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  • Kirigiri
    October 25, 2020, 11:05 pm to Public
    Prepare yourselves for a mega rant! (please be warned that i will be talking in depth about mental health issues and if this is something you struggle with personally don't feel pressured to read this)




    I've been struggling with depression for a long time now, it first became really bad when I was in my first year at sixth form, we no longer had to wear school uniforms and I didn't really dress like the other girls who wore jeans and t-shirts I wore jumpers with pineapples on and I LIVE in skirts because I don't feel confident with how my butt looked in trousers, I got teased and rejected for my appearance, I dyed my hair Harley Quinn colours only for a girl to tell me I looked like a circus freak.

    more than once I was ostracised because of my appearance and my personality, I liked musicals and anime and people thought that was weird I made Minecraft skins and people thought I was babyish, people started making up nasty rumours about me, none which I care to repeat. after one incident where a girl saw me leaving the school therapist/ councillors office she told all the girls I sat with in registration and then promptly called me a drama queen and a pathological liar I didn't even say anything, after this particular incident I decided to sit with a girl from one of my classes who enjoyed anime and thought I was funny and clever and wasn't embarrassed to be seen around me, but I got tormented for this too because apparently it's not okay for the weird looking girl to be happy which just for the record if you are unique and you follow your own path ROCK IT be yourself don't be afraid and don't let people make you feel like trash because you don't conform.

    I've never been shy about the fact that I've considered and attempted self harm on more than one occasion It's not something I'm proud of and it's definitely not something that should ever be glorified like on thirteen reasons why (that show is trash by the way) then earlier this year my grandfather died, and I found it really hard to recover from, we hadn't been particularly close but at the same time he was my last living grandparent and the memories I did have from when he was alive made me sad that I hadn't had an opportunity to spend more time with him because he lived very far away from me. I inherited a lot of my grandmothers ornaments as well after my grandad died and it makes me sad I couldn't share my love of ornaments and antiques with her when she was alive. I only have the stories people tell me about them and barley any memories of my own.

    I find it really hard now to talk about my mental health because the stigma around it is so ridiculous, according to lateralmag.com "Exposure to mental illness starts early for consumers of popular culture, with 25% of characters in G and PG movies having a psychiatric illness and a whopping 50% of kids' TV shows referring to mental illness. In movies, the vast majority of characters with psychiatric illnesses are portrayed as violent or threatening, while in kids' TV shows, most characters with a mental illness tend to have unattractive physical features. They are either villains, or in comic relief roles involving ridiculous, often self-harming, actions like hitting their own head with a hammer. This often triggers other characters to ignore or laugh at them." what sort of a message is this teaching children that it's okay to laugh at the kids who are different or to be afraid of them because one day they might commit crimes? I know so many people with mental illnesses and they are so empathetic and kind and when you need them they are there for you! I am honoured to call these people some of my closest friends and their certainly not evil villains who are going to throw your loved ones off rooves or kick puppies! these villains aren't even written well. people with mental illness can be villainous but so can regular folk
    they often aren't villainous because of their condition but because of their childhood or some other trauma, but if you just slap on the mentally ill label it's like the only thing people see but people are more than their mental illnesses hero's villains civilians alike. but even then, trauma doesn't necessarily make you evil or villainous either, it's just different for everyone. plenty of people with trauma or ptsd are lovely people as well.


    all that aside people who make mental health some "kawaiii desuu" aesthetic are just as much a part of the problem as people who villainize it, with the influence of pop culture and social media, mental illness is being romanticized and viewed more as a trend than as serious health conditions. having BPD, OCD or Depression is not cute edgy or a personality trait it's something that so many people out there deal with on a daily basis. For an example that both villainizes and romanticizes mental illness, there's a trend in anime where stereotypically cutesy and girlish characters are "psychopathic," obsessed with blood, knives, and killing. People who struggle with mental illness are just trying their best to live their lives as normally as they can, they wish for normalcy. To see these characters be well loved for their "quirky" traits and interests is not helping the stigma around mental health at all. It glorifies the real struggle many people have and can exaggerate it in a way that makes the average person fearful of people with these conditions. It's not cute to be mentally ill, it's not cute to wakeup in the morning and regret that you didn't die in your sleep, it's not funny or clever to use it as an aesthetic and it can even be dangerous when celebrities use mental health and depression as their brand, The growing number of fans claiming to be depressed or anxious in an attempt to emulate their idols poses a grave threat for those truly struggling with mental health to be recognized. there should be more advertising for hotlines and charity's that support mental health and people need to take the time to properly research things instead of suggesting that because someone has a mental health condition they are to be feared and ostracized.

    Tldr: It's not cool to have a mental illness it sucks. people with mental illnesses are not villains they are human beings like everyone else. more awareness needs to be spread about mental health and lets face it schools don't really teach anything about mental health other than " DoN't Be DePrEsSeD " which let's be honest here is absolutely moronic advice!



