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The Day I Was Almost Killed By Budget Cuts

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avatar Imm0rt41
Level 39 : Artisan Explorer
75
I pushed open the movie theater doors and walked out into the rather warm air. It was summer, and I had just finished watching The Avengers. I looked at my watch. It was 11 pm. I had entered at 8 pm. "Holy crap, that was THREE HOURS," I exclaimed to myself. Kinda bummed me out too, cause I had wanted to go get some food. I decided to still go and check if any food places were still open. I walked over to my bike, got on, and rode off.
I decided to check by Five Guys restaurant because I had seen the lights on from a distance. As I got closer though, I noticed no cars and two guys standing outside, laughing and being 11 at night scary. I decided to take the right turn down the side walk instead of the left turn to the unknown men.
Now, as I rode down the sidewalk bordering Friendly Center, I was feeling kind of pumped. I had watched an epic movie, stayed up late, narrowly avoided danger, and failed to munch on something tasty. This feeling continued as I kept steady my aim for my house. I decided to ride no hands, which is something I already did every day when riding my bike, but it had never felt so awesome.

Then, it appeared. It was the spot of the sidewalk that still existed from when the city had fixed the sidewalk. There was a small hole that they had never filled with cement, and instead opted to fill with gravel, causing a foot and a half of bumpy riding and a half inch tall bump on both sides. I rode over this hole every day, never had problems with it, yet still always made sure to ride with hands on the handlebars when going over it to keep myself steady. And once again, I made sure to hold the handlebars, like normal.
I hit the hole, like normal.
I dropped, like normal.
I felt a small bump, like normal.
Then my front tire came off, entirely not like normal.
The front part of the bike dropped, unsupported by the now missing tire. It hit the cement, slightly halting its passage through space, while the back continued along its merry way to the right side of the front of the bike. Then it toppled. I hit the ground, still holding onto the bike, while the bike went up and over me, temporarily making me the first man in the world to ride a back upside down. The bike landed on the other side of me, at which point I let it go, where it slid a few inches. I laid there for about 3 seconds, dazed and confused, hearing cars laughingly honk their horns at me as they went by. But I hardly noticed it, all I could think about was the budget cuts.


The budget cuts, that nearly killed me.
CreditThis story was originally written for my blog at http://thebasementnerd.blogspot.com/. Follow me if you like my stuff!
Tags

1
09/21/2012 2:33 pm
Level 25 : Expert Network
PennyLane
Dang, you nearly get killed by stuff a lot.
1
06/25/2012 12:27 pm
Level 5 : Apprentice Engineer
derfwert
So how did budget cuts almost kill you? Seems like a loose tire did more so...
1
05/29/2012 7:58 pm
Level 70 : Legendary Alien
nongfu
Lol. Moderators... Read Credit.. "This story was originally written for my blog at thebasementnerd.blogspot.com/. Follow me if you like my stuff!" If the moderators take down things, they have to read the credit to accuse someone of stealing. Even though this was accused of having inappropriate language, still. You get my point.
1
05/28/2012 3:41 pm
Level 32 : Artisan Taco
FoxOfDoom
Temporarily disabled the submission. Changes are required. Reason: Inappropriate
Please, remove profanity. Also, this will be considered spam if you're copying/pasting the submission's body.
Submission Rules
1
05/28/2012 3:46 pm
Level 39 : Artisan Explorer
Imm0rt41
doesnt anyone read the credits? this was copied out of my blog, and is my original story.

