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Russian reversal joke dictionary (In soviet Russia jokes)

Jedi's Avatar Jedi11/12/15 1:21 am
1 emeralds 8.3k 40
6/7/2016 4:00 pm
Zitzabis's Avatar Zitzabis
Ok I want to compile a list of ALL the russian reversal jokes, just the clean ones tho, cuz PMC.

If you're the first person to list a joke, you'll be credited in the list. Feel free to make your own Russian reversal jokes.

Rules:
Don't post jokes that are on the list.
No bad language.
No inappropriate jokes.
KEEP IT PG-13
Keep it PMC appropriate.

The Russian reversal dictionary
In america you eat burger king, in soviet russia, burger king eat you.

In america you hunt deer, in soviet russia, deer hunt you.

In america you watch TV, in soviet Russia, TV watches you.

In america, you cry evry tiem, In soviet Russia, you die evry tiem.

In soviet Russia, president assassinate YOU.

In 'Murica, you listen to music. In soviet russia music listens to you.

In 'Murica you watch the news, in soviet russia the news watches you.

In America fat kid chases ice cream truck, in soviet russia ice cream truck chases fat
kid.

In America you lie, in soviet russia you die.

In America you cry, in soviet russia you die.

In America you hunt bear, in Soviet russia bear hunt you.

In america you join military, in soviet russia military joins you.

In america you shoot guns, in soviet russia guns shoot you.

In america you throw out garbage, in soviet russia garbage throws you out.

In america you make sandwich, in soviet russia sandwich makes you.

In america you own dog, in soviet russia, dog owns you.

In america zombies eat you, in soviet russia, you eat zombies.

In america bears chase you, in soviet russia you chase bears. - DailyTuber

In america you watch big brother, in soviet russia big brother watches you. -Cookiesz

In america you laugh at jokes, in soviet russia jokes laugh at you. - Zatharel

In america you laugh at jokes, in soviet russia, you are the joke. -Jedi and Zatharel

In america you beg for mercy, in soviet russia mercy begs for you. - pikamoar

In America, you sleep on Bed, In Soviet Russia, Bed sleeps on you... - Infinitize

In America, you eat Hotdog, in Soviet Russia, Hotdog eats you. - OGS16

In America, you sell computers. In Soviet Russia, computers sell you. - OGS16

In America, you find Waldo. In Soviet Russia, Waldo find YOU. Quapla_

In America, you dig hole. In Soviet Russia, hole digs you. - GuyThatHasNoLife

In America you use the bathroom, In soviet russia bathroom the uses you. - xXDuckTummyXx


In America, you deposit money into a bank. In Soviet Russia, money deposits you into a bank - xXDuckTummyXx

In England, you eat crumpets. In Soviet Russia, crumpets eat you.. - OGS16

In Germany, you go to school. In Soviet Russia, school goes to you. - OGS16

In France, you wear berets. In Soviet Russia, berets wear you. - OGS16

In England, you eat Eggs and Bacon. In Soviet Russia, the bacon eats you. The eggs explode. - OGS16

On Mars, it is empty. In Soviet Russia, empty is mars. - OGS16

In 'merica you make breakfast, in soviet Russia, breakfast make you.

In 'Merica you make fire, In soviet russia fire make you.

Roses are red, violets are blue. In Soviet Russia, poem writes you. ~ _Hellcat_
In America, you play video game. In Soviet Russia, game plays you. ~
_Hellcat_



I know I forgot to capitalize the R in Russia several times, mention it and you get shipped out to soviet russia.

Note: This is not intended to offend anyone. Russians or americans.

I reserve the right to make small edits to your jokes. The jokes may or may not be sold to soviet Russians in exchange for my life. I may or may not sell you to Soviet Russians for food. Why are you still reading the tiny text?
Posted by Jedi's Avatar
Jedi
Level 29 : Expert Artist
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40

1
06/07/2016 4:00 pm
Level 75 : Legendary Gent
Zitzabis
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Thread was dead. Please do not necropost.

