Published Jul 31st, 2013, 7/31/13 1:40 am
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Many years ago, back in the days of yore, there was once a turtle. He was a very stupid turtle. One day, the very stupid turtle wandered into the domain of the Witch Queen. An orc found the turtle and took him to the Queen. She grabbed him by his shell, and threw him on a table. The turtle was all like "Pfft, screw this!" and not realizing how tall the table was, rolled off and was brain damaged. The witch picked him up, and laid him back on the table. He didn't try to do it this time, mostly because he was slipping on the foam that was receding from his mouth. The witch started pouring stuff in bottles, and poured it into a strange tool like thing, and pushed it close to the turtle's head. A secret hinge came out and pulled itself around the other side of the turtle's head. A loud CRACK! was heard, and the turtle felt really goopy. Then he felt pain. Extreme pain. The witch was holding the turtle's skull. Well, half of it. The first thing that came to the turtle's head besides "deauguahahhhahhh" and the urge to chew on his tongue was "HOW DID SHE EVEN GET MY SKULL?" It took him a while to realize that was his skull, and it was time he did not have. The witch noticed a part of his skull was still in there, the part that was keeping his brain (kind of) intact. The witch decided to try to get it out, throwing random chemicals in the strange tool to keep it working. Suddenly, the turtle lashed out, trying to protect itself. The tool slipped, and fell on top of his head. The liquid leaked out of the tool and into his brain. A transformation began happening. The witch realized "Omg, I like, totally, like, put Chemical X and steroids, like, totally in thar by mistake!" Suddenly, he transformed into...
THE ADVENTURTLE!
(adventure-turtle. genius.)
His skull somehow regrew, but instead it was larger, pinker, and fleshier than usual.
(Scroll back up and take the time to remove his hat.)
He strangled the witch with his eyebrows, and after realizing his super strength, killed all the orcs in the valley with a chest hair. The orcs had never been so close to beauty.
He ran to the town, and asked the people if he was any different. After realizing he was talking, he knew he was different, so it was kind of useless to ask them. They all branded him a freak. Then...
A dragon attacked the village! The Adventurtle grabbed Excaliburp, a legendary sword that was half off with the purchase of another Excaliburp, and went to slay the dragon. The only problem was when he fell, his shell also cracked, so after fighting the dragon, his shell eventually fell off. He kneeled over in pain, thinking he was going to die, but realized since he was now a man turtle, and had no need of a shell, he would be fine. But he would need clothes. After scarring half of the children in the village with his green turtle badunkadunks, He bought an iron tunic, a belt, boots, and a brown undershirt.
He was ready. To be.
Epic.
In his life, The Adventurtle...
Killed the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles by sneezing at them and blowing them to Manhattan.
Defeated Chuck Norris by staring him down...WITH HIS EYES CLOSED.
Ate rocks for break feast...WITH NO MILK! (Comment if you get this reference)
Before he died, he was thrown into the sea, where he once came from... To be reborn as a fish, and later eaten by a wild pokemon, to later have his soul return to his original body after beating the devil in a thumb war, and lived his infinite life being a boss...
THE ADVENTURTLE!
(adventure-turtle. genius.)
His skull somehow regrew, but instead it was larger, pinker, and fleshier than usual.
(Scroll back up and take the time to remove his hat.)
He strangled the witch with his eyebrows, and after realizing his super strength, killed all the orcs in the valley with a chest hair. The orcs had never been so close to beauty.
He ran to the town, and asked the people if he was any different. After realizing he was talking, he knew he was different, so it was kind of useless to ask them. They all branded him a freak. Then...
A dragon attacked the village! The Adventurtle grabbed Excaliburp, a legendary sword that was half off with the purchase of another Excaliburp, and went to slay the dragon. The only problem was when he fell, his shell also cracked, so after fighting the dragon, his shell eventually fell off. He kneeled over in pain, thinking he was going to die, but realized since he was now a man turtle, and had no need of a shell, he would be fine. But he would need clothes. After scarring half of the children in the village with his green turtle badunkadunks, He bought an iron tunic, a belt, boots, and a brown undershirt.
He was ready. To be.
Epic.
In his life, The Adventurtle...
Killed the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles by sneezing at them and blowing them to Manhattan.
Defeated Chuck Norris by staring him down...WITH HIS EYES CLOSED.
Ate rocks for break feast...WITH NO MILK! (Comment if you get this reference)
Before he died, he was thrown into the sea, where he once came from... To be reborn as a fish, and later eaten by a wild pokemon, to later have his soul return to his original body after beating the devil in a thumb war, and lived his infinite life being a boss...
| Gender | Male |
| Model | Steve |
| Tags |
tools/tracking
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scratchcrafter1
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FAUST130907
DGTC
ScotsMiser
The_Inspector
HudSolo2009
StalkerNugget
Nymphali22290
oarfish
oliviobobby
snowyvulpixes
Blitzertheproto
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