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One Sentence Story Contest Submission

1 emerald0 replies • 116 views
created 01/11/2018 8:46 pm by GrayMysterious
Have you ever had one of those days where you woke up feeling like you could take on the world, so you got dressed as sharply as you could, brushed your teeth till they sparkled, combed your hair till nary a strand was out of place, got in your car and drove all the way to the pawn shop and bought a baseball bat, and drove all the way to the Texas Rangers ML Tryouts hoping you could impress Nolan Ryan with your godlike batting skills, only to miss the easiest 7 curveballs ever thrown, snap the bat in half in a fit of rage, and try to take on the entire security team of Rangers Stadium before getting tazed and thrown in jail, where you met a supposed "highly experienced jailbreaker" currently in the clink for doing a solo square dance in the middle of CostCo while totally naked and high on bath salts, who helped you break out of jail and ended up dragging you along on a 6-hour car chase against the entire Arlington PD where you sat in the passenger seat of his rusted-over, chugging-along 70s Ford Falcon Hardtop while he screamed obscenities at the police and threw old candy bar wrappers filled with pebbles at them, only to crash over the side of a cliff in Yellowstone and dump the car in a raging river, where he and you managed to escape the sinking vehicle and make a camp in the woods, where you spent a week hiding from floodlights and the occasional errant grizzly bear until, out of sheer shocking luck, he found a massive deposit of gold while looking for a place to relieve himself in a nearby cave, letting the both of you get complete makeovers to hide from the police, buy out several major manufacturing companies, purchase a private island with a mansion in the Caribbean, and pay for a relentlessly gaudy and shallow lifestyle where, to this day, both he and you make an annual toast to how not a single person in the entire United States has ever been able to figure out who you really are?
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