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Mental Health; And my Experience with it.favorite
Chaotic Stupid
grahamjames
Hello and thanks for checking out this forum thread! Today I'm going to be opening up about my experiences with some less then pleasant emotions, what led me up to having these feelings and how they're affecting me now. I want this to become a trend, because of things I've stated in this Wallpost, if you agree with the points please consider sharing or showing people the forum of mine and hopefully others. Here we go :)
So, this may be surprising to some people who know me personally, but I'm a fragile person, and I believe everyone is to a degree. Though I tend to act the opposite, maybe in a way to pretend to not to be weak, maybe to try to protect myself from things that may hurt me. I realize this a problem though I can't change it, because it's gotten to the point where it's a part of me that I'm not proud of, but I feel talking about how it's gotten to this point might help.
When I was younger, think elementary school, I was open with the fact I was weak, and for that reason I may of been a target for bullies, I would cry often when I was upset, usually kids were very supportive, I went to a good school and it was the best in my area, it was affordable and it was close to a bunch of fast food places (yay). And I loved school, which also made me sort of a nerd, since I was always trying to be top of the class, because something that hasn't changed is that I'm competitive. I had good grades, glasses, a weird choice of clothing and I was emotionally weak, but I loved my friends and I always liked meeting new people. Certain cliques tended to bother or bully me, but at that point I didn't really care, since I had my best friends and we just ignored them. Though once in a while, the words tended to get to me, but I tried to wear them as a badge of honor. But deep down it hurt. Later on they would do mean kid stuff, like stealing whatever we were using, telling us to leave or trying to get us in trouble for things we didn't do. And something I haven't shared that much of, is that I have a fear of failure, a fear of disappointing people as well. So, I thought I had done something wrong, I thought that these girls trying to get me in trouble were because I was a bad person, a bad student, a bad friend. I started making myself throw up so I HAD to leave to avoid these people. I would make myself sick, go to the office and go home early. I had started getting more apathetic towards it and more sad, I wasn't as happy as I used to be and it was showing, my mom asked me what was happening and I explained to her I was getting bullied, though I was afraid to, because I thought because I was being bullied, I was a bad person, or I was weak, and I didn't want to be either of those things, especially my parents because they are the people I want to disappoint the least, the people I look up to. As previously stated, this school was one of the best in the area, and the principal was amazing, he hammered down on the main girl about how bullying is wrong, how it was good for me to stand up for myself and then, she no longer bothered me. But that wasn't the end of the issue, because of all that she had done, if someone had so much as teased me, I would be shattered, or I'd be aggressive. I was very fragile and I broke, I had started fantasizing about characters with confidence and heroes like in my games or my books, which got me into roleplaying, I met a lot of my best friends from roleplaying and I still roleplay, it's a good vent and a good writing practice, I recommend it, back to the story. I started fantasizing more and more, I stopped hanging out with my friends to spend my time drawing or imagining. I had also left my friends because I thought I was still a bad person, and acting aggressive, didn't help at all. My aggression comes from sadness or desperation, but I also try to act dominant because I don't want to be the butt of the joke. My best friends all had issues, Felt they weren't smart, they were lonely and couldn't make friends, bad home life, etc etc, I made it my goal to become friends with these people and then help them, then become friends with someone the next year, I had been doing this since kindergarten, and I hadn't stopped til I became home-schooled. Though something we don't realize is if someone has a fear of disappointment, it may be a very bad idea to put them into homeschooling, Homeschooling is when your parents teach you a curriculum given to you by a school and you do it at home. Though the new Curriculum made me frustrated, since I was getting middle school work, and I wasn't accustomed to it, but I didn't want to ask my family for help because I wanted to be the Grade A student they thought I was, and I thought asking for help would make me a disappointment, or weak. So I'd get so frustrated, I'd start crying, I'd hide from my parents to avoid getting help, with schoolwork or my mental health, I'd lock myself in closets or bathrooms to cry, I'd start crying from the littlest things. I started to refuse answering basic questions like "what's wrong", I started to refuse answering in general, then it became that I physically couldn't answer, then it became I physically couldn't talk, this was a long period of me just making sounds to communicate