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Mega Torch: Episode 1: Nether Quest
TRUE STORY
So I'm sitting down, playing minecraft on my computer, okay? I've been on the same map for a few hours, which isn't normal since I barely ever play on a single map for more than an hour and a half, so I'm really into this survival map I'm in. I've built this awesome gigantic house with protection turrets, underground mine shafts, piston machines and whats-not. So I'm just building a creeper trap inside my kitchen which I probably will NEVER need but it seems cool and I get this idea to make a giant torch on top of my house so If I ever go out I'll never get lost, so I use my piston elevator to go to the roof top and make a giant, medieval looking torch thingy out of wood and stone, wood where I want the fire to burn, okay? I light the thing with my flint and steel and I'm like YEAAAAAHHH!!! MEGA TORCH!!! I go back down the elevator and out the door so I can see the torch from down here. I can't. I go back up to check and sure enough, the fire has eaten up my mega torch. I try dirt but the flame dies down. I try several other things until I get frustrated and go to minecraft wiki to look up a solution. Turns out I need this nether dirt or something like that so the fire burns forever, but it can only be found in the Nether, so I'm like YEAAAAAHHH!!! Nether Quest!!! But then it hits me. OBSIDIAN. It's a crucial ingredient to get to the Nether. And it's effing hard to mine. I get back in minecraft and get my pickaxe. SHOWTIME. YEAAAAAHHH!!!
So I go down to my mineshafts to find lava, okay? I also brought several buckets of water to turn lava into obsidian, some ladders, and wooden planks, okay? So I'm down there underground in my man-made shafts walking about with my pickaxe when I walk about a large chasm filled with lava and I'm like YEAAAAAHHH!!! I place some ladders and slowly make my way down, close enough to the lava to perform my deed, mining some needed coal along the way. I get to the lava and check it's only one block deep so my mined obsidian doesn't fall into lava, okay? I make a little fort so the water current doesn't take me when I empty my bucket and I empty the bucket. The lava sizzles and turns into obsidian as quickly as it could melt my pick to a pulp I destroy my little fort and start mining the OBSIDIAN. This takes quite some time since OBSIDIAN is so damn hard!!! I mine the OBSIDIAN for so long I start to think of giving up but my diamond pick is too powerful and I'm good to go. Now with my newly formed obsidian, I climb back out of the chasm, through my shafts, and into my house, okay? I build a new room with some spare planks and start building my Nether Portal inside the room. I light it up with some flint and steel and I'm feeling all gangsta cause I built my own Nether Portal, right?
I notice the sun is sinking so I run up to my room and go to bed and, like it is with beds in minecraft, I wake up immediately to sunlight and run back down to my Nether Portal room. As I'm getting closer to the room I notice my once peaceful elevator now sounds as if it's been possessed thanks to the Portal in the other room. So I think of moving my portal but decide NO! Because of, of course, OBSIDIAN. It would take too much time to destroy and move the portal so I just suck it up like an HOMBRE, put on my armor, get my sword, bow, and of course, my shovel. I step into the portal and my world goes all wiggly and I'm in the Nether. Now, quick observation on the Nether. It's hell. :)
So I'm in the Nether and think: What the heck am I doing here? I scratch my actual head and am about to head home when I hear a moaning demon cry out, and I hear the sound of something dangerous getting shot out of something else. I do a quick 180 and see a gigantic fireball flying towards me. Out of random nerve, I hit it with my sword and the fireball bounces forward. It hits a weird white thing floating in midair and it shoots another set of fireballs. I go all Nether Warrior on his butt and get the balls to fly back towards the big white disinflating balloon until it dies, okay? I'm like YEAAAAAHHH!!! LIKE A BOSS!!! Now I remember why I'm in the Nether, thanks to the giant fireball flying towards me issue, and so I set off on a small quest to find Nether dirt which is quickly killed thanks to the facts the Nether is basically made out of the Nether dirt. I dig up several 64s of the dirt which I now was excessive and go back to the portal. Just as I'm going back into the real world I spot some Nether Caveman. I can't resist the temptation so I go look at these the Piggy Zombie Caveman things and I'm surprised they don't attack me. I'm just observing their texture when one walks towards me and almost pushes me into the lava of the Nether. I'm like WHAT? WHAT'S ALL DIS? NO! NO ACCEPTABLE!!! I take up my sword and quickly kill the beast. Annoyed a little, I walk back to the portal and I'm all "NOBODY MESSES WIS DA MASTA" when I pass some wild Pig Zombie thingy and it attacks me. To my terror, all his dumb, rebellious teenage Piggy buddies think it's a good idea to join him! So here I am, running away from all these Pig creatures thinking three things:
One: FUDGE! DAMN! DAMN! FUDGE!
