Item #: SCP-999-J
Object Class: Keter
Description: SCP-999-J is an overweight, Caucasian, balding male devoid of all clothing beyond that of a Speedo brand pair of swim briefs, henceforth to be referred to as SCP-999-J-1. SCP-999-J is capable of teleporting onto any bed, although it appears he prefers them to be occupied. He will lie there and breathe heavily with his mouth open until the subject awakens, at which point he'll look at the subject and then slowly reach his hand into SCP-999-J-1. SCP-999-J will then pull out some form of non-anomalous object, most commonly a can of Surge or a generic trading card.

www.scp-wiki.net/scp-999-j