- 1,003 views, 3 today
10
I've always felt that my humility is my greatest attribute. In fact, I legally changed my middle name to "Humility." Okay, I didn't do that, but wouldn't it have been really good of me if I had? Then I wouldn't have to go around telling people all the time - they'd just see it in my name. Because I'm the humblest, it follows that I don't pursue earthly fame and fortune. But sometimes fame and fortune pursue me. Recently something happened that made me more famous than I had ever dreamed:
Now I don't want to brag too much. Still, I owe it to the masses of PMC to provide some advice on how to handle the enormous amount of pressure that internet fame brings.
1. Giving Advice
You'll find the moment you're in the spotlight, everyone comes to you with their questions. No one had really ever asked you the time of day before, and suddenly you're the person who's supposed to know everything. And the great thing about being famous is that you do know everything and it's your duty to say so. Humbly.
I was just at the bus stop the other day talking to some lady. Side note, when you're famous like me you shouldn't have to take the bus like the other plebs but the limo rental company I talked to didn't seem to know the rules so there I was. Anyway, I was telling her how if she just got herself a screencap software and toaster mic setup she could make her own Minecraft Let's Play series since those are super popular on YouTube and Twitch. (You gotta have a dubstep intro though or the kids won't bother watching but you can just steal those since they all sound the same and artists don't really care as long as you credit them after they get mad at you.) In response she was telling me something about how her husband seemed really distant lately and wondering if he was seeing someone else or just tired of her, and how one of the kids was diagnosed with ADD and she was just exhausted and other unimportant stuff. So it was strange when I told her that I was a PMC contributor at level 2 and she just kind of looked at me like a deer in headlights and wandered off.
The point is: don't give up when people don't accept your advice. Sometimes they won't even ask for it, but they need it and deep down, they know it. When a newbie posts a project to PMC, it is your duty to constructively criticize them and tell them the way you would have made the project better. Trust me, if they are as humble as I am, they will love you for it.
2. Don't Let It Go To Your Head
Luckily this doesn't apply to someone like me, but it's still an important lesson. No one likes a famous person who acts as if they somehow own the world and everyone in it. I mean, famous people do own the world, but no one likes it when they act that way, just like everyone knows the moon landings were faked but we pretend they're real so the moon people don't kill us all.
I was at this McDonalds yesterday morning and this lady in front of me was mad because they'd screwed up her order in some tiny invisible way and she was going on and on. You could see the poor 17-year-old employee's eyes get real big and he didn't know what to do. The lady was making a big fuss and throwing things until finally the manager came out and told her to leave. She just said "Do you know who I am?" And of course no one did. So they threw her out on her big fat butt. Hehehe. Butt.
You're probably glad that lady didn't get away with her tantrum, but in reality she had made a bigger blunder: she wasn't as famous as me. You can't throw tantrums in public places until you're at least a level 2, I should know. I was next in line and I made my order but then realized I'd left my wallet at home. When I told them to let it slide, you know, 'cause I was a star on a Minecraft website, the employees just kind of stared at me like they were aliens who'd never heard English before. Really, I blame the education system. People should just be taught how to treat stars properly. We'd have a lot less public tantrums that way. Well, one thing led to another and I'm not allowed at McDonalds anymore. But I did not get thrown out on my big fat butt. I'll have you know my butt is not very big.
The lesson here is that if I had just pretended not to be famous, maybe I wouldn't be at the doctor's office looking at a sore tailbone right now. Make sure that if you ever detect hostility, or people are unimpressed with your fame, you should probably pretend that everything you do is meaningless. Remember your poor upbringing and hardships. If you lived a cushy life, just make something up. No one bothers to fact check anyway. I mean, for heaven's sake, people believe the earth is round and we let them because they're famous.
3. Flaunting Your Credentials
It's inevitable at some point that you're going to butt heads with someone. Hehehe. Butt heads. Anyway, you'll give perfect, humble advice and they'll react as if you just told them you'd drop kicked their kitten for a 54-yard field goal. Frankly, Dan, it was impressive and you should be proud of me. But that's a story for another blog. This blog is about how to handle fame as a professional. So how do you explain to an un-famous person that they should listen to you?