Two: Fighting back is not an option since there are too many Piggies.
and Three: DAMN! Here comes an evil white balloon! DAMN!
I have an idea! Balloon go shooty shooty, me go dodgy dodgy, piggies go boomy boomy, and all is happy! So I put my plan to the test. I wait for the right time and I dodge the fireball when the balloon shoots at me and it kills a large portion of the piggies, leaving me in a good position. I quickly kill the last piggy and face the white balloon. It goes EEEEEEEE and I go YEAAAAAHHH and it shoots a fireball and I'm still going YEAAAAAHHH while I deflect it and several more afterwards until they pop the balloon. I'm feeling all heroic so I make a huge DA WALL of DA MASTA where the piggies died with some Nether dirt in honor of my awesomeness and head home. I get to the portal and run to it as if it was the middle of the night and I thought there were monsters in the darkness until I get to it and finally get home.
So I get into the real world and I'm like YEAAAAAHHH!!! I go up the elevator and on the roof and I feel like a three year old on Christmas Eve as I place one Nether dirt block in the Mega Torch. Two blocks in the Mega Torch. Three blocks in the Mega Torch. Three blocks in the Mega Torch. Three blocks in the Mega Torch. Wait......... Damn.....
That night I learned a few things:
1. Never make giant walls in your honor with materials you'll need later.
2. Never hurt Zombie Piggy thingies if you value your safety.
3. Beware white balloons.
4. Nether Portals in your house are really creepy, especially how they sound.
and 5. A trip to the Nether for ANY REASON isn't worth it.
Please Comment... ;)
Check out Mega Torch: Episode 4: SHEEP QUEST!!!!
TRUE STORY
So I'm sitting down, playing minecraft on my computer, okay? I've been on the same map for a few hours, which isn't normal since I barely ever play on a single map for more than an hour and a half, so I'm really into this survival map I'm in. I've built this awesome gigantic house with protection turrets, underground mine shafts, piston machines and whats-not. So I'm just building a creeper trap inside my kitchen which I probably will NEVER need but it seems cool and I get this idea to make a giant torch on top of my house so If I ever go out I'll never get lost, so I use my piston elevator to go to the roof top and make a giant, medieval looking torch thingy out of wood and stone, wood where I want the fire to burn, okay? I light the thing with my flint and steel and I'm like YEAAAAAHHH!!! MEGA TORCH!!! I go back down the elevator and out the door so I can see the torch from down here. I can't. I go back up to check and sure enough, the fire has eaten up my mega torch. I try dirt but the flame dies down. I try several other things until I get frustrated and go to minecraft wiki to look up a solution. Turns out I need this nether dirt or something like that so the fire burns forever, but it can only be found in the Nether, so I'm like YEAAAAAHHH!!! Nether Quest!!! But then it hits me. OBSIDIAN. It's a crucial ingredient to get to the Nether. And it's effing hard to mine. I get back in minecraft and get my pickaxe. SHOWTIME. YEAAAAAHHH!!!
So I go down to my mineshafts to find lava, okay? I also brought several buckets of water to turn lava into obsidian, some ladders, and wooden planks, okay? So I'm down there underground in my man-made shafts walking about with my pickaxe when I walk about a large chasm filled with lava and I'm like YEAAAAAHHH!!! I place some ladders and slowly make my way down, close enough to the lava to perform my deed, mining some needed coal along the way. I get to the lava and check it's only one block deep so my mined obsidian doesn't fall into lava, okay? I make a little fort so the water current doesn't take me when I empty my bucket and I empty the bucket. The lava sizzles and turns into obsidian as quickly as it could melt my pick to a pulp I destroy my little fort and start mining the OBSIDIAN. This takes quite some time since OBSIDIAN is so damn hard!!! I mine the OBSIDIAN for so long I start to think of giving up but my diamond pick is too powerful and I'm good to go. Now with my newly formed obsidian, I climb back out of the chasm, through my shafts, and into my house, okay? I build a new room with some spare planks and start building my Nether Portal inside the room. I light it up with some flint and steel and I'm feeling all gangsta cause I built my own Nether Portal, right?