/locked
1
06/07/2016 3:59 pm
Level 1 : New Miner
SliceThePi
SliceThePi's Avatar
In America, you can always find Party. In Soviet Russia, Party can always find you.
1
06/07/2016 3:49 pm
Level 49 : Master Fox
LimeeFox
LimeeFox's Avatar
Most of the jokes are totally not true.
1
06/07/2016 3:22 pm
Level 20 : Expert Explorer
Dexzernq79
Dexzernq79's Avatar
In America, you make Pokemon faint. In Soviet Russia, Pokemon make you faint.
1
01/08/2016 11:25 am
Level 7 : Apprentice Architect
the_Deadly_Dream
the_Deadly_Dream's Avatar
In Soviet Russia, photos make cameras.
1
01/08/2016 9:39 am
Level 52 : Grandmaster Prince
Prince Oceanus
Prince Oceanus's Avatar
In America, you tell "Yo Momma" jokes.

In Soviet Russia, "Yo Momma" jokes tell you.
1
12/18/2015 9:29 am
Level 74 : Legendary Pixel Painter
Anxiety Opossum
Anxiety Opossum's Avatar
_Hellcat_
Roses are red, violets are blue. In Soviet Russia, poem writes you.


this is the greatest thing I've ever heard
1
12/16/2015 4:38 pm
Level 1 : New Explorer
Gum_Skyloard
Gum_Skyloard's Avatar
In America, you punch Creepers, In Soviet Russia, Creepers punch you.


~Gum
1
12/16/2015 4:18 pm
Level 22 : Expert Modder
Lacuna Corporation
Lacuna Corporation's Avatar
1
12/16/2015 3:28 pm
Level 20 : Expert Explorer
Dexzernq79
Dexzernq79's Avatar
In 'murica, Chuck Norris can do anything.
In Soviet Russia, well, he can also do anything...
1
01/08/2016 10:34 am
Level 5 : Apprentice Mage
farleyeccles
farleyeccles's Avatar
weajk
1
12/16/2015 3:55 pm
Level 36 : Artisan Geek
Mooknkoyo
Mooknkoyo's Avatar
1
12/15/2015 12:04 pm
Level 36 : Artisan Geek
Mooknkoyo
Mooknkoyo's Avatar
In America you turn on sink, in Soviet Russia, sink turn on YOU. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
1
12/15/2015 9:42 am
Level 52 : Grandmaster Prince
Prince Oceanus
Prince Oceanus's Avatar
In America, you keep calm. In Soviet Russia, calm keeps you.
1
12/15/2015 9:36 am
Level 21 : Expert Fish
MrCatSquid
MrCatSquid's Avatar
In Minecraft, you craft blocks, in Russia, blocks craft you.
1
12/15/2015 4:05 am
Level 32 : Artisan Toast
_Hellcat_
_Hellcat_'s Avatar
In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drives you.
Roses are red, violets are blue. In Soviet Russia, poem writes you.
In America, you play video game. In Soviet Russia, game plays you.
1
12/15/2015 1:51 am
Level 16 : Journeyman Dragon
Latiodile
Latiodile's Avatar
In Soviet Russia you dont make Soviet Russia jokes, Soviet Russia jokes make you.
1
11/20/2015 2:47 am
Level 25 : Expert Zombie
Halorules555
Halorules555's Avatar
I hate these jokes but...

In Soviet Russia, you don't say bye to friend, friend says bye to you.

A bit of a paradox, huh.
1
12/15/2015 1:30 am
Level 29 : Expert Artist
Jedi
Jedi's Avatar
This statement is false.
1
11/20/2015 2:44 am
Level 13 : Journeyman Modder
tepo17
tepo17's Avatar
When reading all of these jokes my mind is like "PLEASE, HELP...ME!!!!"
Welp why not spread it :p

In Canada it's cold, in Mother Russia it's cold.

In America we got founding fathers, in Mother Russia we got founding mothers

In America we got hamsters, in Mother Russia we got abominable(is that how you spell it?, too lazy to use google) snowmen.

In America we ride horses, in Mother Russia we ride bears.

