Published Jun 19th, 2022, 6/19/22 10:35 am
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| ♫ 1. Fall Forest 2. Paper Souls 3. Dreamy Dreams 4. Fairytale but Nightmare 5. a ghost 6. Shelter from the Rain 7. Feels Like 8. Thousands of Prayers 9. Promises 10. Hold On 11/12. You stood where I stay 13. Deep Death 14. Infected 15. Mary *** |
| 06/19/2022 |
in case i die today. so not perfect, so unfinished.
| Support me on Bandcamp | Listen on Spotify | Visit website for lyrics |
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| neveroctober.bandcamp.com | spotify.com/artist/neveroctober | neveroctober.com |
Available on other platforms too
Hello everyone! It is time to announce my second music album lilac basement.
I'm explaining every detail about songs, title and cover down below.
If you're interested, please stay and enjoy
♡
Detailed story of the Album title and cover
***
Why lilac?
When it was blooming I went out to smell it every day, that's when I decided to release an album.
Also it represents the lilac color creating a dreamy lilac room vibe.
basement - because we spent a lot of time there
and it also gives you a vibe of a band playing somewhere in the basement making their demos,
some of my recordings are live versions may sound like they were recorded in the basement,
therefore not studio quality.
The girl on the photo, my grandmother's sister in her youth.
The photo is old, black and white, but I gave it lilac colors.
The top picture of lilac is located in such a way that it is like a flowing tear
about the best years of our youth seem to be leaving because of the war, remaining in past,
like an old colorless photo, because that’s how gray and empty I feel this time.
On the same side of the tear, the inscription "stop war" is barely visible.
The upper right part has carelessly cut yellowish pieces of a photo of lilac,
representing the land and borders as on the map.
The general background on the right side has a brick wall with a crack
and small curls are visible, personifying smoke.
On the cover you can also find the inscriptions
"in case i die today"
showing why I want to make this release
and "so not perfect, so unfinished"
which demonstrates my eternal pursuit of perfection and ideality in my work, but now it is not perfect at all.
Also the phrase indicates that it is not finished, implying that the quality will not be studio quality
and also showing the hope that I plan to finish it and bring it to a better quality if I survive.
***
How was it from my perspective?I'd like to start with the reason I decided to make a release right now
and why I didn't do it these 2 years since the first album dropped.
Unfortunately, this is all about my insecurity and the fact that I didn't really appreciate the songs already as they are.
I needed to create the best music for them, record them with the best stuff I could afford
and make everything just perfect.
I failed so I was distracting myself with other projects.
I continued writing songs, however, they never really got far from being recorded by my phone so I won't forget them.
It was May when I decided I may die anytime and tomorrow is not promised.
That's when I started to search for any recorded song I could show to the world.
As you know I no longer have my PC with all the files including music.
I searched for demos everywhere I could, 'cause I send some to my friends.
That's how this album started to come together.
Some songs are new, some of them are old.
This isn't everything I have, but at least something.
I just want to leave something special after me.
Now I don't care that some songs were recorded with my phone with no editing.
There is something special in that.
1. Fall Forest
lyrics: https://neveroctober.com/#fall_forest
This is the last song I wrote till now. And I decided to start an album with it.
It shows the atmosphere of November forest. Beautiful but so delicate.
It was created for the person I love most,
when he left town and I was missing him so much.
I included some of our special memories and things in it.
It represents the whole magical and peaceful feeling between us
also showing how safe and comfortable I can feel now, after being "cut down".
I compare my feelings and love with Ethereal Forest in my heart.
As it was ruined and cut down before, however he came and replanted the trees in my forest,
meaning showed me how to love again.
2. Paper Souls
lyrics: https://neveroctober.com/#paper_souls
This song was created 2 years ago in September.
I wrote it for my very best friend at the day of his birthday
so I gave it to him as a gift.
He struggles a lot with his dreams and abilities to make them come true.
I wanted to show him how much I support everything he do
and how much I care about our friendship.
I wish him the best and hope he won't experience the pain he had in the past anymore,
the one that broke him a lot and made his heart closed for everyone.
Paper Souls are representing how fragile and vulnerable our souls are.
I wish his soul and dreams find home soon.
3. Dreamy Dreams
lyrics: https://neveroctober.com/#dreamy_dreams
Song is about despair. Two people are trying to fall asleep for the last time
'cause they decided to end their lives. Having too many scars.
The girl is dreaming about happy life up in Heaven
hoping her soul won't die after her body death.
4. Fairytale but Nightmare
lyrics: https://neveroctober.com/#fairytale_but_nightmare
This song is about depression and searching for help.
The girl is trying to explain how she feels but nobody understands.
She can't fall asleep because of crying every night.
Sleep in this song means peaceful and calm state of her mind she can't find.
So she can't sleep.
5. a ghost
lyrics: https://neveroctober.com/#a_ghost
Fun fact: I do actually hate this song so much.
Probably because of how it makes me feel.
I wrote it to my very ex best friend Mary.
Our friendship ended at school years and years ago.
However, it seems like I still can't let it go.
She hurt me enough back then to prevent me from being friends with girls till these days.
It ruined me so much, that I express myself in this song as friendless at all.
