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All servers are dead.
Every server, except the bs p2w garbage is dead. There is no "key" to making a popular server, the big ones will always steal that success from you. I have tried, tried so hard, tried for years. its not possible. it just isn't every small server i've seen in the past, is now dead, gone, or dying.
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What usually happens to me when my servers die is that, since I started getting so many members, I don't need to advertise anymore. But then it hits me so quickly with inactivity. I've got a server that I started 4 years ago, and just restarted it, and it seems to be working pretty well. I'd say the best place I found to advertise it would be Reddit, since people seem to find smaller servers on there.

There are servers that are more than just SMP/Anarchy crap, or anything that effectively requires money to do anything, but it's like finding a needle in a haystack. Most of which don't have anyone on them, so try playing servers with low player counts.

As a new server, it's really hard to grow ;-;

The fundamental issue one is up against is that running aserver costs money (at miimum electricity and an internet connection).
There are three basic models to fund servers:
A) passion project [basically the server owner is eating the costs]
B) contributions [people playing on the server are giving money without receiving any direct benefit]
C) some form of sale [some thing[s] are being sold to people].
Type A is going to be limited to 'small' servers (such as one run for kith and kin)simply because the number of people able to fund a 'popular' aka large server on a whim is severly limited.
Type B remains [I think] fairly common, but is generally not going to be advertized and getting whitelisted will generally require knowing one or more of the players. This sort of arrangement only tends to work in groups both small enough and cohesive enough that a 'social contract' limits/prevents a 'free rider' problem.
Type C (which is likely to be any sort of advertised, public server) simply represents the rarity of people willing and able to subsidise a server as large and diverse groups tend to generate free riders (among other issues). [There is also a scaling issue, beyond a certain (fairly small number of players), expenses take a major jump as keeping thngs up and running ceases to be something that can be done in odd spare moments and dedicated equipment becomes essential.]
Within this group, the best sort of server I've seen is upfront about the financial system (frequently generating funds via a monthly 'all access' fee [Fee-for-Time or F4T]), whereas the worst are pay-for-advantage{P4A} [which all too often does closely correspond to pay-to-win {P2W}].
Given the prevalence of P4A servers, one supposses there must be quite a few people willing to play this way — so that business model would not seem to be at any risk of dying.
F4T seems surprisingly rare, although it does suffer from either an entry barrior or the effects of allowing free trial periods.
[color=#7e8c8d][The above may well be somewhat out of date as my interests in SMP run to long term, stable arrangements with comparatively few players. (A few dozen at most, rather than hundreds or thousands.) ][/color]
There are three basic models to fund servers:
A) passion project [basically the server owner is eating the costs]
B) contributions [people playing on the server are giving money without receiving any direct benefit]
C) some form of sale [some thing[s] are being sold to people].
Type A is going to be limited to 'small' servers (such as one run for kith and kin)simply because the number of people able to fund a 'popular' aka large server on a whim is severly limited.
Type B remains [I think] fairly common, but is generally not going to be advertized and getting whitelisted will generally require knowing one or more of the players. This sort of arrangement only tends to work in groups both small enough and cohesive enough that a 'social contract' limits/prevents a 'free rider' problem.
Type C (which is likely to be any sort of advertised, public server) simply represents the rarity of people willing and able to subsidise a server as large and diverse groups tend to generate free riders (among other issues). [There is also a scaling issue, beyond a certain (fairly small number of players), expenses take a major jump as keeping thngs up and running ceases to be something that can be done in odd spare moments and dedicated equipment becomes essential.]
Within this group, the best sort of server I've seen is upfront about the financial system (frequently generating funds via a monthly 'all access' fee [Fee-for-Time or F4T]), whereas the worst are pay-for-advantage{P4A} [which all too often does closely correspond to pay-to-win {P2W}].
Given the prevalence of P4A servers, one supposses there must be quite a few people willing to play this way — so that business model would not seem to be at any risk of dying.
F4T seems surprisingly rare, although it does suffer from either an entry barrior or the effects of allowing free trial periods.
[color=#7e8c8d][The above may well be somewhat out of date as my interests in SMP run to long term, stable arrangements with comparatively few players. (A few dozen at most, rather than hundreds or thousands.) ][/color]

is Hypixel a p2w server now?

skyblock gems
booster cookies
profile upgrades
dyes
skins
booster cookies
profile upgrades
dyes
skins

none of these are p2w, just cosmetics

booster cookies give tons of perks, they give bits, which are the only way to get many items
they give god potions, which are the way to skip every other potion
they can be sold to bazaar, for real coins
and they are only obtained through real money
they give god potions, which are the way to skip every other potion
they can be sold to bazaar, for real coins
and they are only obtained through real money

However unlike typical p2w items in p2w servers, they can be obtained with ingame currency for people who dont spend for cookies (difficulty to acquire doesnt really matter as its based on the economy, which everyone can access fully (unlike a game like Runescape)), making its p2w status debatable
Dyes and skins do not affect gameplay in any way
Dyes and skins do not affect gameplay in any way

bazaar is controlled by players, dyes and skins are also sold to players for coins. the cookies you buy with coins are from someone that used real money
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No but there's enough sweat there to flood your house

I agree with that, big/famous public servers always will have some p2w aspect in almost every case. Even a server like Originrealms has a p2w aspect, though its slightly different seeing it is a PVE server; It still has that Housing feeling where "buy a rank to gain more land" and such. The only time there are F2P servers is when its either: A. A small friend group, B. A server where its main goal is just uninterrupted fun, or C. its a private server where they wouldn't make money; These all still fall into the: They all are either not enough for people to want to play compared to like Hypixel or Minehut, so players just- give up on these small servers.
Its sad, all the players want in the end is a lot of stimulus - like a kid with an ipad playing a game with 30 ad's every second, they feed you more and more crap until you basically just get mentally burnt out, and have to take a break.
Its sad, all the players want in the end is a lot of stimulus - like a kid with an ipad playing a game with 30 ad's every second, they feed you more and more crap until you basically just get mentally burnt out, and have to take a break.