Year 200313-Bacon-122. Family house of Bit-1556 family. New New New York. United states of what’s left of the world.

5:30 AM.

Mr Bit-1556 was on his way to work. As usual, he put on his chip, made a digital vision of his suit over his body, and stepped out of his house. He stood on the edge of the sidewalk cliff, waiting for the traveling board. He scanned the surroundings, and lift his left eyebrow as a sign of greetings to his neighbor on his left, mr Bit-1985, gently nodded his head once to his neighbor across the cliff, mrs Bit-3567 (she’s new around here), and barely looked to the left, while lifting his mouth barely by few millimeters into a smile, as saying hello to his next door neighbor, Bob. “Top of the morning to ya, mate!”, said Bob. Ugh, Bob. Nobody liked him. As usual, the transport board flew by at 5:40, and he jumped onto it, hanging on with his magnetized hip. The gravity being lowered due to losing Earth’s mass, people could not move their legs without help of metal, and over time, they have realized that using codes is much simpler then remembering full last names.

As he was flying over the city, he was looking down on it. Of course, the parts that weren’t covered in pink smoke. Since there is no salvation from smoke, they just decided to color the coal pink. Fun! He didn’t like his job. He had to sit there, all day, and press a button! How tiring! He always wanted to be a construction worker, or, you know, an astronaut, but his father never let him do it. But today, he couldn’t be bothered. It was a special day. It was his birthday. After drinking his afternoon coffee replacement liquid substance, he was finished with his shift. He had to press that button 32 times. 32! Could you believe how hard and tiring that was.

He got back home, to see that his most favorite person in the world was waiting to congratulate him reaching the age of 46- his mother-in-law, as well as his mother, looking at each other like two hungry alfa-males, ready to strike. “Happy birthday!” everyone cheered, like it could get more disappointing. “Wow, what a surprise” he said in pity. After eating the gluten-free, sugar-free instant powder-to-cake mix, baked, of course, it was time for him to open presents. “MINE FIRST!”-screamed his mother, as always. Impressively enough, she got him a first edition action figure of Nutman, from 40 years ago. He used to read that comic. When he was 5. Will she ever grow up? “Let’s go nuts!”-screamed the doll, sorry, action figure. That was it’s catchphrase. Why did anyone ever like that?

“My next!”- shouted the mother-in-law, with an evil smile. “It’s a….”- it was a set of porcelain teacups. They were pink, painted with yellow. He “accidentally” dropped it few days later. “….so, don’t you love them? Original Chinese porcelain!”

“Yes. So amazing.”- he answered, barely not throwing up. Finally, all that was left was his wife and children’s gift. “Dad!”-jelled his daughter-“we got you a teleport!”.

“A teleport!?”- he got excited. He thought it was still a prototype. “FINALLY, I can go back in time, and not repeat my bad life choices! I could be rich, single and surrounded by…”-he realized he was talking out loud again. “Dad”-angrily said his son-“ The teleport. That new telephone…”.

“That is nut okay”-said the doll, breaking the awkward silence.

And no, no it wasn’t. The end. Of his life.