to my mom, I'd just make a noise to get her attention and point to something and she'd understand. I had said I was depressed once before before all of this, my mom wasn't sure though and said it might just be hormones due to me growing, though after all this she knew, she started looking into getting me a therapist, but there weren't any. There were 0 child psychiatrists in my area. I continued to refuse to ask for help from them. I had to work through all these negative emotions on my own, so the way I did were video games and roleplaying, during this point, we went to the doctor and he had strictly said no electronics because he thought that I was being cyber-bullied or that they were the cause of my depression, but they were one of the things that cured it. Though after I got through the rough patch, I continued to be aggressive and abrasive, but in a more friendly way, the jokingly insulting each other thing were a big thing for me and my friends, and I was happy with that. But the more people I met, the more people I wanted to help, because on the internet, there's a lot of mentally ill people. I met multiple people, I tried to help them with depression or anxiety or whatever what was ill-ing them. About a year ago I had met a new group of friends for a fantasy roleplay, there were a lot of group conflicts and in total there were 2 people venting to me, these 2 started dating which made my life hell, but after that, they broke up, one of them had to leave the group the other was threatening some... not so good things, but towards them-self or others. I tried to help him the best I could, he refused to see any of the free-therapist websites I sent to him, he refused to speak to an adult or Councillor, he refused any help at all, except for mine, he always said that he didn't want to bother anyone, but apparently I didn't matter as much as others, which made me start questioning my self worth. I love my friends and I get really clingy, so I'd stay up til midnight each night trying to make him calm down and not jump out his window right that second. He had already had mental issues before the break-up, but it got completely worse. I recognized myself in some of what he was saying, how he didn't want to bother anyone, but I told him my experiences and I gave him advice, which he didn't follow, then vented to me about what happened after he didn't follow my advice. I realized I couldn't help him, but I couldn't leave him either, I did, he would hurt himself, and I didn't want that, It was like my fear of disappointing but worse, it would be guilt for the rest of my life that I was the reason someone ended their life. After talking to my parents, I had realized this was Emotional Manipulation, he might've not known what he was doing, but it was indeed what he was doing. He would say all these crazy things, then at the end of the night tell me he was too much of a coward to do anything and cry himself to sleep later. Throughout this, I still didn't want to leave, even though I realized what he was doing wasn't healthy for me either, I started getting into more of a depression, I started getting more apathetic and more aggressive. It had gotten to the point that I didn't care if he lived or died, I was that tired. I realized it wasn't healthy for either of us to have him venting to me, and I had fabricated a lie that I was grounded and couldn't have any electronics for 2 weeks, because I was too afraid to actually tell him that I couldn't talk to him anymore. Eventually he had gotten the point, he doesn't speak to me directly, and I don't speak to him, we still mingle with certain groups, but I don't direct any dialogue towards him. I don't think he knows I'm purposefully ignoring him at this point, and I truely feel like the bad guy of the story, rightfully so, but I knew that I couldn't help him, just like my parents couldn't help me. I feel that even if we both agreed to mend the friendship, it wouldn't work. Our friendship was based on the roleplay and then we got to know each other away from that, Roleplay was his vent, and nothing else. He made characters to get away from real life and that means that our friendship was only vent based, all I will be is a vent and I couldn't do it anymore, I hope he heals and he becomes happy someday, though I doubt it, he has talked about starting to do illegal mentally changing activities, when he's old enough. Most will know what I'm referring to. I do feel guilty for all I've done but I tried my best to help him and I wasn't a good fit. This wouldn't be the first time I've been emotionally manipulated, it was very easy for people to do so due to my fragile self worth, but this is the first time I recognized it during and distanced myself. Though thinking back, and now, I feel that I can be emotionally manipulative, I don't know how to stop, and I don't know how to stop being aggressive, but I'm trying.
The reason I'm saying all of this is because recently I feel as if I've started on the road to recovery, Recently I've felt happiness again for the first time in a while, and I'm glad to say PMC is this reason. Anyone can comment whatever they like, if they've been in a similar situation, or if they think I'm a bad guy for distancing myself from my friend, I do keep an eye on him though. I hope me sharing my feelings help others share theirs.
