Recently, I was stumbling through an office building littered with foam swords and nerf guns. I was looking for the bathroom. Anyway, I came upon a file cabinet that said DO NOT TOUCH! -Notch. I was tempted, but I knew Notch's word was law, and I walked away. Then, my curiosity overcame me. I opened the cabinet. Inside I found a single paper, with this written on it.
-------------------------------------------- TOP SECRET: READ IF YOU WANT EYES TO COME OFF.--------------------
"Seems legit"
So I began to read.

1. The reason monsters don't come out during the day is that they are conspiring against you and the pigs.

2. Sheep hate you.

3. When people see you go up to a creeper and hug it, they are laughing AT you, not WITH you.

4. Creepers are not innocent and do not want hugs. That is a lie spread by sheep.

5. Cocoa isn't really cocoa...

6. Endermen are actually freakishly tall teenagers in costumes.

7. Squids could stand up right walk up to your door, knock, and punch you in the face if they felt like it.

8. Jeb's hair is magical and has healing properties.

9. Jnkboy is actually a pigman.

10. Wolves enjoy burning.