I notice the sun is sinking so I run up to my room and go to bed and, like it is with beds in minecraft, I wake up immediately to sunlight and run back down to my Nether Portal room. As I'm getting closer to the room I notice my once peaceful elevator now sounds as if it's been possessed thanks to the Portal in the other room. So I think of moving my portal but decide NO! Because of, of course, OBSIDIAN. It would take too much time to destroy and move the portal so I just suck it up like an HOMBRE, put on my armor, get my sword, bow, and of course, my shovel. I step into the portal and my world goes all wiggly and I'm in the Nether. Now, quick observation on the Nether. It's hell. :)
So I'm in the Nether and think: What the heck am I doing here? I scratch my actual head and am about to head home when I hear a moaning demon cry out, and I hear the sound of something dangerous getting shot out of something else. I do a quick 180 and see a gigantic fireball flying towards me. Out of random nerve, I hit it with my sword and the fireball bounces forward. It hits a weird white thing floating in midair and it shoots another set of fireballs. I go all Nether Warrior on his butt and get the balls to fly back towards the big white disinflating balloon until it dies, okay? I'm like YEAAAAAHHH!!! LIKE A BOSS!!! Now I remember why I'm in the Nether, thanks to the giant fireball flying towards me issue, and so I set off on a small quest to find Nether dirt which is quickly killed thanks to the facts the Nether is basically made out of the Nether dirt. I dig up several 64s of the dirt which I now was excessive and go back to the portal. Just as I'm going back into the real world I spot some Nether Caveman. I can't resist the temptation so I go look at these the Piggy Zombie Caveman things and I'm surprised they don't attack me. I'm just observing their texture when one walks towards me and almost pushes me into the lava of the Nether. I'm like WHAT? WHAT'S ALL DIS? NO! NO ACCEPTABLE!!! I take up my sword and quickly kill the beast. Annoyed a little, I walk back to the portal and I'm all "NOBODY MESSES WIS DA MASTA" when I pass some wild Pig Zombie thingy and it attacks me. To my terror, all his dumb, rebellious teenage Piggy buddies think it's a good idea to join him! So here I am, running away from all these Pig creatures thinking three things:
One: FUDGE! DAMN! DAMN! FUDGE!
Two: Fighting back is not an option since there are too many Piggies.
and Three: DAMN! Here comes an evil white balloon! DAMN!
I have an idea! Balloon go shooty shooty, me go dodgy dodgy, piggies go boomy boomy, and all is happy! So I put my plan to the test. I wait for the right time and I dodge the fireball when the balloon shoots at me and it kills a large portion of the piggies, leaving me in a good position. I quickly kill the last piggy and face the white balloon. It goes EEEEEEEE and I go YEAAAAAHHH and it shoots a fireball and I'm still going YEAAAAAHHH while I deflect it and several more afterwards until they pop the balloon. I'm feeling all heroic so I make a huge DA WALL of DA MASTA where the piggies died with some Nether dirt in honor of my awesomeness and head home. I get to the portal and run to it as if it was the middle of the night and I thought there were monsters in the darkness until I get to it and finally get home.
So I get into the real world and I'm like YEAAAAAHHH!!! I go up the elevator and on the roof and I feel like a three year old on Christmas Eve as I place one Nether dirt block in the Mega Torch. Two blocks in the Mega Torch. Three blocks in the Mega Torch. Three blocks in the Mega Torch. Three blocks in the Mega Torch. Wait......... Damn.....
That night I learned a few things:
1. Never make giant walls in your honor with materials you'll need later.
2. Never hurt Zombie Piggy thingies if you value your safety.
3. Beware white balloons.
4. Nether Portals in your house are really creepy, especially how they sound.
and 5. A trip to the Nether for ANY REASON isn't worth it.
Please Comment... ;)
Check out Mega Torch: Episode 4: SHEEP QUEST!!!!
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Update #3 : by Beast Steve 03/11/2012 5:15:00 pmMar 11th, 2012
Added check out sheep quest 4!
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off topic: How you doin' Steve? Still out there?