-C.S.
So, this may be surprising to some people who know me personally, but I'm a fragile person, and I believe everyone is to a degree. Though I tend to act the opposite, maybe in a way to pretend to not to be weak, maybe to try to protect myself from things that may hurt me. I realize this a problem though I can't change it, because it's gotten to the point where it's a part of me that I'm not proud of, but I feel talking about how it's gotten to this point might help.
When I was younger, think elementary school, I was open with the fact I was weak, and for that reason I may of been a target for bullies, I would cry often when I was upset, usually kids were very supportive, I went to a good school and it was the best in my area, it was affordable and it was close to a bunch of fast food places (yay). And I loved school, which also made me sort of a nerd, since I was always trying to be top of the class, because something that hasn't changed is that I'm competitive. I had good grades, glasses, a weird choice of clothing and I was emotionally weak, but I loved my friends and I always liked meeting new people. Certain cliques tended to bother or bully me, but at that point I didn't really care, since I had my best friends and we just ignored them. Though once in a while, the words tended to get to me, but I tried to wear them as a badge of honor. But deep down it hurt. Later on they would do mean kid stuff, like stealing whatever we were using, telling us to leave or trying to get us in trouble for things we didn't do. And something I haven't shared that much of, is that I have a fear of failure, a fear of disappointing people as well. So, I thought I had done something wrong, I thought that these girls trying to get me in trouble were because I was a bad person, a bad student, a bad friend. I started making myself throw up so I HAD to leave to avoid these people. I would make myself sick, go to the office and go home early. I had started getting more apathetic towards it and more sad, I wasn't as happy as I used to be and it was showing, my mom asked me what was happening and I explained to her I was getting bullied, though I was afraid to, because I thought because I was being bullied, I was a bad person, or I was weak, and I didn't want to be either of those things, especially my parents because they are the people I want to disappoint the least, the people I look up to. As previously stated, this school was one of the best in the area, and the principal was amazing, he hammered down on the main girl about how bullying is wrong, how it was good for me to stand up for myself and then, she no longer bothered me. But that wasn't the end of the issue, because of all that she had done, if someone had so much as teased me, I would be shattered, or I'd be aggressive. I was very fragile and I broke, I had started fantasizing about characters with confidence and heroes like in my games or my books, which got me into roleplaying, I met a lot of my best friends from roleplaying and I still roleplay, it's a good vent and a good writing practice, I recommend it, back to the story. I started fantasizing more and more, I stopped hanging out with my friends to spend my time drawing or imagining. I had also left my friends because I thought I was still a bad person, and acting aggressive, didn't help at all. My aggression comes from sadness or desperation, but I also try to act dominant because I don't want to be the butt of the joke. My best friends all had issues, Felt they weren't smart, they were lonely and couldn't make friends, bad home life, etc etc, I made it my goal to become friends with these people and then help them, then become friends with someone the next year, I had been doing this since kindergarten, and I hadn't stopped til I became home-schooled. Though something we don't realize is if someone has a fear of disappointment, it may be a very bad idea to put them into homeschooling, Homeschooling is when your parents teach you a curriculum given to you by a school and you do it at home. Though the new Curriculum made me frustrated, since I was getting middle school work, and I wasn't accustomed to it, but I didn't want to ask my family for help because I wanted to be the Grade A student they thought I was, and I thought asking for help would make me a disappointment, or weak. So I'd get so frustrated, I'd start crying, I'd hide from my parents to avoid getting help, with schoolwork or my mental health, I'd lock myself in closets or bathrooms to cry, I'd start crying from the littlest things. I started to refuse answering basic questions like "what's wrong", I started to refuse answering in general, then it became that I physically couldn't answer, then it became I physically couldn't talk, this was a long period of me just making sounds to communicate to my mom, I'd just make a noise to get her attention and point to something and she'd understand. I had said I was depressed once before before all of this, my mom wasn't sure though and said it might just be hormones due to me growing, though after all this she knew, she