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Dungs & Dookies: Noob's Short-Lived Adventure

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avatar Carcharodontosaurus
Level 52 : Grandmaster Caveman
329
Alright, here's some "Dungs & Dookies" RP for you guys.
This is basically a repost of that wallpost I made, just so you don't have to search through my 1700 wallposts to find this. It is the noob's adventure. A "beginner's dungeon" to say the least. An "intro", to the real deal.



You crawl into a very slim tunnel within the mountain walls, in there, the tunnel suddenly splits in 3. You now have... uh.. 3 choices, obviously... So what are you gonna do, punk?

Go to:

1: If you want to go through the tunnel to the left.
2:
If you want to go through the tunnel in the middle.
3: If you want to go through the tunnel to the right.

1
You walk into the tunnel to the left. You die. From a heart-attack.
#RealisticRP
2
You walk into the middle tunnel. There's a big fat witch sitting on a sofa. she asks you:
"What the hell are you doing in my living-room????"

Go to:

4: If you answer "That's none of your business foul hag, where are the popcorn?"
5: If you answer "ATTACC" and then use your short-sword to make quick work of the stupid mottled brat.

3
You walk into the tunnel to the right, and you fall down a hole.
You now find yourself in a sorta cozy basement, but there's A BLOODY DRAGON TAKING A NAP ON THE RUG. DRAT DRAT DRAT. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO!? Ohoho wait, there's a bicc bloody chest behind it, filled to the brim with gold. What will you do? Twat?

Go to:

6: If you choose to "Attack"
7: If you want to go sleep next to it.
8: If you wanna drink some water and calm yourself, and then crawl out of the hole again.
4
You choose to tell the witch "That's none of your business foul hag, where are the popcorn?" which she then responds with "You're elderberries"

And now you're elderberries. Yes. She just turned you into that. Good job moron.
5
You choose to yell out "ATTACC" and then use your short-sword to make quick work of the stupid mottled brat. And it was most effective. You chopped her ugly nose off, and now she went over into a corner and started crying. In the other corner of the room, there's a chest. You now have 3 choices.

Go to:

9: If you want to go comfort the stupid old ugly witch.
10:
If you want to check out that chest for the possibility of sweet-ass loot.
11: If you wanna just go home...

6
You choose to "Attack" the sleeping dragon.

Well, your sword just shattered in 1000 trillion pieces, and some of them went into your eyes, so now you can't see, you're bleeding, crying, blind, and you're in the same room as a grumpy dragon you just awakened too. You must be a special kind of stupid.

Unless, you of course have some sort of "magic oil" to use on your lousy sword, so it can penetrate the scales.

Go to:

12: If you have obtained "Magical Oil".
7
You choose to sleep next to it.

And it kinda worked. The dragon kinda liked having a pal nearby to sleep around. But after a week, he got tired of you, and made you into a bacon-cheese barbecue burger.
8
You choose to drink some water, calming yourself, and then climbing out of the hole.

You're now back at the tunnels. What are you gonna do?

Go to:

1: If you want to go through the tunnel to the left.
2:
If you want to go through the tunnel in the middle.
3: If you want to go through the tunnel to the right.
9
You choose to go comfort the stupid old ugly witch.

Why?????

You just straight up die, cause I think that's such a lame thing to do.
10
You choose to check out that chest for the possibility of sweet-ass loot.

Heck yes. There's a... wait... what??? "Magic oil"????? What the hell is this???? WHAT THE JABBERWOCKING DUNG IS GOING ON HERE!?!?!? WHERE IS THE SWEET LOOT???????????

Nonetheless, you take the bloody oil... now what? You're back at the tunnels.

Go to:

1: If you want to go through the tunnel to the left.
2:
If you want to go through the tunnel in the middle.
3: If you want to go through the tunnel to the right.
11
You choose to just go home.

So now you're back in the tavern, binge-eating Ben & Jerry's "Dookie Dough" with some goblins, who lost their sense of smell and taste a long time ago, cause they were cursed by an evil wizard, after they tried to steal his "Piratos".
12
You used the magical oil on your short-(stupid)sword, and guess what. You chopped the head of the dragon off clean. And now, all this sweet loot is just for you! Now you can probably get something else than "Dookie Dough" at the tavern. Perhaps, a glass of Troll Piss for once!
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