6. Shelter from the Rain
lyrics: https://neveroctober.com/#shelter_from_the_rain
Four years ago I met a man who seemed extremely wise and mature.
He came into my life right at the moment I needed someone to help me,
heal me and teach me how to handle everything.
The rain in this song is represented as problems and difficulties of my life.
So I needed him to give me a shelter.
I really wanted to run away from everything with him.
However, now it doesn't seem so right, especially after we painfully broke up.
This song is making me so sad, 'cause I wrote it when I was madly in love with him,
romantizing everything, and now it's all gone and different.
He's not a bad person at all. Just isn't the one for me.
7. Feels Like
lyrics: https://neveroctober.com/#feels_like
The song of a very young me.
Probably around 17-19 years old.
I don't see it as a serious song now.
I had a crash on the guy who played guitar in my band back then.
So I wrote about the feelings and pain I felt as he was already taken by another girl.
Now it makes me smile, remembering this story, so I can just call this song
a romantic teenage dream :D
8. Thousands of Prayers
This is an instrumental part of an old song.
Unfortunately, all I could find, since my files were taken from me.
I can't say much about it yet. I hope I can finish it one day 'cause it really means a lot to me.
9. Promises
lyrics: https://neveroctober.com/#promises
The song I was scared to show for years....
I wrote it to my grandmother who passed away when I was 9.
Believe it or now, I still can't let it go.
Can someone actually let go the death of the ones you love so much?
I was young when I wrote this song.
I wanted to release it but I hated myself for not making it a perfect masterpiece.
Now I'm releasing a live demo of it, well look how ironic is that :)
10. Hold On
lyrics: https://neveroctober.com/#hold_on
This song is about support.
There was a time in my life when I created some songs about suicide,
well maybe a lot of them... to help people survive the darkest periods
to support them and show them they are not alone
and taking their own lives isn't an option.
Deep down I guess I was telling those words to myself too.
In this song I'm trying to save a person or even myself from suicide.
Showing that life is worth living
and you don't have to hide from the ones who really wanna help you get through this times.
Nobody would feel better if you stop living.
11/12. You stood where I stay
lyrics: https://neveroctober.com/#you_stood_where_i_stay
The album contains two versions of the song.
Both of them are live recorded using my phone.
An old song from my past, about repentance and God.
It shows the path of human from emptiness to finding true self.
First verse showing some people who are trying to make bad and evil things,
thinking if they pray then it's like nothing ever happened.
Some of them are actually hating themselves for being bad, but not knowing how to change.
Don’t look back
You stood where I stay
Is about generations and moving on.
We all have the same problems after all.
We are taking each other's places in some way.
Some of us moved on, some of us are still growing up to take this place and move on too.
We burn under the sun
Waiting for God to send us rain
And clean ourselves
Burning under the sun is representing the fact that evil is dying under the light.
And people wait for blessed rain as a symbol of innocence and washing away all the evil things we do.
No matter what you do and how bad you can be, God loves you
and still sends this rain to help you repent and accept yourself as you are.
13. Deep Death
lyrics: https://neveroctober.com/#deep_death
Another life-saving song.
It is about a boy who is suffering from depression
and he's about to kill himself.
Deep Death is not an actual death but the state of your mind
when you're so depressed and exhausted from life, that you are kinda dead inside.
And I am with this boy in his head in this Deep Death.
Sometimes it may look like there is no hope for people in that condition
However I'm showing support in this song to a boy.
I can relate to every pain he felt, I'm showing that his life is worth living,
trying to calm down his desire to be gone for good.
It's like being on the edge between life and death.
Some people were mean to him and it caused this feeling of being useless and unworthy.
Your heart’s still breathing
But you don’t wanna come back
I used Breathing heart instead of beating heart to show that his heart is not just only alive but it breathes
as blooming or shining with love.
Although, this is not enough for him to come back from this state.
Because the earth is full of liars and betrayers, who was letting him down all his life.
It may seems like that but this is not true.
Come here to me from the dark
I know who you really are
I'm trying to call him to come with me and go back to life.
14. Infected
Instrumental version I wrote a couple of years ago.
This is just a part of it.
It makes me feel like in the middle of a horror movie where everyone was infected.
I don''t have much to say about it for now, as it's not finished at all.
15. Mary
lyrics: https://neveroctober.com/#mary
The last song on the album.
It is under number 15 for a reason.
As you may notice its title is the name of my ex best friend,
we were talking about in "a ghost" song.
I actually love this song for its darkness and suffering.
It is about a girl who killed or nearly killed herself.
She was questioning everything in her life.
And lost the reason to live.
‘Cause she is alright
Living so many years of suffering
She left it behind
Clearly she was alright only for others but not truly alright.
Cause she suffered a lot from every problem she experienced.
And she left it behind - meaning she decided to let it all go by taking her own life,
despite the fact that she had so many reasons to live.
She won’t see a new sunrise
For her we’re all dead
She died, so she won't experience another day
however we're all dead because she lost her faith in human beings
so even if she killed herself, she's in a better place but we are here considered dead without humanity.
Thank you for making it till the end.
The one who needed to understand, understood.
I love you.
♡
©2022 neveroctober
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As with your first album I'm sure this one will be very heartfelt, imperfect and unfinished as it might be.
I hope a peace will come to Ukraine, and that you will see every "tomorrow"!