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Disclaimer
This Blog is a satirical parody, and should in no way be taken seriously. This was made for kicks and giggles, and any rules that are snapped in two in this should be followed in reality. Paril and the rest of the Staff are to be respected, so treat them like that pl0x. Thank you, please enjoy, and leave a diamond or a favourite if you did.
Oi, everyone! It's me, Ocean, and I'm here with a guide on how to become successful on PMC! Just follow these instructions, and you'll be on top of the Pop Reel in no time!
1. Make the dankest name you can think of as your username, using lots of capital and lower-case letters, as well as numbers for letters. Names such as xXxFaZeClAn1337xXx, 0P71CH4X0R, P4R1L15L4M3, Xmlg_pro1337_n0sc0pe5Xx, and 5N00PD4WG5W3G should work perfectly.
2. Don't worry about changing your profile picture to something actually worth looking at. Your Steve head makes you look like the dankest Snoop Dog in the whole world! If you want, go find that Five Nights at Freddy's jumpscare GIF that you think is super spoopy and upload it to spoop your subskrubers when they come to your page.
3. You then want to make your first Blog post. Make sure it includes all of your gripes about PMC, advertises your Minecraft server, or whatever else you want to put in there, and is in really hard-to-read text like this. That way, it'looks get on the Pop Reel super quick!
4. You will then need to make a Skin. Make the most brightly-coloured or most noised Skin possible and then upload it with gibberish as the description, also making the text really hard-to-read like this. Heck, you can even steal someone's Skin and post it on your page!
5. Chat is a great place to advertise your stuff. So go ahead and spam every channel in Chat with your server IP. Ignore all Staff telling you to stop; you're getting people to come to your server, and you're going to do it the way you know best! Don't worry if you get banned, you can always go back tomorrow!
6. Sub4Sub and Dia4Dia are also great ways to earn Diamonds and Subscribers on PMC! All you have to do is ask someone to give you a Diamond on a submission if you give them one, and vice versa. Don't worry if people think you're annoying, you're just doing what's best for your page!
7. The Forums are the place post your problems with other members and also just post all kinds of viruses and h4x to get to the top of the PvP boards. If it gets locked, make sure to make another thread with the exact same message. Rinse and repeat!
8. So you've been banned from doing most things on the site. And you're mad. What do you do now? You DDoS the site! That'll really learn 'em for having the audacity to ban you for sure. There's no way they can trace it back to you!
9. Congratulations! You've been completely banned from PlanetMinecraft! Hope you enjoyed!
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1. xD Dank huh? I'll show you dank! L33t33nD0lph1nz! *horns blow massively with Shrek bursting through the wall saying "Oh yeah!"* Yeah... xD
2. Steve Huh? Don't you mean Dank Chewbacca Snoop Dawg? Lol! :P FNAF is so Cringe... :3
3. Hmm, I make blogs and look how I turned out! *smilez* (IHE Reference anyone? :3)
4. Technicolor Dank Vomit? Sign me up!
5. I've been Friendly in chat, so forget that step!
6. Sub me Sub you has been an actual thing, though I rarely sub to anyone unless they're great (Like you! :3).
7. Spem Spem Spem Spem! *Monty Python Reference* "Problem Forum Mods?" I'm literally rolling on the floor laughing from this! (Don't do this, kids!)
8. What do I do if it happens? I'll move to MC Forums! >:3
9. LOL thanks!
Dang, this was absolutely funny! I've seen these joke blogs before, and by gosh they're great (If done right)! To be honest with you, I have an IQ of 139, and I'm not dumb enough to do stupid stuff like this. Although stupid, it's very funny! Keep up the good work mate from Atlantis! ;3
--Eli The Magical Dolphin from Atlantis