How to be a Noob (Dont take it seriously its a joke)

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avatar ThegoldenLife
Level 1 : New Miner
Hello there reader!

This is the "best" tutorial for becoming a noob any pro (who has forgotten how to be bad at minecraft) would need. I will prefer that before we start, get some soda, crisps and wear a tanktop because is about to get tough... With there being only 6 tips

1) Change your Skin to Alex or Steve (Alex mostly)

Image result for steve and alex

Minecraft beginners aren't actually noobs, dont get me wrong, there are cases where beginners (people who just bought the game) might've watched a tutorial or a Youtuber play in first (some are but we're not saying anything about them). Try to change your skin to a default one as being a 'noob' is another word for being a beginner or newbie. It will help you feel like what a noob sees. (Tbh they see the same thing and its a joke so dont mind). Be Alex, and most beginners dont know how to change skins.

**IMPORTANT, JUST BECAUSE ALEX IS A GIRL AND IM TELLING YOU TO TAKE IT DOESNT MEAN GIRLS ARE NOOBS. EVEN I HAVE EXPERIENCED BEING ALEX AFTER TURNING ON MC FOR THE FIRST TIME (i tried Tlauncher first, but dont EVER use it, i said it because i was a "noob" at that time and didnt know how to change skins. Choose whatever you like :/ #supportmojang**

2) Whenever you create a new world, dont do anything except put in your world name and seed as: "IWUNTDIMUNDZ" or something like that.

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This is useful as it will bring out the inner noob in you. Many beginners, including me, put in seeds like END or DIAMONDSPAWN. To be honest it doesn't work but will be good.

3) Dig straight down:

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Ah yes, a minecraft veteran's nightmare...digging straight down. There is a myth that when you dig straight down, lava seems to be placed underneath you on purpose, thus burning you alive. Always try this tip and im sure even the not-so-famous NOOB GOD will come from his hidden palace to meet you.

4) Be an "Architect":

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The second thing which you need to do after dying from burning is to make the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about dirt, you guessed it, MAKE A DIRT HOUSE, A DART PATHWAY, A DIRT TOILET!!! EVERYTHING SHOULD BE DIRT REEEEEEEEEEEEE.

You might wanna have something like this

5) Watch ClickBait Youtube videos of people claiming to achieve and visit places without mods...and force yourself to think its true

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This is something which all the minecraft newbies do! Go on Youtube and search " I ACHEIVED THIS IS MINECRAFT NO MODS!! or I SAW HEROBRINE NO MODS" and force yourself to think its true and copy it. You can then later enjoy the feeling or being ashamed or feeling stupid when , after following the steps, you find out its not real..

Now that we have covered offline stuff, lets talk about servers..

6) Whenever you join a server, ask "How do i chat?" in texting area...stuff...

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This shows everyone that you are a noob, and then someone will give tell you to shut up OR a nice guy will explain everything to you. Either way, it will show that u are a noob so yeah..

OK i seem to be running out of ideas so this is the last one


This is the best tip for ticking off people in a server and showing that you are a true noob. Whenever you lose or die in server call the person a hacker and spam. Also when you join a server keep spamming "Give me Mod" This will get you banned and you will be isolated as a noob for the rest of your life......

I hope you enjoyed this "real" and "foolproof" article/blog abt how to be a noob. Upvote it so that many others get to waste 3 minutes of their life reading through this >:)
CreditMe, Internet Pictures, Youtubers, Mojang

11/22/2020 9:39 am
Level 6 : Apprentice Modder
I started off in launcher as well........ *IT SUCKS* SERIOUSLY NEVER EVER AGAIN! Now I'm happy because I have my own skin and have a proper minecraft account
11/22/2020 4:55 amhistory
Level 59 : Grandmaster Modder
I'm from PMC Give me OP PLZZZ
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