started looking into getting me a therapist, but there weren't any. There were 0 child psychiatrists in my area. I continued to refuse to ask for help from them. I had to work through all these negative emotions on my own, so the way I did were video games and roleplaying, during this point, we went to the doctor and he had strictly said no electronics because he thought that I was being cyber-bullied or that they were the cause of my depression, but they were one of the things that cured it. Though after I got through the rough patch, I continued to be aggressive and abrasive, but in a more friendly way, the jokingly insulting each other thing were a big thing for me and my friends, and I was happy with that. But the more people I met, the more people I wanted to help, because on the internet, there's a lot of mentally ill people. I met multiple people, I tried to help them with depression or anxiety or whatever what was ill-ing them. About a year ago I had met a new group of friends for a fantasy roleplay, there were a lot of group conflicts and in total there were 2 people venting to me, these 2 started dating which made my life hell, but after that, they broke up, one of them had to leave the group the other was threatening some... not so good things, but towards them-self or others. I tried to help him the best I could, he refused to see any of the free-therapist websites I sent to him, he refused to speak to an adult or Councillor, he refused any help at all, except for mine, he always said that he didn't want to bother anyone, but apparently I didn't matter as much as others, which made me start questioning my self worth. I love my friends and I get really clingy, so I'd stay up til midnight each night trying to make him calm down and not jump out his window right that second. He had already had mental issues before the break-up, but it got completely worse. I recognized myself in some of what he was saying, how he didn't want to bother anyone, but I told him my experiences and I gave him advice, which he didn't follow, then vented to me about what happened after he didn't follow my advice. I realized I couldn't help him, but I couldn't leave him either, I did, he would hurt himself, and I didn't want that, It was like my fear of disappointing but worse, it would be guilt for the rest of my life that I was the reason someone ended their life. After talking to my parents, I had realized this was Emotional Manipulation, he might've not known what he was doing, but it was indeed what he was doing. He would say all these crazy things, then at the end of the night tell me he was too much of a coward to do anything and cry himself to sleep later. Throughout this, I still didn't want to leave, even though I realized what he was doing wasn't healthy for me either, I started getting into more of a depression, I started getting more apathetic and more aggressive. It had gotten to the point that I didn't care if he lived or died, I was that tired. I realized it wasn't healthy for either of us to have him venting to me, and I had fabricated a lie that I was grounded and couldn't have any electronics for 2 weeks, because I was too afraid to actually tell him that I couldn't talk to him anymore. Eventually he had gotten the point, he doesn't speak to me directly, and I don't speak to him, we still mingle with certain groups, but I don't direct any dialogue towards him. I don't think he knows I'm purposefully ignoring him at this point, and I truely feel like the bad guy of the story, rightfully so, but I knew that I couldn't help him, just like my parents couldn't help me. I feel that even if we both agreed to mend the friendship, it wouldn't work. Our friendship was based on the roleplay and then we got to know each other away from that, Roleplay was his vent, and nothing else. He made characters to get away from real life and that means that our friendship was only vent based, all I will be is a vent and I couldn't do it anymore, I hope he heals and he becomes happy someday, though I doubt it, he has talked about starting to do illegal mentally changing activities, when he's old enough. Most will know what I'm referring to. I do feel guilty for all I've done but I tried my best to help him and I wasn't a good fit. This wouldn't be the first time I've been emotionally manipulated, it was very easy for people to do so due to my fragile self worth, but this is the first time I recognized it during and distanced myself. Though thinking back, and now, I feel that I can be emotionally manipulative, I don't know how to stop, and I don't know how to stop being aggressive, but I'm trying.
The reason I'm saying all of this is because recently I feel as if I've started on the road to recovery, Recently I've felt happiness again for the first time in a while, and I'm glad to say PMC is this reason. Anyone can comment whatever they like, if they've been in a similar situation, or if they think I'm a bad guy for distancing myself from my friend, I do keep an eye on him though. I hope me sharing my feelings help others share theirs.
-C.S.
