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ThatTortoiseMC •6/6/25 1:21

Entity0 CreepyPasta original skin
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Minecraft Bedrock Amazing Seeds!
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Herobrine (Creepy-Pasta Model) Perfect to scare ur friends!
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ThatTortoiseMC •5/16/25 1:07
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Kirbycope 4/7/23 7:28 • posted 3/27/23 12:47
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ThatTortoiseNEWS!
🗞️ THATTORTOISENEWS | Minecraftia's #1 Totally Real News Source

"If it's blocky, we cover it!"

🎙️ LIVE from Minecraftia City...

🧱 HEADLINE: Villagers Riot Over Bread Prices, Claim “Emeralds Ain’t What They Used to Be”

MINECRAFTIA CITY — Chaos broke out in the town square today as dozens of Villagers formed a protest outside the Farmer’s Hut chanting, “Hrmm hrmm HMMM!” which roughly translates to “We want baguettes, not budget bread!”

Local Farmer Bob attempted to calm the crowd by tossing out a few loaves of bread but was immediately swarmed by angry nitwits demanding discounts and free carrots.

“We’re tired of trading 26 potatoes for ONE emerald and then spending THREE emeralds for a single slice of wheat toast!” shouted one angry Villager, who identified himself only as "Hrmm."

🎣 BREAKING: Fisherman Arrested After Smuggling Tropical Fish in Suspicious Buckets

Authorities in Ocean Block District caught a local fisherman sneaking suspicious “tropical fish” through customs in what appeared to be enchanted buckets. When questioned, the fisherman claimed they were “emotional support fish” and not contraband.

Police found 42 clownfish and a single suspicious salmon named "Barry."

Barry refused to comment.

💥 ACCIDENT ALERT: Creeper Enters Library, Claims He Was Just Browsing

A small explosion occurred this morning in the Minecraftia Public Library after a Creeper entered uninvited and wandered into the "Quiet Zone."

Witnesses say the Creeper mumbled something about wanting to “learn how to be less explosive,” before blowing up near the redstone engineering books.

No villagers were harmed, but one librarian has filed for early respawn leave.

🐔 RANDOM FACT: Chicken Claims To Have Flown For 2 Full Blocks, Immediately Laughed Out of Aviator School

👀 Coming Up Next on ThatTortoiseNEWS:
- - Enderman Sues Player for “Unwanted Eye Contact”
- - Zombie Starts Vegan Diet, Only Eats Apples Now
- - Breaking: Pig Becomes Mayor of Piglin Town Using Only Grunts and Truffle Bribes
Stay tuned, stay blocky, and remember: if a llama spits at you, you probably deserved it.

— ThatTortoiseNEWS, signing off with a “Hrmm!” and a half-eaten baked potato.
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