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avatar RileyPlaysGames
Level 45 : Master Toast
84
Chapter One: Return to Fredbear and Friends

So, remember that old children’s pizzeria chain, Fredbear and Friends? A place of happiness and joy. Well, not anymore, this is my story on how I barely escaped the clutches of Fredbear and his gang of human hunting robots.
-Riley Muir 1989
Former Employee of Fredbear and Friends Co.



"daledaledale… daledaledale" “Huh?” The phone was ringing, this late at night, this had to have been important. So, I picked up. “Hello, who is this and why are you calling so early in the morning?” I asked “Riley, it’s me, Jonathan.” Jonathan explained "Why was Jonathan calling at this time on a Saturday night?" I thought to myself. “Do you remember that old Pizzeria, Fredbear’s Family Diner, well Amy and I are on our way there, we were wondering if you would maybe like to join us.” Jonathan asked “You’re breaking in?” I asked curiously. “Well, of course.” Jonathan responded. “Count me in, be there in 20.” I ended the call and opened my closet to change clothes. I finished dressing and grabbed my phone and keys. I headed downstairs and went outside, locking the door behind me. “Here I go.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The trip to Fredbear’s was eerie as all the lights were shut off and almost no one was on the streets. I pulled up to an abandoned building on the side of a road and got out of the car. “This must be it.” I thought, walking towards the entrance where my eager friends were waiting. “Hey look who turned up.” Amy said with a sarcastic tone as they turned to me. “Hey guys, so how are we going to get in.” I asked. “Oh, no big deal” Jonathan said as he grabbed a crowbar out of his bag and pried the door open. “Open sesame.” We all walked inside, turning on our flashlights. We saw an old run down cash register atop of worn bench, that must’ve been the pay station. We opened it just to see if they had left any cash we could 'borrow' only to be disappointed. We continued and walked into the main dining area. "Wow, Jonathan, Amy look! The animatronics are still on stage! These could be worth thousands!" I exclaimed as I stared the animatronics up and down. "Cool, we'll worry about them when we get the power back up." Jonathan protested as he and Amy both looked me in the eye. "Ahem.. Riley if you may." Amy said, indicating I should be the one to do it. "Typical" I thought, finally giving in. "Fine." I said back as I started to walk off, looking for the main power switch. "It must be backstage" I thought. I looked back and saw Amy examining the Spring Bonnie animatronic and Jonathan walking into the other room. I strolled down the hallway until I came upon a small room with a sign on the door. 'EMPLOYEES ONLY' this must have been it. I opened the door and pointed my flashlight in the appropriate direction in which the switch was. I pointed my flashlight to the right and noticed a figure sitting on the table beside me. I jumped of fear but noticed it was lifeless. It was just one of the spare animatronic endoskeletons. "Phew." I turned on the power and started to walk back down the hallway, closing the door behind me. "God this place is a maze." I thought as I turned various corners until I found myself back at the main dining area. Except, Amy was nowhere to be found. I walked into the other room where and saw Jonathan. "Have you seen Amy? She disappeared." I asked. "No I haven't, she must be wandering the pizzeria." Jonathan replied. I searched a couple party rooms and found nothing. I was about to give up until a bloodcurdling scream echoed throughout the building...
"Amy?"

Chapter Two: Reboot

"Jonathan, who the hell was that?" I shouted as Jonathan glared back at me with a terrified expression. " I think that might have been Amy!" Jonathan replied. If this was Amy we knew she was in danger so we needed to act fast. "What to do, what to do!" I thought as Jonathan started to run into the other rooms in desperate search for Amy. "Jonathan, wait!" I cried but before I knew it he was gone. "Dammit." I started to walk around helping Jonathan to find our friend in need. I searched the power room and the hallways and found nothing until I stumbled upon a second dining room. As I entered the room slowly I saw Amy on one of the tables. I raced over to check her condition and noticed she had a huge cut across her chest and stomach. There was blood everywhere. "Oh God!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I heard Jonathan running to my location. "Riley! I'm coming!" he yelled as I covered my eyes. Hoping that we I opened them again it would all be a dream. I opened them and to my relief, everything was normal. I was sitting is a lit room with balloons and party streamers. There was also party music and the sounds of kids laughing and playing. As I inspected my surroundings the happy and playful environment started to distort and darken. I rubbed my eyes only to be disappointed. It was all just a vision. Adrenaline surged through my blood as I looked up from Amy's dead body and saw a pair of white eyes in the darkness. They started to edge forward with each movement, a heavy pounding sound on the floor. It's eyes lit up the room like torches. I stumbled backwards and fell over a table. The figure emerged into view and it was one of the abandoned and withered animatronics. "What was Foxy still doing activated?' I thought as I came back to reality, realising the animatronic had blood all up it's arm. I quickly jumped up and started to sprint towards the hallway, strategically pushing one of the tables, blocking Foxy from reaching me. I ran down the hallway and stopped when I saw Jonathan leaning on a doorway. "Riley, is that really you?" He asked "Yes.." I replied. I started to walk towards him but another one of the robots dragged him into the doorway he was leaning on. I heard a faint scream and a splatter of blood. I screamed and ran back down the hallway, covering my eyes and trying not to cry. I eventually stumbled into a room and shut the door. I walked over to the corner and covered my eyes, hoping this would just all be over soon.

Chapter Three Coming Soon...
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Originality and improvements. : 01/13/2018 1:08:51 amJan 13

Feedback has suggested grammar and atmospheric improvements. Feedback also told me that it was rather similar to Fredbear and Friends: REBOOT. So I am working to make this story as original as I can.
~Riley

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  • SSunny
  • Level 13
  • Journeyman Cake
  • January 12, 2018, 6:53 pm
This is great! Although, I do need to give you some advice, if you don’t mind. To start off, when Jonathan called Riley, I personally think it was unnecessary to say “at 2am in the morning.” If you could have just asked why so early in the morning, 2am is almost pushing the atmosphere the story was already set at. I also noticed you didn’t ident after every line of dialogue, so it appears to look messy and rushed. Also, instead of using apostrophes to quote things, I would still use the common “, not the ‘. Also, when a character is talking in his/her head they commonly italicize the dialogue, instead of quoting it. Also, i noticed that this story is basically the gameplay of Fredbear and Friends: Reboot. It would be much more interestingly if you actually put a story behind it, instead of using the exact same dialogue from the game. I’m not a professional writer, but I do have a lot of advice and tips for the 2nd chapter, if you would like some advice. Just send me a private message and I’ll walk through your story step to step to make it more clear and have proper writing form and a storyline. Again, this was not to be nasty or rude, it was just some advice u thought I could give to you.
Thanks for your feedback! I will take all this information into deep consideration. =)

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