacation?
They contracted Ebola and where placed under quarantine where they died several days later.
Where was JFK during his assassination?
All over his wife.
That's all folks. Remember: Black humor is best. Jokes so dark, they only count as 3/5 of actual jokes.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
1
i feel awful since i laughed at all of them
1
A man eats a apple
The other guy says thats 9000 years old
the man says you suck
the other guy faints and dents his car
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
The other guy says thats 9000 years old
the man says you suck
the other guy faints and dents his car
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
1
Other Person: Now, type what you think is the right thing to do.
Me:what you think is the right thing to do.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
Me:what you think is the right thing to do.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
1
This is an actual joke I told my IRL friends.
Me: Hey! Your shoe's untied!
Me: BETTER GO TIE IT!!!!! HAHAHAHAHHAA
And more laughing hystericaly.(Which made everyone else laugh)
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
Me: Hey! Your shoe's untied!
Me: BETTER GO TIE IT!!!!! HAHAHAHAHHAA
And more laughing hystericaly.(Which made everyone else laugh)
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
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why did the chicken cross the road is the most oldest and repeated joke
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SkyDoesMinecraft
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
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hahaha
Edit: Sorry, shouldn't laugh. Supposed to be bad jokes right.
Edit: Sorry, shouldn't laugh. Supposed to be bad jokes right.
1
fanboys are gonna get you, i'm sorry, i'm so so sorry...
1
Person: What do you see?
Little Mexican girl: See?
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
Little Mexican girl: See?
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
1
Taxes.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
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What is a minecraft?
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
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knock knock fart
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
1
Apple.
Surely thats a good joke?
Surely thats a good joke?
1
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
1
okok my turn.
BRACE YOURSELFS
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it. I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.
PS.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
PPS. I TOTALLY DID NOT RIP OFF FROM http://www.punoftheday.com/cgi-bin/disppuns.pl?ord=F AT ALLLLL WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.
BRACE YOURSELFS
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it. I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.
PS.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
PPS. I TOTALLY DID NOT RIP OFF FROM http://www.punoftheday.com/cgi-bin/disppuns.pl?ord=F AT ALLLLL WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.
1
Its a Knock Knock Joke
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
1
A man walks into a bar
He says ouch.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
He says ouch.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
1
According to scientists, the funniest joke in the world is:
Two guys out hiking
One falls down. The other guy calls 911
'Help me help me I think my friend is dead!'
The lady on the other end says ' Okay, calm down. First we need to make sure he's actually dead.' There's a bit of silence, then you here a sound like and axe hitting a watermelon.
They guy gets back on the phone. 'Okay. What's next?'
It just goes to show there are some things you shouldn't leave to scientists.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY
Two guys out hiking
One falls down. The other guy calls 911
'Help me help me I think my friend is dead!'
The lady on the other end says ' Okay, calm down. First we need to make sure he's actually dead.' There's a bit of silence, then you here a sound like and axe hitting a watermelon.
They guy gets back on the phone. 'Okay. What's next?'
It just goes to show there are some things you shouldn't leave to scientists.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) EYYYYYYYYY