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SSBM 2018: Lapis - A Parody Blog on Shrek!

Lapis is Love, Lapis is Life.

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avatar Peridot XJ9
Level 38 : Artisan Professor
233
Spooky Scary GIF - Spooky Scary Skeletons GIFs
Howdy, y'all! It's me, Eli, back with more orange font than what you can find on a Halloween website! Now, if you've read my blog review on Shrek, you obviously know that I hate this movie to a certain degree, but-

Meme Kill the beast
Woah woah woah! Put down your gem destabilizers! I didn't say that I outright hated the Shrek series! I was going to say that I have a love-hate relationship with the franchise just like how I first initially thought of Steven Universe. The jokes were funny, a few of the characters are likable and sympathetic, but some of the designs threw me off and gave me nightmares.
Everybody Hates Chris, Memes, and 🤖: Everybody Loves aymond<br/><br/> Everybody Hates Chris
Fun fact: Did you know that Shrek was created out of hate instead of love? Now, we all know Katzenburg, the founder of DreamWorks, created this as "unbridled rage" towards Disney, but even most of the animators hated working on this movie as well. During the production of Prince of Egypt, anyone who's animation didn't meet the "perfect" standards were forced to work on this movie, much to their everlasting shame. Why do I bring up these facts? Well, this is exactly how I felt when creating this new "Eli's Parodied Retelling" blog, Lapis.
File:Peridot unbridled-rage.gifTell Moses no Suffer through plagues Let his people go Let his people go
Don't get me wrong! I loved making the script for this movie and gathering the images, but grabbing any Shrek-related images felt like a chore. The amount of pictures for this dank meme oni I had to skim through made me cringe in fear and almost gave me nightmares again. The backgrounds and dank meme images were probably the most painful to retrieve, but regardless, I strangely liked making this blog. Something in my mind wanted me to get this revised parody of a parody out in the world, and weirdly enough, my love for this guilty pleasure movie pushed me forward to where we are today!
Steven Universe - The Kindergarten Kid - Part 3 Steven Universe, Steven Universe Season 4, Steven Universe The Kindergarten Kid, Steven, Peridot, Amethyst, Pearl, Garnet, Corrputed gem, Lapis, Gem, Bubble, Nice Bubble Peri, holy smokes peridot GIF
Unfortunately, Just like my Beauty and the Beast blog, this story going to be split up into multiple chapters in the "Update logs" section, which is located below this blog. This is because the story gets cut off midway through due to a hidden character limit, and until this issue gets fixed (or not, I sent a ticket and so far, nobody gave a care about it), you're just going to have to take it at face value. Now that you know the gist, go ahead and read this crazy Shrek parody and come back when you're finished! I'll be waiting...
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/008/092/e6b.gif
So, did you enjoy the amazing epic adventures of Lapis and the gang? What!? You said it was an awful cringy fanfiction that enforced the Lapidot ship!?
The original "okay guy"
Well, even if you didn't enjoy it, I can still respect whatever opinion you have on it, whether you love it or not. I know this year of Spooky Scary Blog Month wasn't that impressive, but that's because I gave myself too many personal breaks from making these blogs. Maybe next year will be better, but I'm hoping this year's Christmas blog series will top this year of disappointment. Maybe if you're lucky, I'll add an extra Spooky Scary Blog Month candy-flavored goodie in November, just to satisfy your post-Halloween depression. For now, enjoy these memes, and have a safe spoopy fright-filled Halloween, regardless if you trick-or-treat or not. Muahahahahahaha!
Spooky Scary GIF - Spooky Scary Skeletons GIFs
Larpis
Lapis Lazuli  | W... WHAT YEAR IS IT? WHERE ARE THE GEMS THAT DAMAGED MY GEM!? | image tagged in lapis lazuli,memes | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

Spongebob Squarepants Chocolate GIF

Great Sphinx of Giza Great Pyramid of Giza Saqqara Philae Egyptian pyramids Nile sky
I Can Risk My Grade, Who Cares?



Meme man find the fruit
I'm Back From The Inactivity Void


PERIDOT CENA 2girls Brosuke, Senpai, Brosuke Senpai, Baldi's Basics, Comedy, Duo, Dual Commentary, steven universe, rebecca sugar, Peridot, Aquamarine, Baldi, baldi's basics in education and learning, Pearl, let's play, video games peridot GIF
absolutely disgusting, SU and Undertale


steven universe lapis lazuli gif
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8 Update Logs

Chapter 8, You're too Late : 10/27/2018 8:19:13 amOct 27th, 2018

Chapter 8: The Curse is Broken...?