Recently I was viewing some fan art of some anime show I don't remember which and I decided to leave a comment. You know, so that the artist could improve their work. You'd think they'd be ecstatic at the chance. Unfortunately there are a lot of ungrateful artists out there. All I merely said was that the character wasn't "hot enough." You know, like hot anime girls. I provided some tips on how to make the character hotter. The artist disagreed, and that's when it became important for me to show my credentials: "Listen here," I said, "I'm a level 2 contributor to Planet Minecraft, so I think I know a thing or two about how to make good art." This established the level of expertise on the message board. No longer were we equals who just had differing opinions. I was the expert, they were the amateur.
Would you believe it but this artist was unimpressed! See, just telling people your level of fame doesn't do much good. You have to back it up with your knowledge of the subject. "But keyofw," you're thinking right now because I can read minds. (That's a level 2 perk.) "But keyofw, I don't actually know anything about [insert subject]!" That's because you're not level 2. When you get there you'll see. But be prepared to list your facts when you're challenged. You're famous. Your facts are automatically correct. I responded to the artist with a list of famous animes with hot girls - Frozen, The Land Before Time, Bojack Horseman, and more.
This just made him angrier, but he's not famous so he doesn't understand how to be humble anyway. It's not your job as a famous person to make someone understand. All you are responsible for is spreading the message.
That's All
There's plenty more I could say but I'm sure these three tips will serve you well enough as you go about your life of fame and ease. Stay tuned for the Level 3 tips. That's when you gain the ability to fly.
Now I don't want to brag too much. Still, I owe it to the masses of PMC to provide some advice on how to handle the enormous amount of pressure that internet fame brings.
1. Giving Advice
You'll find the moment you're in the spotlight, everyone comes to you with their questions. No one had really ever asked you the time of day before, and suddenly you're the person who's supposed to know everything. And the great thing about being famous is that you do know everything and it's your duty to say so. Humbly.
I was just at the bus stop the other day talking to some lady. Side note, when you're famous like me you shouldn't have to take the bus like the other plebs but the limo rental company I talked to didn't seem to know the rules so there I was. Anyway, I was telling her how if she just got herself a screencap software and toaster mic setup she could make her own Minecraft Let's Play series since those are super popular on YouTube and Twitch. (You gotta have a dubstep intro though or the kids won't bother watching but you can just steal those since they all sound the same and artists don't really care as long as you credit them after they get mad at you.) In response she was telling me something about how her husband seemed really distant lately and wondering if he was seeing someone else or just tired of her, and how one of the kids was diagnosed with ADD and she was just exhausted and other unimportant stuff. So it was strange when I told her that I was a PMC contributor at level 2 and she just kind of looked at me like a deer in headlights and wandered off.
The point is: don't give up when people don't accept your advice. Sometimes they won't even ask for it, but they need it and deep down, they know it. When a newbie posts a project to PMC, it is your duty to constructively criticize them and tell them the way you would have made the project better. Trust me, if they are as humble as I am, they will love you for it.
2. Don't Let It Go To Your Head
Luckily this doesn't apply to someone like me, but it's still an important lesson. No one likes a famous person who acts as if they somehow own the world and everyone in it. I mean, famous people do own the world, but no one likes it when they act that way, just like everyone knows the moon landings were faked but we pretend they're real so the moon people don't kill us all.
I was at this McDonalds yesterday morning and this lady in front of me was mad because they'd screwed up her order in some tiny invisible way and she was going on and on. You could see the poor 17-year-old employee's eyes get real big and he didn't know what to do. The lady was making a big fuss and throwing things until finally the manager came out and told her to leave. She just said "Do you know who I am?" And of course no one did. So they threw her out on her big fat butt. Hehehe. Butt.