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I simply need to begin by saying that I am sorry to such an extent that you experienced the entirety of this. It's totally alright to separate yourself from somebody who is beginning to cause you to feel unwell, your wellbeing matters as well.
I can't state that I've been in the specific circumstance, yet I have had my own experiences, and I can identify with this here and there. We have a comparative foundation as a kid (being caused to feel terrible for what we're energetic about, being tenacious towards companions, and being ridiculed).
My best guidance to you is to likewise consider how you feel, and recollect that you matter as well.
I can't state that I've been in the specific circumstance, yet I have had my own experiences, and I can identify with this here and there. We have a comparative foundation as a kid (being caused to feel terrible for what we're energetic about, being tenacious towards companions, and being ridiculed).
My best guidance to you is to likewise consider how you feel, and recollect that you matter as well.
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I had a similar experience as a kid mainly with being bullied and tooken quite the abuse from my parents as well and because of that I suffer from PTSD, for why I was bullied by people is probably because of me being born with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (or PDD for short) and thus was an "odd" child so to speak nevertheless they really put me down and thus I never really like hanging around people because of that.
As I grew into junior-high I became more of the bully and thus was actually with the so-called "popular" kids but deep down I didn't like it. Over time I got into ways to handle my own aggression which I know is something you yourself mentioned and learned that I'm really good at martial arts, specifically grappling arts such as Wrestling or Brazilian JuJitZu. These sports got me out of a hole that I was trying to get out of for a bit, and instead of being the chubby bully, I grew into this buffer nerd of sorts. Though I loved the new me, many of the people who I thought were the only people I really knew... left me and even resulting in my girlfriend (now Ex) cheating on me with another man.
(A little bit of a side story but may mention it later so here's early context, I have a dog, he's now five years old, and when I was about 13ish I found him and his mother near the back alley of a bank and I named the pup 'Banks' because I'm creative, his mom went with my sister and she passed away in peace two years ago so RIP Banks' mom)
Yeah... was not in a good mental state in the middle of high-school, and I didn't really seek help either, I just workout or did my school work, wasn't till my senior year when things changed was when I actually one my second state tournament for wrestling where I started to put my head up again, and it mainly had to do with a college actually wanting to give me a scholarship for university, so I felt a little bit up high with my life and continue to try to make up for what I'd lost.
Still haven't really tried to find help with some of the problems going through my head, but I'm in a better recovery then I've ever been. However, I've been taking a break from most of the relationships I've been close with including with my girlfriend (not ex) for I'm trying to be the man I wish be, and I don't wish for other people try to effect that.
As I grew into junior-high I became more of the bully and thus was actually with the so-called "popular" kids but deep down I didn't like it. Over time I got into ways to handle my own aggression which I know is something you yourself mentioned and learned that I'm really good at martial arts, specifically grappling arts such as Wrestling or Brazilian JuJitZu. These sports got me out of a hole that I was trying to get out of for a bit, and instead of being the chubby bully, I grew into this buffer nerd of sorts. Though I loved the new me, many of the people who I thought were the only people I really knew... left me and even resulting in my girlfriend (now Ex) cheating on me with another man.
(A little bit of a side story but may mention it later so here's early context, I have a dog, he's now five years old, and when I was about 13ish I found him and his mother near the back alley of a bank and I named the pup 'Banks' because I'm creative, his mom went with my sister and she passed away in peace two years ago so RIP Banks' mom)
Yeah... was not in a good mental state in the middle of high-school, and I didn't really seek help either, I just workout or did my school work, wasn't till my senior year when things changed was when I actually one my second state tournament for wrestling where I started to put my head up again, and it mainly had to do with a college actually wanting to give me a scholarship for university, so I felt a little bit up high with my life and continue to try to make up for what I'd lost.
Still haven't really tried to find help with some of the problems going through my head, but I'm in a better recovery then I've ever been. However, I've been taking a break from most of the relationships I've been close with including with my girlfriend (not ex) for I'm trying to be the man I wish be, and I don't wish for other people try to effect that.
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Thank you for sharing! I hope you heal :)
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omg this is so relatable. i'm so sorry and I'm glad to hear that your better now. (I kind of feel like I'm that boy though so oh no ~ )
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Thank you! Haha, his usernames are sort of obvious aswell as his typing style so I think you're fine!
