What is this I don’t even? I’ve seen a lot of art blogs and stuff going around recently and I felt a sort of compilation of my own was in order. Unfortunately though, I have the artistic talent of a drowned goldfish so an art blog was out of the question. So behold, the fruit of my labours…

One of the most poorly compiled compilation blogs of all time…

My attempts, at limericks…

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One day I was playing Minecraft
And I suddenly felt very daft
I built my home
Out of crap cobblestone
Now I live in my mineshaft


I once thought I saw Herobrine
When I was running around in my mine
His pupils were white
And I had a fright
When he was standing right there the whole time


We should send an email to Jeb
And ask if he thinks Minecraft is dead
Of course he’ll say no
But if Hell starts to snow
It’ll fall like a balloon made of lead


One day I was punching a pig
It made me feel really quite big
But now I’m a weeper
As out came a creeper
The explosion, my own grave it did dig


In the cave I had a shock
I found some shiny blue rock
But I started to cry
It’s lapis lazuli
Was this just put here for a mock?


Be sure not to run out of torches
As those monsters can be remorseless
To keep from being dead
You should sleep in a bed
Ideally in your blocky fortress


Farming this wheat is a bore
It should be against the law
I pull out my sword
But I can’t afford
A revolution so I’ll sit here some more


Seen so much ‘not budder, it’s gold’
That it’s really getting quite old
I no longer care
So I think it is fair
That we leave future complaints untold


I caught someone griefing my build
I said that I would have them killed
But he was the owner
And I was a loner
I was banned as soon as he willed


One thing that quite amuses me
Is when someone says “I’m from PMC”
They’re really not bright
As when I ask them outright
For their PMC name they abuse me


Why did Mojang call him Steve?
That name makes me quite want to grieve
Not because it’s offensive
‘Cause I’m apprehensive
That all the fans will want to leave


Be careful when out mining dirt
You might get some on your shirt
At least it won’t stain
That would be a pain
But those big blocks look like they hurt


Not everything in Minecraft makes sense
Much like the addition of fence
It’s great for some folk
But for me it’s a joke
I’ve been glitching on top since thence


If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that never
Never go down to the Nether
There’s nothing to get
But you mustn’t forget
You’ll need much stronger armour than leather


I can’t figure out about glass
Why it always shatters so fast
You don’t get the item
So we should just smite ‘em
But then no more windows, aghast


Sometimes when one’s nearing the End
Through the stronghold one will rend
But out pops a creature
It’s not a nice feature
Against silverfish you can’t defend


Wonder if I really can write?
Or if reading these things is a plight
This ain’t MC related
So maybe belated
Creepers, there that’ll be a’ight

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So yeah, that’s all folks. I can only hope these weren’t too embarrassingly bad, if you got a chuckle out of one or two of them then I’d call it a success. If people like these I may make more, if people hate these then we can always bury them in a faraway place and never speak of them again.

This is not a serious blog in any way.

Thanks for reading.

- Torm