The closest thing to mobs speaking in Minecraft is the new grunting sounds for villagers in 1.6. But what if mobs could talk, and not moo, oink, and screech? It would make Minecraft cool, and at the same time, gross. What if you needed pork? Beef? There would be horrifying shrieks of murder. Moving on from block gore, let's talk about the hostile mobs. Creepers would probably say some funny things before sacrificing themselves to kill you tragically.

Player: Derpeh derp, choppin wood, derp
Creeper: Wassssssup?
Player: Aw ****---
Player blew up.

And what about zombie pigmen?

Player: You ugly. *Punches pigman*
Zombie Pigger: I WILL AVENGE YOU, MY BROTHER!!!!!
Player was beat down by Zombie Piggers

Now, moving on to my nemesis; the skelly.

Player: Derpy derp, walking through the forest at daytime, derp. Huh? What's that soun--
Player was shot in the neck.
Skelly: I love how trees give shade.

Skeletons have been doing this to me since beta. Screw them. Now, for the most common monster in the game; Mr Zombertine.

Player: I'm in a grave yard alone. Alone, with nobody to help me in a life threatening situation. I'll just turn my back to the dark cave placed beside here, leaving me defenseless.
Zombie: Sup.
Player ****ed his pants to death.
Zombie: I JUST wanted to say hi. This is why I normally kill humans.