there was once a grape named dingusse. he was a very voluptuous, round, beautifully shaped grape filled to the brim with juices and fruity nutrition for the Skin Hoppers (humans), but dingusse is a good little grape and avoided the clutches of natural selection by being publicly decent and not peeing on small unripe children. but one day, there was a job offering for fruit and vegetables galore! but here's the thing; there was a war between the vegetables and fruits ongoing. they hated each other's guts. fruits were envious of vegetables being used widely for things like salad or other healthy food items in the stomachs of Skin Hoppers, and the vegetables were horribly jealous of the fruits' popularity amongst sweet loving humans, their ability to be juiced and taste competent, and most importantly, their insides: the seeds. yes, they were envious of the seeds most of all. vegetables have always wanted to have seeds. some vegetables adapted to become accepted as fruits by growing seeds. did anything come to mind? yes, cucumbers, tomatoes, galore. i hate tomatoes. i love cucumbers. very delicious and watery, just like a savory watermelon. anyway, so dingusse heard about these fruit snack job offerings. they were paying a lot of money, and dingusse could afford to send his son dangusse to college when he grows up. dangusse, a baby green grape still unripe and unready to tackle the world, needs to be supported by his father dingusse. and so, dingusse was determined to get a spot as representative purple grape of the fruit snack army. but when he went to audition, there were so many vegetables. carrots, the rare purple carrots, cabbage, corn, spinach, lettuce, leaves, grass, wheat, bill mitchell, so, so many vegetables. dingusse was feeling scared. these were some of the moistest, most beautiful vegetables he had ever met. but dingusse? he needed to remember his son dangusse's words.
"dad, you have to believe in you and your round, voluptuous body. you are better than those seedless fools."
"dangusse is right," dingusse thought to himself. he needed to keep his head up. and so, he walked into the audition room and strut his stuff on the fruit x vegetable runway. the judges were in awe. they told dingusse, "we will be in contact with you shortly."
it was true! the very next day, they called dingusse at the ripe time of 8am and said, "dingusse, you're our grape. welcome aboard."
and so began dingusse's career as the solo grape of the vegetable packs brand. yup, he's the only fruit. sound familiar? those carrot imposters in MY fruit snacks. god. i hate it. i hate those vegetables. this isn't even related to the story; why is a carrot in MY PACK OF FRUIT SNACKS???? god. i hate it. i hate orange things. i hate lots of orange things. for example, not to get political, but------
~𝒻𝒾𝓃 ~
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