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Before I start this, yes, I'm British and no, I don't speak like a stereotypical British person because that's a stereotype.

In this, I am going to make sure PMC can become a place where grammar is always perfect. Because then we know what you're saying. Now let's go over some punctuation...

This '  is an apostrophe. An apostrophe is used for two things. Omission and Possession. When do you put them and where? 

Let's have a few examples. Omission is for when letters are missing. You put it where the missing letters would have went. Do not becomes don't.

Don't 
Did you see the apostrophe? No?

Don't
What about now? Okay..

Don't
There. This works for other things too like would not becomes wouldn't. The missing letter(s) become the apostrophe.

What about Possession? 
You use possession for saying something belongs to someone. Like Adam's Apple.

Adam's Apple
It goes there before the S because it's Adam's apple. But what if it was James?

James' Jam
You could have this or

James's Jam
Both of these are correct but the first one looks neater, so I prefer to use that one. The reason this is different is because the name ends with an S so you can either add an apostrophe or add an apostrophe with an S.

If the word is plural or not like children and child. 

Just becuase a word has an S on the end, it doesn't mean it needs an apostrophe. -.-

Probably other things.

Now let's cut an apostrophe's wings off and send it falling to the ground. That's a comma. What I did there was something called personification, but you don't need to worry about that. We're covering grammar here. You use commas to add pauses and save lifes. No, I mean it.

Let's eat Grandma! ✘
Let's eat, Grandma! ✔
You see the massive difference? We don't want to eat Grandma, unless you're a cannibal. We want to eat with Grandma. Write things down how you would say them, as long as you don't speak like this like yeah innit like yeah 'sup innit.

Another way you can use commas, which I use quite alot as you can see, is to add clauses and seperate sentences. You do this by adding a phrase that does not make sense by itself and putting it in between, before or after a sentence.

Bob who has a big belly button is bonkers! ✘

Bob, who has a big belly button, is bonkers! ✔
"Bob is bonkers" makes sense on it's own. However, "who has a big belly button" does not. This is why it goes in commas. Depending on what you are saying, decide where abouts in the sentence your extra bit goes. If you want to know fancy names, the bit that makes sense on it's own is called a main clause, and the bit that doesn't is called the subordinate clause. You're welcome.

Full Stops
Before I start this one, I would like you americans to know that I did a quick search on "le internet" and have discovered you call it the "period". Don't be confused when I say full stop. Now, the full stop has a very important role in English Punctuation and Grammar. Guess what? It ends a sentence...

The most important thing can be the simplest. Why do we need to end sentences? A sentence ending allows you to breath if you're reading it out, so if a sentence with no commas or full stops will mean that you keep on reading this out until you begin to run out of oxygen and slowly begin to die from a lack of oxygen and if you finally do get a breath of fresh air and oxygen begins to flow around your body giving your brain what it needs again, the lack of oxygen for a certain amount of time could cause brain damage and it may be permanent. To end this big sentence, all you need to do is split it into smaller sentences using commas and full stops. 
Every full stop should have a space after it!
Full stops also become other things which I can cover quickly.
? = Question Mark
A question mark is put at the end of a question.
! = Exclamation Mark
An exclamation mark is put at the end of a shout if in speech or something exiting.
... = ellipses
Ellipses are put at the end of a "cliff hanger" and create a larger pause.
: = colon
A colon is put before a list begins if the sentence does not make sense on it's own.
; = semi-colon
A semi-colon is used before a list if the sentence before it does make sense on it's own, but it also goes inbetween items in the list if there is a description of that item. You can also use a semi-colon to link two sentences that are about the same topic together. Don't worry, I'll come back to this later.


Captital Letters
Another simple thing I would like to cover. Capital letters are amazing. What needs a capital letter, I hear you ask? Nouns do! But not every noun does. Let me go in bigger text to show you.
First thing's first, a noun is the name of something. But that does not mean we put a capital letter infront of every word or it would look something like this...
My Car is Red and Blue. My Dad thought my Car is ugly and wanted to bring it to a Junk Yard but then he Crashed into a Bus on a Road in Portugal. ✘
The problem with that is that everything that had a name, like the colours, the places, the objects and the names all had capital letters. Only one of those nouns need to be there. That noun is a proper noun.
A proper noun is the name of a person or location.
Florence lives in France. ✔
Florence is the name of someone so that has a capital letter and France is the name of a country so that has a capital letter. Simple, right?
Another thing to remember is the first letter of any sentence is always a capital letter, aswell as any i that is on it's own.
Sometimes, Florence and I go to France. ✔

You can also hold down shift to make a capital.

Colons and Semi-Colons
Yay, we're back to this again! Believe me, it's simple. Let's start with the colon. 
This is a colon:
How do you use a colon? I said before that you use it in a list if the sentance doesn't make sense. This is what I mean.
I went to the shop and bought:
Then the list would begin going down. See how the sentence does not make sense without the list after it? That is when you use a colon. To seperate the items in the list, you can either use commas or begin a new line.
The semi-colon is more complicated... It has a proper sentence before the list begins.
I went to the shop and bought many things;
If you said that sentence by itself, it makes sense, unlike the one with the colon. However, the list doesn't go down, it goes across. 
I went to the shop and bought many things; a banana, an apple, etc.
Now, with semi-colons, we can add description to the things we list by putting a semi-colon.
a yellow banana; a red apple; a gun that I did not kill anybody with; and my hairy hamster
The semi-colon must go inbetween everything, from the beggining to the end. The semi-colon can also link two relating sentences together.
I did not fear him; I thought he was adorable.
These both relate to the guy and how the writer feels about him so they can be linked. If you do this, remember that both sentences have to make sense on their own.


Now some small things that you should know...
They're = They are kids.
Their = It's theirs.
There = It's right there.

Which = Which one?
Witch = The witch on a broomstick died.

To = I went to the shop.
Two = There's two of them.
Too = There's too much!

Your = Your cat is dead.
You're = You are dead.

By = I travelled by boat.
Bye = I said goodbye.
Buy = I am going to buy a phone.

Break = He is going to break my new phone!
Brake = He applied the brakes.

Here = Come here!
Hear = I can hear you...

Peace = The world was at peace...
Piece = ...Until it was torn apart, piece by piece!

Whole = The Whole thing?
Hole = Don't fall in that hole!

No = He said no.
Know = I know.

Stare = I began to stare into his eyes.
Stair = He fell down the stairs.

Raise = You raise me up.
Rays = The sun rays set fire to the rain.
Rase = Erase that madness!
Raze = Raze the city! I never want to see it standing again!
Réis = Give me your réis!
For definitions of any of these words, click on this lovely sentance


Thank you for reading this tutorial on English Grammar. Please use it now and type properly.
Thanks.

Thank you for making this go on pop reel. It makes me think that those 3 hours typing this wasn't a waste of time.