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CHorse's Not So Magical Critique Of A Fantasy Story

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avatar CHorse
Level 38 : Artisan Fish
181
'Ello there frens! Because let’s be honest, the only people reading this are friends who I’ve begged to read this or some of my subscribers who just kinda like whatever crap I post xD


I know you might be wondering; well gee, you’re going to tear apart some poor kid’s book that he’s obviously spent time into! You should be ashamed! And I respect your opinion, but it’s wrong :L I’m not here to attack this poor kiddo, I’m here to do 3 things:


A: Teach the kiddo and help him improve


2: Teach you guys how to avoid these problems


III: Get xp off of it because I like exploiting these issues for free xps xD


Five: Ruin some poor guy’s day because of my inconsistency in this list.


Also, it’s in a spoiler so you can actually get to the comments section and berate me for anything I do wrong.


Here Ya go! Click me pls!




But remember everybody, if you make a thing that sucks, fix it unless you really don’t care bout it. And as always thank you for reading, have a good day!


-CHorse


Who is probably going to get sued for copyrights.


Those dern lawyers.

Original forum post
Tags

1
05/18/2020 11:44 am
Level 37 : Artisan Waffle
CatUnicorn123
Darn it, idk if this story I made has a expo dump at the start or if it’s fine
1
05/18/2020 11:46 am
Level 37 : Artisan Waffle
CatUnicorn123
Also yes, I read this all just cause
1
07/21/2019 9:25 pm
Level 38 : Artisan Strawberry
strxberricake
I'm scared to publish any books now
oop-
1
07/21/2019 10:03 pm
Level 38 : Artisan Fish
CHorse
Well if you do don't worry!

I'll be watching . . .

(but in all seriousness go ahead xD I'll ask for permission to critique it beforehand unless you're a bum who doesn't want to hear negative opinions.)
1
07/21/2019 10:20 pm
Level 38 : Artisan Strawberry
strxberricake
o.o

(Oh, thanks xD I thought you just took the content and did whatever xD)
1
07/21/2019 10:49 pm
Level 38 : Artisan Fish
CHorse
No, I only did it like this because that guy was being a bum. It's one thing to write a crap story, but it's another to ask for feedback and then get mad at people who give negative feedback. I just felt like doing something to atleast give him a lil slap on the face xD
2
07/21/2019 10:52 pm
Level 38 : Artisan Strawberry
strxberricake
oH well, in that case, he deserved it. xD
2
07/16/2019 11:17 pm
Level 46 : Master Professor
Eli the Zeratoed
Even though I'm not the kid who made this article, the criticism was really helpful on my end, because I too, am sometimes guilty of throwing in exposition dumps in the dialogue. On another note, this blog was really fun to read! May I PM you something to critique as well?
2
07/16/2019 11:27 pm
Level 38 : Artisan Fish
CHorse
Well I'm glad it helped. And yeah sure, if you have something for me to critique then just send it my way; this blog took 1 hour to slap together anyway so it's not much of a problem.
1
07/17/2019 2:53 am
Level 46 : Master Professor
Eli the Zeratoed
Alright, then! I'll send you a PM about it as soon as possible!
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