And many more :p just want to save some brain cells for tomorrow
1
11/20/2015 1:49 am
Level 29 : Expert Artist
Jedi
Jedi's Avatar
Yep..
1
11/16/2015 12:58 pm
Level 56 : Grandmaster Architect
TotallyNotMe
TotallyNotMe's Avatar
In England, you eat crumpets. In Soviet Russia, crumpets eat you..

In Germany, you go to school. In Soviet Russia, school goes to you.

In France, you wear berets. In Soviet Russia, berets wear you.

In Russia, you drink coffee. In Soviet Russia, you drink coffee.

In England, you eat Eggs and Bacon. In Soviet Russia, the bacon eats you. The eggs explode.

On Mars, it is empty. In Soviet Russia, empty is mars.
1
11/15/2015 9:53 pm
Level 1 : New Miner
xXDuckTummyXx
xXDuckTummyXx's Avatar
In Capitalist America, you see salad dressing

In Motherland Rus-- Forget it, that's not cool. Onto another one

In Capitalist America, you deposit money into a bank.

In Motherland Russia, money deposits you into a bank
1
11/15/2015 9:49 pm
Level 1 : New Miner
xXDuckTummyXx
xXDuckTummyXx's Avatar
In Capitalist America, you use the bathroom.

In Motherland Russia, the bathroom uses you.
1
11/15/2015 9:40 pm
Level 16 : Journeyman Network
Konrad
Konrad's Avatar
In America, you dig hole. In Soviet Russia, hole digs you.
1
11/15/2015 9:29 pm
Level 30 : Artisan Explorer
illuminati128k
illuminati128k's Avatar
In Capitalist America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you.
1
11/15/2015 9:06 pm
Level 37 : Artisan Scribe
LetsGoTrippin
LetsGoTrippin's Avatar
In America, you find Waldo. In Soviet Russia, Waldo find YOU.
1
11/15/2015 9:28 pm
Level 74 : Legendary Pixel Painter
Anxiety Opossum
Anxiety Opossum's Avatar
Good God, that's terrifying.
1
11/14/2015 7:42 am
Level 56 : Grandmaster Architect
TotallyNotMe
TotallyNotMe's Avatar
In America, you eat Hotdog, in Soviet Russia, Hotdog eats you.

In America, you sell computers. In Soviet Russia, computers sell you.
1
11/14/2015 7:21 am
Level 10 : Journeyman Skinner
Infinitize
Infinitize's Avatar
In America, you sleep on Bed, In Soviet Russia, Bed sleeps on you...
1
01/08/2016 10:34 am
Level 5 : Apprentice Mage
farleyeccles
farleyeccles's Avatar
omg yes love it
1
11/13/2015 5:07 pm
Level 42 : Master Mage
Pixel
Pixel's Avatar
In soviet Russia, you watch TV. In America, TV watches you.
1
11/14/2015 5:56 am
Level 49 : Master Sweetheart
Zatharel
Zatharel's Avatar
Isn't it actually:
"In Soviet Russia, TV watches you. In America, TV watches you."?
1
11/13/2015 2:30 pm
Level 22 : Expert Network
1234560
1234560's Avatar
In America you shoot guns, in Soviet Russia, guns shoot you.
1
11/15/2015 8:15 pm
Level 29 : Expert Artist
Jedi
Jedi's Avatar
pls

do you even read bro
1
11/13/2015 2:09 pm
Level 55 : Grandmaster Musician
Punkamoar
Punkamoar's Avatar
In America, you beg for mercy. In Soviet Russia, mercy begs for you
1
11/13/2015 2:02 pm
Level 49 : Master Sweetheart
Zatharel
Zatharel's Avatar
In America, you laugh at jokes. In Soviet Russia, jokes laugh at you.
1
11/13/2015 1:48 pm
Level 49 : Master Creeper Hugger
Cookiesz
Cookiesz's Avatar
I heard this one from a friend:

In America, you watch Big Brother
In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watches you
1
11/12/2015 1:59 am
Level 33 : Artisan Mage
DailyTuber
DailyTuber's Avatar
In US the bears chase you, in Russian, you chase bears.
1
11/13/2015 1:42 pm
Level 29 : Expert Artist
Jedi
Jedi's Avatar
Yes.
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