    Thank You for getting to the end of this, i know this isn't exactly a light topic but it has been frustrating me of late
    valkyries-- said 2020-10-27 15:03:14
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    the way mental illnesses are portrayed as a "cool and edgy" aesthetic pisses me off to no end, like absolutely not.
    i was literally sobbing for hours yesterday (to the extent that my undereyes are raw and i woke up with swollen eyes) because of fear and anxiety welling up and finally causing me to just crack and genuinely be paralysed in one spot for hours.
    i'm not a monster or a villain just because i struggle with depression and anxiety.
    it's not something to fake, it's not a trend, it's not something to joke about.
    it's real, and it's hard, and it's unacceptable that people treat it the way they do.

    honey, rock those pineapple jumpers, wear those skirts, dye your hair those crazy colours.
    honestly, those girls can fuck right off.
    they don't know you, they don't define you.
    the only person who can define who you are is you, you are your own person.
    that's something i've struggled with for years. i've only recently started realising that no, their opinions don't define me, they don't matter, i can be who i want to be, i can do what i want to do, i can dress how i want to dress, and nobody can do anything about that.

    there will always be people who will think they can influence you, and change you. but at the same time there will be people who will support you in all that you do and those are the people you need to hold on tight to.

    focus on the happy, focus on the good, leave the regina georges under that bus and move on.

    you are so very special, you are so very loved and you deserve the very very best,
    believe that.
    Captain_JEK said 2020-10-26 16:20:59
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    Hey yo, but wearing skirts and dying your hair Harley Quinn colors is totally awesome!
    I feel like people will criticize you for anything that's different from how they would have done it. Literally anything: the way you move, the way you dress, the way you talk, the way you look at other people, the way you tilt your head... just anything.
    But that only is the case because they can't let you be the way you wanna be (not sure why that is the case tho, as if they had to impose their own world view on someone else, which is ridiculous because a "world view" is something personal shaped by experiences and thought processes that can't just be transferred to another person, unless they had many similar experiences and thought processes).

    On the other hand, there will also be people who admire you for the exact same reasons other people will criticize you for. In short, you can't make everyone happy. With that in mind, the only logical thing to do is to make sure that you are happy.
    Don't care too much about what other people tell you as it will be super contradictory anyway. Instead, do what you think is right and makes sense to do (as long as it doesn't impair others to also do what they think is right and makes sense to do, of course).

    That's the best solution I can come up with right now.
    I think, if every person just let every other person be the way they wanna be (as long as it doesn't impair anyone in their pursuit of being the way they wanna be), there would be so much more diversity and cool ideas and maybe even something like true peace.

    Just an idea though, I know the world is not that simple and people will always be fighting over some shit xD
    Welmish said 2020-10-26 09:05:50
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    ʕ ⊃・ ◡ ・ ʔ⊃
    Carcharodontosaurus said 2020-10-26 06:37:07
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    I'm just gonna say this as it is. If you dye your hair as Harley Quinn, a comment like "Circus Freak" is to be expected from kids. Just like when I tell people I listen to grindcore and death metal, some people will instantly think, that I want to do some of the messed up stuff a lot of the bands sing about. I am gonna assume you went to school or high-school, probably in the US, where people are more likely to be bullied compared to almost any other country. You said it yourself "be yourself and rock it". The people taunting you, know only what's on the surface, and because it's all alien to them, they often tend to go xenophobic. I have many odd traits compared to the norm too. When I meet new people, I usually flesh it out for them, because that's the only way they are fully going to understand who and what I am. And if that doesn't cut it, well no problemo, can't make friends with the whole world. When you're too "in your face" with your style or attitude, then the comments you get, are often going to be the same, because there is a lot of stupid people in the world. A great deal of medias are run by stupid or judgemental people, Disney Channel being a great example. I've always hated the Disney Channel, because pretty much every show back when I was a kid, would portray the "nerds" as complete losers. Same went for metalheads, or the quirky side characters. Shows like that, are the whole reason why a lot of kids associate the word "nerd" as a bad thing. Kids are brutal, because they will say exactly what comes to mind, even if it's hurting. You can only roll with the punches, and not show them that they're getting to you, because that's what feeds them. Reaction. It's like if you show a dog that you're afraid of it, then it will most certainly start getting more aggressive.
    Sugar_Latte said 2020-10-26 05:59:59
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    Yes this was long, but it was worth it.

    Mental illnesses are definitely treated wrong. If I happened to tell my family 'hey I have a mental illness,' they would immediately treat me like a freak, and would never let me go anywhere alone, because they would think I'm on my way to throw myself off a cliff. Which is absurd, because I would never do that, no mater how sick I am.

    People with mental illnesses are normal people, with feelings and heads and brains and a sense of right and wrong. They are not crazy, dangerous 'creatures' who are out to destroy themselves and other people. (Well, most of the time. It depends on which mental illness you have.) And it can be painful to have a mental illness. It isn't easy. People who have mental illnesses realise that they have it. They don't just go around thinking they're fine, obsessed with blood and knives and killing. And I think that they can be the nicest, most understanding people. I sometimes get so frustrated because of this.

    I really hope you feel better soon!

    Also I received the virtual love, sending some for you now. <3
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  • Kirigiri
    October 24, 2020, 10:03 pm to Public
    Hardcrafter said 2020-10-25 06:39:38
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    It's crazy because the placement of the word "only" in that statement can completely change the context of the statement.
    Ladvi said 2020-10-24 22:42:46
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    This scares me. Who could've done this, what sort of mad scientist did this.
    Kirigiri replied to Yeerbles's comment below 2020-10-24 22:11:43
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    you should see what else I found while browsing pinterest


    it wasn't drugs though sorry XD
    Yeerbles replied to Kirigiri's comment below 2020-10-24 22:10:44
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    whoever made it clearly had some kind of drug going on in their system
    what said drug was i really want to know
    Kirigiri replied to Yeerbles's comment below 2020-10-24 22:08:55
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    it really is XD
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