5

Help with overprotective mom.

IndyJacksonTT's Avatar IndyJacksonTT5/25/18 7:46 pm history
5 emeralds 1.7k 35
9/2/2018 9:15 am
FireBellFairy's Avatar FireBellFairy
So, a lot of people have asked me if I want to hop on thier server and stuff and I would love to say yes, but my mom is extremely overprotective and will not let me do anything with online interactions.

She won't let me watch youtube, i'm not allowed to play minecraft servers, fortnite, ect...

She's afraid of me giving my personal information to someome and them hacking my account or finding my location and kidnapping me.
Even though I know I won't give any information that give them my location or anything else.

I've been trying to convince her for months now and nothing has worked, so I made this post asking if any of you might be able to help me.


Any help will be appreciated at this point.
Posted by IndyJacksonTT's Avatar
IndyJacksonTT
Level 42 : Master Dragonborn
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2
09/02/2018 9:15 amhistory
Level 49 : Master Nerd
FireBellFairy
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I can't help someone who simply wants to play behind their Mothers back.
She has a good reason to keep you offline, and away from strangers. For a fact you shouldn't be on here, and we shouldn't be commenting.
Sure, it sounds like a stupid reason to you, but all parents have reasons. Some of their reasons just sound less-important than others.
Our parents were worried about that(I have a brother who plays with me.) but they were soon to learn we stayed safe online, and we earned their trust. I trust myself to be online, along with my brother, and our parents trust us.

You really need to have trust with your parents, don't keep nagging at her. Do not keep nagging at her.
She'll allow you to be online when she thinks you're ready.
2
08/29/2018 2:44 pm
Level 16 : Journeyman Modder
noodlegamer76
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ignore the last comments i made, also, account deleted, rip
3
08/25/2018 1:19 am
Level 3 : Apprentice Mage
LoxleyShadow
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You are on planet Minecraft which by the way is a web server and is even more risky than a Minecraft server.
2
08/11/2018 1:25 am
Level 1 : New Miner
edwardcgreen
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I have never read something this sad in a while OP, I hope things have changed for you!
1
08/10/2018 10:20 pm
Level 4 : Apprentice Modder
IJustErik
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any update?
1
06/04/2018 7:55 am
Level 24 : Expert Taco
ChocolateGhast
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Oh my gosh, my mom to. I haven't told her about Planet Minecraft to be honest. If you really want to do these things, how about you promise to turn of the chat. I know that's have the fun, but it worth it. I REALLY want Fortnite, but I am not allowed. (Partly because of the violence)
1
05/30/2018 12:43 am
Level 16 : Journeyman Modder
noodlegamer76
noodlegamer76's Avatar
WAIT INDYJACKSONTT IVE SEEN ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR POSTS
05/30/2018 12:38 am
This reply was removed by the poster or a moderator.
1
08/25/2018 1:19 am
Level 3 : Apprentice Mage
LoxleyShadow
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That's funny.....
1
05/30/2018 12:40 am
Level 16 : Journeyman Modder
noodlegamer76
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also make sure to tell her that your IP Address is accessible to ANYTHING your connected to, a website, or a minecraft server, and that IP Addresses can be tracked to your location and they can [BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP]
1
06/08/2018 12:21 am
Level 8 : Apprentice Cake
MmanGamer14
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Are you... okay?
1
08/29/2018 2:42 pm
Level 16 : Journeyman Modder
noodlegamer76
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no, not at the time, hoestly, im fine now though
1
08/29/2018 2:43 pm
Level 16 : Journeyman Modder
noodlegamer76
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what happends when i dont take meds
4
05/29/2018 3:24 pmhistory
Level 8 : Apprentice Cake
MmanGamer14
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Try to have her watch over you as you do something online. (Playing on a Minecraft server, watching a YouTube video, whatever crap you may want to do.) She might see that you refuse to give away much of any personal information.
Also, tell her that posting your first name, email or age online isn't enough to get you kidnapped, or even identify you at all.

