I was inspired by ABlindSniper115 to write a story about my own minecraft character. Ito s based on my main survival world, in which I live in a house boat. Boris didno t actually do these things, as he is a farm animal at my minecraft home.






Ipwnllamas awoke to the sound of a celebrating Boris on the top deck. They had been piloting the boat in shifts, hoping to find new land to conquer and rule. Boris, his valet, was on the top deck, and was steering the boat carefully through, as far as Ipwnllamas could see through the window, a swamp off the coast of a hilly, mountainous continent. Ipwnllamas was greatly excited, they had sailed for weeks looking for less advanced people to conquer, and New Troy in their last survival world didno t go well. Ipwnllamas hurriedly put on his fancy trench coat and adjusted his monocle, and then put his enchanted sword, the Arsewhupper,(smite IV, fire aspect II, Thorns) into his hotbar, as well as his Rediculously Overpowered Projectile Flinging Device,(R.O.P.F.D) a well enchanted bow with a great amount of power, knockback, and fire aspect. Knowing that Boris would be cranky after not sleeping, Ipwnllamas got two bottles of awkward potion, (made with fermented spider eyes) and made them into cold alcoholic beverages by putting them into the furnace with ice as fuel. As the hard-ish drinks began to reach fridge temperature in the furnace, Ipwnllamas thought of his budding brewing prowess, how he could make potions so easily now, and how the only place on the boat he had room to put the stand in was the storage room in the back of the living quarters. Just the other week before they left New Troy, as his dictatorship of the villagers had been overthrown, He was lynched. They found a way to control aggressive monsters. Luckily, the Blaze they sent to assassinate Ipwnllamas was killed by none other than himself, and he took the rod and ran to his houseboat. He was only able to bring his most loyal subject, the blue butler sheep, with him, on a poorly built little houseboat with a 2 weeks supply of food. Man, these potions were taking a long time to cool down...



The two awkward potions were now ice cold, and Ipwnllamas brought them up to the top deck, where Boris was bleating boredly while leaning on the controls. Ipwnllamas admired the approaching land, and patted Boris on his fuzzy blue back, offering Boris an awkward potion. Boris took the bottle and drank it quickly, and then took the second one, as Ipwnllamas knew he would. Ipwnllamas began to ask how he had found the island, but then the boat stopped abruptly with the force of impact running through the planks, and an earsplitting noise of a rigid object hitting wood tore like a charged creeper explosion through the blissful peace of the morning, the boato s great bulk shook in the water, as if recoiling in some horrendous pain. Ipwnllamas and Boris stood stunned in the surprising calm that followed, the boat still not moving, and the engines cut. After the initial shock had worn off, Ipwnllamas climbed down the ladder to see what had happened to the boat, and then sighed in exasperation.



The boat had hit a lily pad again.



Boris went down the ladder to sleep on the sandstone lawnchair on the front of the boat, and Ipwnllamas deftly removed the lily pad by punching it. It being Ipwnllamaso turn to pilot the boat, He took the two levers and began to steer it towards land. Boris went inside to the storage room, possibly to make himself another awkward potion. Then Ipwnllamas heard the shattering of wooden planks, and the cracking ofo ¦ stone? Boris screamed from the storage room and Ipwnllamas rushed down the ladder and into the living quarters to see what was going on. Water was flooding into the storage room, and Boris was trying desperately to get out. Ipwnllamas opened the door, only to have water rush into the living quarters and Boris fall on top of him, the boat began to sink. Boris was unconscious, and Ipwnllamas struggled to get him off of him, as the water was now rising up to his invisible penguin ears. It was getting increasingly difficult to breathe with the 100 pound animal lying immovably on his rib cage, a wonder the impact didno t shatter it. after much struggling, the water came up to Ipwnllamao s beak, and he struggled to think, frantically searching his hotbar for something, anything that would get him out of this predicament. Finally he drew The Arsewhupper, and hit Boris as lightly as he could, and it worked. The fire aspect, as he had predicted, didno t do much, as the sheep was soaking wet. The knockback sent Boris flying, where he slammed up onto the ceiling and came down with a splash onto the floor, now bleeding. Ipwnllamas smashed the top part of the door and put cobblestone in its place, the boat was now tipping even further, and the water was up to his waste. Ipwnllamas looked with panic, as the water rose to his neck, at the clouds of blood coming from Boriso s chest, where he had hit him. Ipwnllamas hurriedly smashed a splash potion on the wall, it mixed with the water and caused the amount that was in the ship to have healing properties. Boriso s wound closed and Ipwnllamas uttered an underwater sigh of relief as it healed the damage he was taking from drowning. Ipwnllamas fit the second block of cobblestone into the gap where the door was and hurriedly swam to the doors out front carrying the still unconscious Boris. He opened the doors and water came gushing out, throwing the two out of the living quarters, where Ipwnllamas held fast to a fencepost and the sheep to avoid being swept, wearing his good coat, into the full muck of the swamp. When the water was drained from the living quarters, Ipwnllamas laid Boris on the sandstone lawnchair and administered healing potions until he began to breathe again, and then he went into the living quarters and hung the bed and his trench coat out to dry on their satellite dish, and re-lit the torch in the jack oo lantern that was doused during the turn of events that had just taken place. Ipwnllamas then sat and pondered why they hadno t sanko ¦ This was the work of not even the biggest horde of lily pads at even the greatest of speedso ¦ Then Ipwnllamas heard pistons moving, and bubbles rising from next to the boat, far into the depths of the swamp. Something underneath the boat was pumping water out of itselfo ¦ He did remember hearing stone crack, and saw the stone engine at the back of the boat to be completely intact. Something beyond his comprehension was afoot. Hurriedly, Ipwnllamas tightened his monocle and closed the un-monocled eye so that he could see underwater. He dove into the swamp and found what his boat had hito ¦ A stone brick tower!?






To be continuedo ¦