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[Nominated for Best Story] The Curious Enigma of the Quirky Egg-Man (LOST R3)

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avatar Punkamoar
Retired Moderator
Level 51 : Grandmaster Gent
539
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(Warning, contains graphic depictions of the frying of an egg. Not for Vegans or faint-of-heart)

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"WAAAAAAAAAAA"



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It was after this traumatic incident, that a good friend stumbled upon another, which led to an interchange.

"Hello, have you seen my friend, The Quirky Egg-Man?"

"No, indeed I have not. I was about to ask you the same thing, indeed. Have you checked by Fluffy Nest-land?"

"No, in fact I did not. Shall we become sleuths, to find what has become of our friend?"

"Yes, indeed to goodness, we shall!"

-

The duo soon found more friends interested in the welfare of the Quirky Egg-Man. Soon enough, they came across something that led to something. Unfortunately for the Quirky Egg-Man, it was his skin.

Shock was ten-fold in the bevy of sleuths, for the cracking of eggs was an ignoble offence. The remains of the Quirky Egg-man were strewn around a smoking skillet, the only clue within sight.


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There were many people gathered because of the arid smell, perpetrated by the eggish skillet. Each one being entirely capable of such a tasty crime. The grouping of sleuths become disbanded, disparaging even the most trusted of allies. Thinking the best way of doing such a feat would be to smell each suspects' breath.

-

This turned out to be such a bad idea, a mixture of bad hygiene and halitosis causing many noses ableed. When all with an eggish aroma had been corralled, the friends of the Quirky Egg-Man had thought they almost cracked the case open, much like the Egg-Man himself.


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A sullen party soon came forward, guilt shining though eyes and mouth. Pouring out a confession, and his entire heart upon those listening, he detailed a horrific account of hunger and weakness.

"Minding my own business, my stomach gave a lurch, and discovered it was empty. Fearing permanent damage, I found the Quirky Egg-Man rolling through Fluffy Nest-Land. Weakness and hunger tore through any kind of bond with the poor soul, and I cracked him. Scrambling him right there, I ate.

Directly after sanctioning my hunger, a terrible wave of pity, or flatuence, swept over me. I felt disgusting. It ate my brain, until I finally came before I had no brain left."

-

You could have cut the tension with a fluffy marshmallow. When finally, a small but dastardly crowd-member shouted:

"Lets toast 'im!"


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The funeral procession walked through the fluffy terrain, calling dirges and moans for their friend, the Quirky Egg-Man. Finally reaching the pre-destined hole, they gently placed the shell of their old friend inside. Tears flowed like spouts out of the eyes of any and all that saw.

-

They buried a friend.



This week, I'm against Candlebor.
CreditChron, planetblox2000, SharkBoi
Tags

16 replies

1
06/03/2015 12:22 pm
Level 46 : Master Artist
JeTSpice
Thar be some fine ole' English.
1
06/02/2015 5:20 pm
Level 31 : Artisan Pixel Puncher
alan
frist!
1
06/02/2015 9:00 pm
Level 51 : Grandmaster Gent
Punkamoar
um
1
06/02/2015 3:21 pm
Level 63 : High Grandmaster Pokemon
Iaeyan_Elyuex
But... nowhere in the nursery rhyme does it say he's an egg!
1
06/02/2015 3:33 pm
Level 51 : Grandmaster Gent
Punkamoar
Goodness, you've got me there
1
06/02/2015 8:17 pm
Level 63 : High Grandmaster Pokemon
Iaeyan_Elyuex
I did some research. Humpty Dumpty was originally a cannon. That's why the king's army is mentioned. It was about a civil war in England.
1
06/02/2015 9:00 pm
Level 51 : Grandmaster Gent
Punkamoar
Probably the War of the Roses, or the other one later on. I can't keep them apart
1
06/02/2015 1:54 am
Level 45 : Master Sweetheart
Zatharel
wat.
1
06/02/2015 2:04 am
Level 51 : Grandmaster Gent
Punkamoar
I was wanting to stay away from stereotypes
1
06/02/2015 2:08 am
Level 45 : Master Sweetheart
Zatharel
._.
go reply to my question
1
06/01/2015 11:30 pm
Level 39 : Artisan Botanist
candle_
ftr quirky egg man is possibly my favorite character name ever
1
06/02/2015 12:43 am
Level 51 : Grandmaster Gent
Punkamoar
Yeah boyy
1
06/01/2015 11:25 pm
Level 44 : Master Cowboy
Chron
um k
1
06/02/2015 12:42 am
Level 51 : Grandmaster Gent
Punkamoar
I mu
1
06/02/2015 1:03 am
Level 44 : Master Cowboy
Chron
now that i think about it dont ever do anything like this again pls
1
06/02/2015 1:06 am
Level 51 : Grandmaster Gent
Punkamoar
will your brain explode?

i think your brain explode

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