anyways, i fixed the cussing, ill fix it in my other blogs as well

EDIT: ok, i never HAVE actually posted cuss words in my others, thought I had in some of them. i submitted this for review and fixed everything
1
05/28/2012 3:38 pm
Level 34 : Artisan Blockhead
danianrobbo
i don't get why it is funny and you put back instead of bike
1
05/28/2012 3:43 pm
Level 39 : Artisan Explorer
Imm0rt41
meaning the back of the back. however the second time i said 'back' WAS an accident, meant to say bike
1
05/28/2012 3:37 pm
Level 42 : Master Fox
Fokkusu
Title is misleading, story looks copied due to formatting, including swearing in OP and some comments as well.
1
05/28/2012 2:47 pm
Level 58 : Grandmaster Dragonborn
1UPMiner
Whats next? "the day some dust almost killed me"
1
05/28/2012 2:49 pm
Level 39 : Artisan Explorer
Imm0rt41
only if it nearly does, lol
1
05/28/2012 12:02 pm
Level 27 : Expert Ninja
mcninja
so every single thing you blog about is titled: The day (fill in the blank) almost killed me. stop posting lies and troll blogs.
1
05/28/2012 3:31 pm
Level 15 : Journeyman Archer
-Hawk-
If you don't like it, don't read it. Retards these days...
1
05/28/2012 3:30 pm
Level 24 : Expert Explorer
Pownage
Technically it is not lying, it is a story. Do you not understand the difference between the two?

And no it isn't a troll blog, it is a simple story meant for laughs, while trolling is meant to piss people off. Probably don't understand the difference between those two also.

I think somebody is jelly because they can't get any of their blogs on teh popular reel.
1
05/28/2012 2:48 pm
Level 39 : Artisan Explorer
Imm0rt41
no, my latest two blogs are, if you cared to give a shit about the lies you spew. also, these are not lies, both of the 'almost died' blogs are entirely true in details, except for where i say "all i could think about was blah blah blah"
1
05/28/2012 11:48 am
Level 19 : Journeyman Enderdragon
delet_this
Oh... my... God....! This is the scariest thing I have ever read! xD Sooo intense!
1
05/28/2012 11:43 am
Level 36 : Artisan Network
Bethamez
Those damn nerf darts...always out to get people
1
05/28/2012 2:48 pm
Level 39 : Artisan Explorer
Imm0rt41
this ones about bad city construction, lol
1
05/28/2012 10:23 am
Level 23 : Expert Archer
JSproductions
So you almost die once a week?
1
05/28/2012 8:57 am
Level 20 : Expert Miner
Nymus
Why is the text with the copy paste format - white background?
1
05/28/2012 2:48 pm
Level 39 : Artisan Explorer
Imm0rt41
copied from my blog, says so in the credits
1
05/28/2012 8:25 am
Level 46 : Master Pyro
stanyoyoyo
Are you bad luck brian or something? because it seems everything wants to kill you, bugdet cuts AND nerf bullets :P
1
05/28/2012 2:52 pm
Level 39 : Artisan Explorer
Imm0rt41
i just did the "nearly killed me" thing again cause it seemed so popular the first time, lol
1
05/28/2012 8:21 am
Level 15 : Journeyman Archer
-Hawk-
LMFAOOOOO, "temporally making me the 1st man to ride a bike upside down" that made me laugh. Also buy a car and you wont have this kinda issue.
1
05/28/2012 2:54 pm
Level 39 : Artisan Explorer
Imm0rt41
cant drive, and i like riding bikes better anyways
1
05/28/2012 6:43 am
Level 22 : Expert Nerd
skunkapunk
That was funny.
1
05/28/2012 1:24 am
Level 35 : Artisan Dragon
Clue
Well, this is false, as you where nowhere near death, as long as you rode a helmet.
1
05/28/2012 2:28 am
Level 39 : Artisan Explorer
Imm0rt41
and we hit the core of the problem, lol

i wasnt
1
05/28/2012 2:34 am
Level 35 : Artisan Dragon
Clue
Well, you should.
1
05/28/2012 12:01 am
Level 30 : Artisan Goblin
Ghostise
HAWHAHA Brilliant, are you ok?
1
05/28/2012 12:12 am
Level 39 : Artisan Explorer
Imm0rt41
just fine, my sexy rolling action saved me
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