File:Grunty Speaking.gifGruntilda: Hey you two! Stop your mooching!
File:GruntyBroom.gif
Lapis: Huh?
File:The New Crystal Gems 234.png
Fiona: Gruntilda!? The witch who cursed me!?
File:The New Crystal Gems 228.png
File:Grunty Speaking.gifGruntilda: That's right! I'm here to break your curse and get back to my errands or whatever.
File:GruntyFurnace.png
Fiona: Really? That's awesome! Thank you so much!
File:Room For Ruby Peridot welcomes Ruby Navy.jpg
File:Grunty Speaking.gifGruntilda: You're welcome.
File:Gruntilda.png
Lapis: *Whispers to Pumpkin* Dang, she's more dead-panned than me.
File:Alone at Sea 155.png
Pumpkin: *Whispers back* I know, right?

File:Grunty Speaking.gifGruntilda: By night one way, by day ano- Oh, who even cares anymore about the curse. I'm outta here. *Zaps Fiona with her "curse-breaking" wand.
video games n64 GIF
Fiona: *Gasp* It's working! I can feel my humanity slowly returning to me! Aw yeah!! Parties every weekend, baby! Woo!!
reallygaycat:<br/><br/>“ ozziescribbler:<br/><br/>“ Note how she takes a single shape immediately.<br/><br/>So did Peridot literally never before regenerate? She’s a BABY GEM through and through!<br/><br/>”<br/><br/>we saw the same lack of previous forms with lapis too, the “marionette doll”...
*What? Fiona is evolving! Whatever you do, don't press the B button!*
Don't Push the B Button by Dinoyipi
*You idiot! You pressed it. Now she's a Peridot forever. Congrats.*
File:Back to the Kindergarten 026.png
Lapis: *Notices that Fiona was dropped on the ground, but she's still a Peridot* Fiona! Are you okay!?
File:Same Old World 135.png
Fiona: Ugh... Wha... What happened? Am I a dolphin-human hybrid again?
File:Back to the Kindergarten 028.png
Lapis: Er, no. You broke your curse, but you're a Peridot forever.
File:CantGoBack318.png
Fiona: I'm a what...?
🕆♑♒♒♒♒📬📬📬

Lapis: Sorry.
File:CantGoBack279.png
Fiona: I'm a what!?
File:Barn Mates 022.png
Lapis: Dude, calm-
File:Alone at Sea 167.png
Fiona: You maniacs!! You fools! What have you done to me!? I was supposed to be beautiful again, but you darn screwed it up! Darn you! Darn you all to heck!!
File:Back to the Kindergarten 173.png
Excalibur: *In the crowd somewhere saying this word at the exact same time Fiona does* Fools!
Excalibur Fool GIF - Excalibur Fool SoulEater GIFs
Lapis: But you are-
File:CantGoBack280.png
Fiona: I don't even care anymore! Is this what I get for all my hard work... For 30 darn years!? Just shame and regret!? Just... screw this noise. My life is ruined...
File:Back to the Kindergarten 171.png
Lapis: But Fiona... You are beautiful, Peridot or not.
File:Same Old World 094.png
Fiona: But what about everyone else, huh!? Does anyone else love me for who I am!?
File:Back to the Kindergarten 172.png
Lapis: Well, audience, what do you think? *Whispers to fourth wall* This includes, PMC-ers, too!
File:Same Old World 038.png
Audience: *Gives nothing but honest positive comments and thumbs ups*
season 6 episode 3 GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants
Fiona: So... they do love me?
File:Back to the Kindergarten 189.png
Lapis: Heck yeah! And they're even being honest!
File:Alone at Sea 016.png
Fiona: *Cries with tears of joy* Oh, Lappy! You're the best!
File:Barn Mates 251.png
Lapis: Thanks. You too, my little Peri-
lapis, lapidot, and peridot image
Fiona: *Moans loudly in regret from that permanent reminder that she is a Peridot forever*



*Woo! Cue the credits! I'm finally done with this script!*

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Comments : 32

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  • Hay-Howdy-Hay
  • Level 15
  • Journeyman Unicorn
  • December 16, 2018, 8:56 am
tbrh, this is me after a mile run at school,,
[img=Steven Universe - The Kindergarten Kid - Part 3 Steven Universe, Steven Universe Season 4, Steven Universe The Kindergarten Kid, Steven, Peridot, Amethyst, Pearl, Garnet, Corrputed gem, Lapis, Gem, Bubble, Nice Bubble Peri, holy smokes peridot GIF]thumbs.gfycat.com/DearUnawareBoutu-max-1mb.gif[/img]

  • Peridot XJ9
  • Level 38
  • Artisan Professor
  • December 30, 2018, 11:27 pm
Yup, I can see that being me as well. :P
why did you press the B button?!?!?!?
  • Peridot XJ9
  • Level 38
  • Artisan Professor
  • November 6, 2018, 2:47 pm
I don't know! I had to do it to progress the story! ;~;
  • BrochachoYT
  • Level 6
  • Apprentice Skinner
  • November 2, 2018, 1:23 pm
this is planet minecraft
  • Peridot XJ9
  • Level 38
  • Artisan Professor
  • November 2, 2018, 1:37 pm
*Facepalm* If I had a nickel every time I heard this, I'd be able to buy Microsoft and all of it's properties.

