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The Hill by BriannaFireStar

The Hill by BriannaFireStar

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avatar MoondustBri
Level 47 : Master Sweetheart
677
The Hill

I close me eyes and absorb everything around me. The flowers swaying in the wind, the sound of scraping of leaves against my feet. I continued walking, unaware of my surroundings and fell into a hole. My hands touched a rough surface and I felt pain in my wrist. I continued with my journey and ran into a spiky, painfull, stiff object. I felt around the object and my hands reached something round and soft. I lifted the item into my hand and inspected it. I squeezed it, "soft", I thought to myself. I pressed the object up to my ear but no sound emitted. I held the object up to my nose and smelled sweet and mouth-watering smell. "Good enough information about this object", I said as I tossed the small object into my mouth. "I shall call these berries", I stated. The taste was overwelming as I swallowed it whole. I felt around the spiky object in search for more berries only to feel unbearable pain in my hands. I soon gave up on hope and continued walking. I bumped into another object and raised my hands up to it. It felt rough, spiky, and hard. I felt all around it only to realize with the information collected, it was a tree. I set down and leaned against it. I swallowed a gulp of air, smelling like lilac and twigs, and breathed out. I listened to the howling of wolves and the chirping of birds. I was begining to get cold, but that didn't stop my adventure. I stood up and took off running. I wasn't afraid to bump into anything so I kept my eyes shut and gave it my all. I leaped into the air and frantically swung my arms around, preparing for impact. I soon came in contact with something cold and smooth. I raised my hand up to my mouth and licked the solution. "Water", I thought to myself. I swung my arms forward and kicked my legs until I reached land. I walked around for a few more hours and encountered a wierd texture touching my legs. I reach down and grabbed the objects in a bunch. I tapped the top, it felt fuzzy, and I touched the bottom, it was skinny. I reached for the skinny item only to find out something was protruding from it. It was soft and thin. I felt around it and discovered that some of it was round. I held it up to my nose and smelled it. It had a sweet scent. I picked up another object nearby and smelled it. It smelled bitter but sweet. I picked up one more object and it was a soft lilac scent. I thought to myself, "Since this smells good, I should be able to eat it." I tossed all three objects into my mouth and chewed slowly. Only to discover they were sour and bitter. I spit them out and thought to myself, "Evil, little, bad-tasting, object!" I ran back to the liquid and drank it. The liquid deluted some of the taste. I began walking up a steap terrain. I kept walking, it seemed this steep terrain would never end. It finally got smooth. I crouched down and felt the ground below me. I smelled a forest as I grabbed a fist full of grass and smelled it.
Then, I spoke,"Hill."

If you guys can give me some advice on my story that would be great because i'm currently thinking on writing some books. Thanks! c:

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Do you use an app to put your stories on?
  • MoondustBri
  • Level 47
  • Master Sweetheart
  • April 13, 2015, 6:57 pm
Yes, Wattpad. c:
Omg I have one too  Whats your name?
I Love wattpad, its my favorite app on my phone xD
  • MoondustBri
  • Level 47
  • Master Sweetheart
  • April 13, 2015, 7:20 pm
I dont remember, xD, but you can try to find me by a title of one of my stories I published called,"The goddess of war"
c;
I can't find you, there's three books that are named 'The goddess of war' but if you can find me, and possibly message me, I can follow you. cx my name is ChobitsTheKitten
  • MoondustBri
  • Level 47
  • Master Sweetheart
  • April 14, 2015, 11:27 am
Okay, if you want to check again, its the book with the cover of a anime girl with brown hair and a pink dress. c:
Okay Lemme See
Is it a Black Butler Fan fic?
  • MoondustBri
  • Level 47
  • Master Sweetheart
  • April 14, 2015, 3:40 pm
yes, c:
  • Shokonetsu
  • Level 4
  • Apprentice Engineer
  • April 2, 2015, 8:30 pm
You're going to need a lot more experience if you want to write a book, First of all, you would need an attention grabber as an introduction, or a hook as I call it. Details and imagery was executed with perfection, but the story lacks a goal, an aim, a plot, so you might want to add something interesting into it like a plot twist or a long term or short term goal that the character set. If you need more help or advice, feel free to message me and I'll advise you to the best of my ability.
  • MoondustBri
  • Level 47
  • Master Sweetheart
  • April 13, 2015, 6:58 pm
Thanks for the constructive critisism. c:
  • FishyDory
  • Level 1
  • New Crafter
  • April 2, 2015, 2:36 pm
I hope you don't mind, but I'm using this story for my library. I gave full credit to you :)
  • MoondustBri
  • Level 47
  • Master Sweetheart
  • April 2, 2015, 2:37 pm
Please send me link. c:
  • FishyDory
  • Level 1
  • New Crafter
  • May 29, 2015, 12:32 pm
Okay, I'll send you the link, the website is almost done :D
  • MoondustBri
  • Level 47
  • Master Sweetheart
  • May 30, 2015, 6:40 am
Okay! Thanks for keeping your word C:
  • FishyDory
  • Level 1
  • New Crafter
  • July 24, 2015, 10:58 am
I'm very sorry about the link. I've been trying to make the website, but i'm having lots of promblems. But if you'd like, the actual library is on Minecraft. It's on Craft Gasm Creative. The warps arn't working right now, but when they work again, the warp is:

/warp gold

For now, I don't have a website. I'm very sorry. I'll do my best to finish the website and send you the link.
~Dory
This is amazing!! Absoltely beautiful imagrey!
  • MoondustBri
  • Level 47
  • Master Sweetheart
  • April 1, 2015, 9:36 am
Thank youuu! c:
Your welcome ^^
Awesome! It has good details on where the settings were and what the things tasted like.
  • MoondustBri
  • Level 47
  • Master Sweetheart
  • March 31, 2015, 9:24 pm
Thanks! <3

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