Try not to show her any violent games as most people may not understand that most children/teens/whoever don't actually become violent from these games. (I say most, because some DO get violent, which is when you step in.)
1
05/29/2018 2:37 pm
Level 23 : Expert Procrastinator
Energy Master
Energy Master's Avatar
i feel your pain... i just do behind their backs in a couch in a corner so nobody can see what im doing.
1
05/28/2018 12:28 am
Level 18 : Journeyman Crafter
Kamikaze_Nut
Kamikaze_Nut's Avatar
But then how come you're here? This still is online isn't it? And you've logged in, with your email and stuff haven't you?
1
05/28/2018 3:54 am
Level 42 : Master Dragonborn
IndyJacksonTT
IndyJacksonTT's Avatar
My dad allowed mt too.
1
05/28/2018 12:23 amhistory
Level 18 : Journeyman Crafter
Kamikaze_Nut
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Same here :(
1
05/28/2018 12:30 am
Level 18 : Journeyman Crafter
Kamikaze_Nut
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She's not too keen about me getting actually online with online multiplayer and stuff, but she still lets me.

(She won't tell me why she disabled it in the first place).
1
05/30/2018 12:41 am
Level 16 : Journeyman Modder
noodlegamer76
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And "stuff" [Insert Lenny Face Here]
1
05/26/2018 10:44 pmhistory
Level 61 : High Grandmaster Terraformer
Ivain
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It is difficult to give good advice on dealing with a person I have never met, directly or indirectly, but I have to ask you this. Is this the only thing she is 'overprotective' about? Are other activities fine, or is she what some people call a 'helicopter mom' ?

If this is the only thing where she's overprotective, you should be able to find ways to get around it.
If it's a description of her behavior in general, you may need to get some outside perspective. Is talking to your dad an option? Or is he out of the picture?

Also, while hugely exaggerated, her concerns about data privacy are somewhat grounded in reality (though telling her might be a bad idea). There are lots of companies and people that want to collect information about you.

However, the thing where she goes wrong is her estimation of the consequences. The overlarge majority of consequences for having identifiable data like an email address, phone number or the likes leaked would be spam, and perhaps "phishing" attempts (little to do with fish, unfortunately). Phishing is where some criminal attempts to trick you into giving them sensitive information like your creditcard number or bank account login details, by pretending to be from the CC company or the bank. These can be quite convincing.
Banks and CC companies will never ask you to log in through a link in the mail or share your passwords etc with their employees on the phone!
Sorry if you knew this already but I recently got some phishing attempts that were quite convincing, and probably tricked a lot of elderly and otherwise inexperienced people.

Does your family have a regular therapist or psychologist? Perhaps ask if you can talk to them (privately, if at all possible). I can't tell you a good way to phrase this request, as I do not know your mom.


However, an overprotective mother is often difficult to 'reason' with, even for most adults.


That is what trained professionals are for.

Worst case scenario, you could attempt to hide your activities. My tech-savvy dad was always skeptical about me playing minecraft since I spent WAY too much time on it and way too little on homework. He was right in the end, but back then I disagreed. He removed Minecraft from my PC several times, not realizing I could re-install it easily (especially since I did not need admin privileges to do so back then). I also tended to hide my game files.

While my dad is a far more reasonable person than you portray your mom to be, hiding it is still an option, IF you are willing to risk the consequences of her discovering it. If you are not, I advise against it.

PS: This advice is given in addition to that already present in the other responses. I suggest following the 'talk with her about it' advice first of all.
1
05/27/2018 7:19 pm
Level 42 : Master Dragonborn
IndyJacksonTT
IndyJacksonTT's Avatar
Yes, my dad actually helps me in this case, but he says that if my mom doesn't want me to he's not gonna argue with her.

I already hide it on my phone, not sure how I would do it on the computer though.
1
08/25/2018 1:16 am
Level 3 : Apprentice Mage
LoxleyShadow
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If you are on a Mac do command H to hide whatever you are doing. Or you can quickly close your window of the game.
1
05/26/2018 12:09 amhistory
Level 34 : Artisan Wolf
SpacePuppeh
SpacePuppeh's Avatar
Yeah this sounds pretty difficult. Although I like what others have said, here's another idea: you could have your Mom talk to other Moms (assuming her friends don't share her beliefs about the Internet) and maybe her friends would convince her. She could be more open to them, than to your ideas, due to all of the difficulties of parent-child relationships?