You're probably glad that lady didn't get away with her tantrum, but in reality she had made a bigger blunder: she wasn't as famous as me. You can't throw tantrums in public places until you're at least a level 2, I should know. I was next in line and I made my order but then realized I'd left my wallet at home. When I told them to let it slide, you know, 'cause I was a star on a Minecraft website, the employees just kind of stared at me like they were aliens who'd never heard English before. Really, I blame the education system. People should just be taught how to treat stars properly. We'd have a lot less public tantrums that way. Well, one thing led to another and I'm not allowed at McDonalds anymore. But I did not get thrown out on my big fat butt. I'll have you know my butt is not very big.
The lesson here is that if I had just pretended not to be famous, maybe I wouldn't be at the doctor's office looking at a sore tailbone right now. Make sure that if you ever detect hostility, or people are unimpressed with your fame, you should probably pretend that everything you do is meaningless. Remember your poor upbringing and hardships. If you lived a cushy life, just make something up. No one bothers to fact check anyway. I mean, for heaven's sake, people believe the earth is round and we let them because they're famous.
3. Flaunting Your Credentials
It's inevitable at some point that you're going to butt heads with someone. Hehehe. Butt heads. Anyway, you'll give perfect, humble advice and they'll react as if you just told them you'd drop kicked their kitten for a 54-yard field goal. Frankly, Dan, it was impressive and you should be proud of me. But that's a story for another blog. This blog is about how to handle fame as a professional. So how do you explain to an un-famous person that they should listen to you?
Recently I was viewing some fan art of some anime show I don't remember which and I decided to leave a comment. You know, so that the artist could improve their work. You'd think they'd be ecstatic at the chance. Unfortunately there are a lot of ungrateful artists out there. All I merely said was that the character wasn't "hot enough." You know, like hot anime girls. I provided some tips on how to make the character hotter. The artist disagreed, and that's when it became important for me to show my credentials: "Listen here," I said, "I'm a level 2 contributor to Planet Minecraft, so I think I know a thing or two about how to make good art." This established the level of expertise on the message board. No longer were we equals who just had differing opinions. I was the expert, they were the amateur.
Would you believe it but this artist was unimpressed! See, just telling people your level of fame doesn't do much good. You have to back it up with your knowledge of the subject. "But keyofw," you're thinking right now because I can read minds. (That's a level 2 perk.) "But keyofw, I don't actually know anything about [insert subject]!" That's because you're not level 2. When you get there you'll see. But be prepared to list your facts when you're challenged. You're famous. Your facts are automatically correct. I responded to the artist with a list of famous animes with hot girls - Frozen, The Land Before Time, Bojack Horseman, and more.
This just made him angrier, but he's not famous so he doesn't understand how to be humble anyway. It's not your job as a famous person to make someone understand. All you are responsible for is spreading the message.
That's All
There's plenty more I could say but I'm sure these three tips will serve you well enough as you go about your life of fame and ease. Stay tuned for the Level 3 tips. That's when you gain the ability to fly.
Don't read this
I can't believe I wrote 2000 words on this lame joke that isn't funny.
| Tags |
1 Update Logs
This blog has been ruined : by keyofw 01/26/2018 12:54:39 amJan 26th, 2018
I reached level 3. Please disregard literally everything in it.
tools/tracking
4082073
6
how-to-be-pmc-popular-like-me
PandaWonka
SnappNote
Riseabove089
LiThe1st
StormWatcher
Christ8Pizza
CrystalRuby
BlueBoyBuilds
ObisidianSMP24
The Gamers Club
The Sound Of Music
lisabit
Henry04alcalino
Create an account or sign in to comment.
Maybe you can even reach level 7, like me!
goes to subscribe
sees you are level 3
im shuddering in expectation for your next blogpost... can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind? can you already read my mind?
anyway nice post! i actually audibly laughed instead of just exhaling and commenting 'LMFAO OMFG IM SHOOK'
But seriously, this is a great blog. It's a lame joke, but you pulled off the satire aspect pretty well by actually being different, instead of just saying make a teen skin. You get my diamond.
By the way I'm level 22, so I'm obviously the expert here.