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I have no experience with mental health, what's it like?
all joking aside, that is a really powerful post.
Thank you for opening up, that is something you can really be proud of.
I've suffered from episodic gad all my life, but just accepted that that was what life is like. i never questioned whether or not it could be different until quite recently. i am 1 1/2 years into my therapy (which i originally started cos of mdd) but we only realized that my past is riddled with gad about 2 months ago. what i am trying to say is, that you cannot be expected to know everything about yourself. if you regularly self reflect, you may find, that there are very solvable problems, that loomed in the back for a long time, but which you couldn't see, because you've just never questioned them.
All of you are VALID! All of you are LOVED! And all of you deserve the best life you can live!
Stay strong and keep your chins way up!
all joking aside, that is a really powerful post.
Thank you for opening up, that is something you can really be proud of.
I've suffered from episodic gad all my life, but just accepted that that was what life is like. i never questioned whether or not it could be different until quite recently. i am 1 1/2 years into my therapy (which i originally started cos of mdd) but we only realized that my past is riddled with gad about 2 months ago. what i am trying to say is, that you cannot be expected to know everything about yourself. if you regularly self reflect, you may find, that there are very solvable problems, that loomed in the back for a long time, but which you couldn't see, because you've just never questioned them.
All of you are VALID! All of you are LOVED! And all of you deserve the best life you can live!
Stay strong and keep your chins way up!
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Thank you! I'm glad that you're getting therapy for your gad and mmd, I hope you heal and I agree, emotions are valid and there's always support in this community ! :)
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yeah, fucking cheesy but true. together we can all be strong, lift each other up AND be lifted up by others. <3
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DAAANG, thats a long story there!, but the fact you were bullied is very bad, i dont know how bullies do in other countries but i got that experience, but after 2 years, me and my bully became friends, it took 3 years to think back, and now I know its actually my fault because I was too annoying. but all of that left some.....notable mental scars on my behalf., your personality is also similar to mine, i see, because i am a weak-ish person and you are too, but your story is sad man, I dont have a mental health issue, but that sounds bad, thank goodness you dealt with it.
edit: sorry due to a long story, I get carried away
edit: sorry due to a long story, I get carried away
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Thank you! No it's good to hear peoples feedback, I'm glad my tale of woes could move you :)
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its okay to act not weak even if you are. you didn't need to post this. No should need to know this. Everyone has a different side that they hide when they aren't around other people. Im a very sensitive person too, I hide it as best as I can and I am really good at it now (unlike a few years ago). The more you hide it, the more you realize that you are growing out of this sensitivity and it can help you grow from being sensitive to being strong. I personally have the tough-love type of parents but they helped me grow out of this weakness and while I still am a very sensitive person I show nothing when someone says something that offends me to my face
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Thank you! I know that I didn't have to post this, but the point is to spread the word, throughout the day I've been speaking about how mental health shouldn't be something people should feel guilty about talking about, so I wrote this to be an example or to show people we're all human :)
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Well, that was a very long story. Wow.
At this point, I'm pretty sure that everyone has their own challenges to overcome in their lives (yes, even me, but I'm not gonna talk about that here because we'll all be here forever if I do), and I think that we'll all have a much better time if we all just stick together and help each other out whenever anyone needs it most. That's pretty much my entire reason for existing these days, you know.
We're all stronger together, and we all need to remember that.
At this point, I'm pretty sure that everyone has their own challenges to overcome in their lives (yes, even me, but I'm not gonna talk about that here because we'll all be here forever if I do), and I think that we'll all have a much better time if we all just stick together and help each other out whenever anyone needs it most. That's pretty much my entire reason for existing these days, you know.
We're all stronger together, and we all need to remember that.
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Thank you! Though if you do want to share your story, I'm starting a blog about posting peoples mental health stories :)
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Well, I have a lot of dark tales from my past. I guess I could share them if you're interested, but this is not the place to do it because I don't want everyone to be here for at least about a day reading absolutely everything I have to say, and now is also not the best time because I'm a little busy at the moment.
