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Bedtime Story No. 1

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subpartikel avatar subpartikel
Level 31 : Artisan Architect
20
You have a kid who won't fall asleep?
I got you mate.

bedtime story no. 1

There was a teddy bear. His name was Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón.
You may have a few questions.
Why is his name so long?
Why does he have a Spanish name even thought he was born in Russia?
Why is he named after that angry Mexican guy who tried to take over Texas?
Well, you see, his parents were not the sharpest tools in the shed.
In fact, they thought that vaccinations were-

lets not go there

Anyways, Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón's parents dropped out of high school. They were janitors at a filthy Burger King, where they would clean the lettuce because it has been stepped on.

editor note: there is an unhealthy amount of memes is this safe for children

Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón lived in a poor neighborhood and went to a poor school and ate poor food and played poor man stuff. Like soccer, but the ball was a tennis ball.

how do you do that

He had a big dream of being rich and going to Moscow to see people trying hard to dance like the soviets but failing and spraining their ankles by doing that fortnite squat kick dance.

editor note: why fortnite

But his parents wanted him to stay in his poor neighborhood to appreciate traditional, humble slavic life.
Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón did not like that at all.
So he snuck out of his house late at night and ran to Moscow. Guess where he landed.

In a manhole.

His parents found out and beat him with a-

this is too violent for children

his parents did not beat him but they scolded him.


Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón graduated from high school and since his name was so long, the certificate only said "Santa Anna".


and Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón did not like that at all because he was named after a liberal dictator.


Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón tried to go to Moscow. Guess where he landed instead.

That same manhole.




thank you sub-bots for reading my trash

manhole.
manhole.
manhole.
manhole.
manhole.
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2
04/06/2019 6:36 pm
Level 31 : Artisan Architect
subpartikel
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why are you reading this
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