Best of luck :)



Edit: If you need a peaceful server, mine doesn't have creepy people running around, so you can hop on there, or any others on PMC that seem nice could work too. Use your judgement.
1
05/26/2018 2:06 am
Level 42 : Master Dragonborn
IndyJacksonTT
IndyJacksonTT's Avatar
She has plently of friends who think it's fine.
1
05/26/2018 4:48 pm
Level 34 : Artisan Wolf
SpacePuppeh
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Oh well idk then. Hope you can figure something out.
2
05/25/2018 10:45 pm
Level 24 : Expert Procrastinator
Sonica
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Like others that may have stated earlier, this is a tricky and tough subject to touch upon. Maybe you can give an in-person presentation of why you have the capability to perform the actions you are prevented from doing (in this case, Minecraft servers, multiplayer video games, etc). I also believe this is caused by your mother believing you will experience something inappropriate online (profanity, sexual interactions, etc). Sadly, this is so far the information I can think of CURRENTLY. If I think of any other logical reasonings and ideas, I will message you on this site.
1
05/25/2018 11:07 pm
Level 42 : Master Dragonborn
IndyJacksonTT
IndyJacksonTT's Avatar
She's afraid of hackers as she assumes everyone on the internet is one.
2
05/26/2018 10:10 pm
Level 24 : Expert Procrastinator
Sonica
Sonica's Avatar
Maybe you and she can both find an anti-virus/hacker system that will protect your devices/internet. That may cause her to feel more relaxed when you hop onto the Internet.
2
05/25/2018 10:05 pm
Level 31 : Artisan Engineer
garlicbreathinator
garlicbreathinator's Avatar
Honestly, if some kind of incident would occur because of something you did online, it would probably be from all of the time you've spent on planetminecraft over the past year. There's less someone can do to find your information from minecraft or fortnite than just browsing a random website. Unless you give out your name or a photo of yourself or anything, then everything's ok.

I would recommend starting out on a large server network like hypixel, where it is unlikely that you will get singled out or even talked to at all. A survival server, especially a private one, generally has an extremely close-knit community where active players form relationships with everyone else.
1
05/25/2018 11:09 pm
Level 42 : Master Dragonborn
IndyJacksonTT
IndyJacksonTT's Avatar
I couldn't log onto to one if I wanted to, as my PC is near her and she won't let me move it.
1
05/26/2018 3:25 am
Level 42 : Master Dragonborn
IndyJacksonTT
IndyJacksonTT's Avatar
Even if she wasn't there I have nosy siblings who would tell on me if I played on a server.
3
05/25/2018 9:34 pm
Level 47 : Master Button Pusher
Cib
Cib's Avatar
Prehaps you could suggest sitting down and play while she watches you.
Prehaps pick a few server to try. Slowly gain her trust and let herself be reassured that she is comfortable with you playing online.
1
05/26/2018 2:07 am
Level 42 : Master Dragonborn
IndyJacksonTT
IndyJacksonTT's Avatar
I've tried that, she gets mad when I talk about it.
7
05/25/2018 9:03 pm
Level 47 : Master Mlem Mlem Bat
Karrfis
Karrfis's Avatar
overprotective parents are a tricky situation as they feel as parents they are correct, and as the ones that are incharge of you while you are still a child there is nothing you can really do

suggestion
sit and talk to your mother about it because it is obvious she does not understand about the internet,secruity and data collection etc and uses fear to mask this, or maybe she has had bad experiences in the past? if she doesnt understand from what you say, it is easy to find courses (online and offline) about internet saftey and it would be a good idea for her to have a look/go to these. she can also contact the video games youy play and ask them about thier data collection and her concerns. this might help

however as your parent, until you are a legal adult she has authority over your life and how you live it (aslong as they dont break the law) and unfortunalty the use of the internet isnt a human right yet :)
3
05/25/2018 7:53 pmhistory
Level 61 : High Grandmaster Meme
Mangled
Mangled's Avatar
I don't know what to suggest because my mom's not quite like that. I can understand why she's worried about you, but I know how annoying it'd be. Maybe you'll just have to wait it out and prove that you are responsible enough to play games with other people. I'm not sure how, though...
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