But yes, I could share these tales soon.
But yes, I could share these tales soon.
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of course! and it could be completely anonymous if you wish, just pm me.
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In that case, I'll do that as soon as I have my opportunity.
Also, I don't really care whether it's anonymous or not. But, I do think people should probably know about these stories, and all the stories everyone else might have, and I also know that I'm probably not the person to write these stories because that's just not something I'm good at.
Also, I don't really care whether it's anonymous or not. But, I do think people should probably know about these stories, and all the stories everyone else might have, and I also know that I'm probably not the person to write these stories because that's just not something I'm good at.
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Oh I plan on rewriting them for ease of reading or to mask someones writing style if its anonymous, so don't worry, I'll do some tweaks :)
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May I just underline something?
That "friend" that you cared about by letting him vent to you... Yeah, he is the bad guy.
I have a rather harsh opinion about subjects like this, so please take what I say with a grain of salt because it is a bit biased. It's always good to show kindness, and it's always worth a shot to try and help someone, but I've learned over the years that if you want to stay healthy, mentally, you have to set yourself first. Always. If someone starts dragging you down, when all you offered was to let them vent, there's a cool button called: "Delete Friend" and "Block User". You're doing yourself a favor.
About the threatening you with self-harm part: My girlfriend used to work at a 'people who dont feel good' hotline, and I just asked her about this and she said that if someone actually has an intend on hurting themselves in such ways that it might result in the lack of air in the body. They most likely won't actually tell anyone. If they do decide to tell someone, it'll most likely be very subtle and never really directly a: "I'm gonna commit not breathing!". And again a little biased but: People who utilize self harm as a way to keep you near them, are the people that need to learn how it feels to be blocked for saying stupid things like that.
My point is: You messed up a bit by giving someone else but yourself, 120% of yourself. But now you know, and you can use this experience in the future to ask yourself if they are really worth your time. Because in the end, You deserve the biggest part of Your time, and if anyone ever starts demanding more of your time than you can give yourself. Then they deserve a kick in the face with a nice red "BLOCKED" sign on.
That "friend" that you cared about by letting him vent to you... Yeah, he is the bad guy.
I have a rather harsh opinion about subjects like this, so please take what I say with a grain of salt because it is a bit biased. It's always good to show kindness, and it's always worth a shot to try and help someone, but I've learned over the years that if you want to stay healthy, mentally, you have to set yourself first. Always. If someone starts dragging you down, when all you offered was to let them vent, there's a cool button called: "Delete Friend" and "Block User". You're doing yourself a favor.
About the threatening you with self-harm part: My girlfriend used to work at a 'people who dont feel good' hotline, and I just asked her about this and she said that if someone actually has an intend on hurting themselves in such ways that it might result in the lack of air in the body. They most likely won't actually tell anyone. If they do decide to tell someone, it'll most likely be very subtle and never really directly a: "I'm gonna commit not breathing!". And again a little biased but: People who utilize self harm as a way to keep you near them, are the people that need to learn how it feels to be blocked for saying stupid things like that.
My point is: You messed up a bit by giving someone else but yourself, 120% of yourself. But now you know, and you can use this experience in the future to ask yourself if they are really worth your time. Because in the end, You deserve the biggest part of Your time, and if anyone ever starts demanding more of your time than you can give yourself. Then they deserve a kick in the face with a nice red "BLOCKED" sign on.
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What do you mean "take this with a grain of salt", what you just said is absolutely 100% right and cannot be stressed enough.
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Maybe in some cases, but I'm a very biased person on subjects alike this, which is why I had to underline that everything I say in this thread might not be the smartest things :'D
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Thank you.
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Thanks :)
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We are startlingly similar
I relate to all of this in that order on a personal level
I relate to all of this in that order on a personal level
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I'm glad that you can see some of yourself in me :)
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If this forum changes how you view me, go ahead, I don't mind, It's just the best I can recall all that's happened.
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It changed my view from you being a skin-creator, to being an abselout fighter in real life :)
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Thank you so much! :))