For Pete's sake, Minecraft is about creativity, and most posts nowadays are about creative ideas, Minecraft or not. If you want Minecraft posts, there's some old blogs of mine you would love to check out. If not, there are plenty of Minecraft blogs and forums out there you can read so then you don't comment stuff like this onto creative blogs like this. I'm not trying to be a grumpy argumentative commenter here, but I'm just trying to bring my mature personal enlightening thoughts onto the issue like what most ranters miss nowadays. That will be all. :3
Id have only $7 :(
  • Peridot XJ9
  • Level 38
  • Artisan Professor
  • November 6, 2018, 2:46 pm
Well, it's an exaggeration. I probably wouldn't have that much money to buy Microsoft. I'd probably only have enough to buy a few three-packs of Bakugan. :P
Well i guess it is better than buying microsoft
  • Peridot XJ9
  • Level 38
  • Artisan Professor
  • December 7, 2018, 8:37 pm
Yeah, I mean, there's not much you can do with Microsoft besides correctly remaking Banjo Kazooie/Conker's Bad Fur Day/Any Rareware property or make Minecraft updates great again. At least with Bakugan three-packs, you get a game and a few Bakugan buddies you can stick on your desk for fun! Now that's definitely worth the cash. :3
  • TheSilentWind
  • Level 42
  • Master Enderdragon
  • November 4, 2018, 12:26 pm
I wholeheartedly agree with you. Minecraft is about creativity and creating your wildest dreams. :)
  • Peridot XJ9
  • Level 38
  • Artisan Professor
  • November 4, 2018, 12:42 pm
Thanks! You most definitely got that right! :D
yeet
  • Peridot XJ9
  • Level 38
  • Artisan Professor
  • October 28, 2018, 2:23 pm
Yeet indeed. x3
  • DrownedPound
  • Level 8
  • Apprentice Pokemon
  • October 27, 2018, 11:33 pm
i think...
i think...
I THINK...
I THINK...
u need official music for this amazing blog!
*plays Dance Hall Days on radio*
wait wrong vibe
*switches to New Slang*
better
  • Peridot XJ9
  • Level 38
  • Artisan Professor
  • October 27, 2018, 11:36 pm
Thanks! I wish I had the ability to make cool songs like the Living Tombstone could... Then I could make the best Lapis soundtrack ever! :3
someBODY ONCE TOLD ME
YOU NEED A DIAMOND FROM ME
  • Peridot XJ9
  • Level 38
  • Artisan Professor
  • October 27, 2018, 7:00 pm
ThAnKs FoR tHe ShArPeSt DiAmOnD iN tHe ShEd!
( ; UwU )
we must get a s e q u e l to this
  • Peridot XJ9
  • Level 38
  • Artisan Professor
  • October 27, 2018, 11:34 pm
I was actually thinking of making a sequel to this if it gets popular enough to warrant one. :3
it's
already
popreel'd
you must
  • Peridot XJ9
  • Level 38
  • Artisan Professor
  • October 28, 2018, 12:02 am
...There is no rest for Eli the Peridot, is there?
  • kitt-chan
  • Level 27
  • Expert Dragonborn
  • November 1, 2018, 5:22 pm
OH MAH GOD

  • Peridot XJ9
  • Level 38
  • Artisan Professor
  • November 1, 2018, 7:53 pm
What? :O
  • kitt-chan
  • Level 27
  • Expert Dragonborn
  • November 2, 2018, 2:57 am
i love the story, no emergency here
  • Peridot XJ9
  • Level 38
  • Artisan Professor
  • November 2, 2018, 9:59 pm
Oh. Well thanks for the compliment, then! :D
  • Woodstockk
  • Level 32
  • Artisan Magical Girl
  • October 27, 2018, 6:28 pm
i need an adult
  • DrownedPound
  • Level 8
  • Apprentice Pokemon
  • October 27, 2018, 11:34 pm
I shall be an adult in 4 years, soooo...

  • Woodstockk
  • Level 32
  • Artisan Magical Girl
  • October 28, 2018, 12:28 am
I became an adult 8ish months ago
  • Peridot XJ9
  • Level 38
  • Artisan Professor
  • October 28, 2018, 4:01 am
Well, I guess we're adult buddies, then! xD
  • Peridot XJ9
  • Level 38
  • Artisan Professor
  • October 27, 2018, 11:38 pm
Some day you'll be one... Some day. :P
  • Peridot XJ9
  • Level 38
  • Artisan Professor
  • October 27, 2018, 7:02 pm
Well, I became an adult (18 years old) not too long ago, so...

There there. We'll make it through this mess together. *Pats Woodstockk's Head*

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