Star Wars is a franchise that’s experienced its fair share of ups and downs.  Actually, it was one big up, followed by one miserable, unending down.  I’m speaking, of course, about the original trilogy and the prequel trilogy.

But that’s all over now.  The new generation of Star Wars films has been thrust upon us, and it starts with The Force Awakens.  I’ll be blunt; I have good news and bad news.  The good news: this film is great.  The bad news: you’ve already seen it.

No, I’m not referring to the lucky few who got advanced screenings, or the celebrities and journalists who attended the world premiere.  I’m referring to those who have seen A New Hope.  If you haven’t seen A New Hope, I think I speak for everyone when I say how dare you!

Now, don’t get me wrong.  The Force Awakens is one hundred million times better than any of the prequel films.  No silly Jar Jar antics, no convoluted political plot nonsense, and no mention of the unmentionable term ‘Midi-Chlorian’.  Star Wars has been redeemed, but there’s a problem.

The plot in this film is an exact copy of A New Hope.  No, seriously, it’s the same movie.  So, luckily for you, you don’t even have to go to the theater to understand exactly what happens in The Force Awakens.  As long as you’ve seen A New Hope, you can just refer to this chart (Warning: Spoilers!).


There, see, you don’t even need to spend 10 dollars to see this movie.  Just re-watch A New Hope and use your imagination to supplement everything in that list.  It’s great because I don’t even have to go through the trouble of writing a plot synopsis.  Granted, Palpatine and Yoda weren’t in A New Hope, but then again Luke and Snoke have barely anything to do with the plot of The Force Awakens either.

So how does one rate something that was so well done, and yet so unbelievably rehashed?  I’m not sure.  I’ve never experienced anything this unoriginal, and mind you, I’ve seen Avatar.  But I think that the prequels can help alleviate my burden.

You see, I learned a very important lesson from the Star Wars prequels.  It’s a lesson I’ll carry with me until the day I die.  And the lesson is this: I would rather watch something with an unoriginal plot, than watch Anakin Skywalker moan and cry about his mom and talk to his girlfriend about the qualities of sand, while Jar Jar runs around babbling and flailing his arms like a mental invalid.  And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a lesson I’m sure we all share.

So it’s a good thing that The Force Awakens manages to capture the look and feel of the original trilogy so well.  The main trio has a chemistry that bears similarities to Luke, Leia and Han.  However, I think it needs to be noted that Rey, Finn and Poe are lesser versions of the aforementioned characters.  They are basically knockoffs, designed to mimic one of the most beloved group of characters in the history of film.

Concordantly, the use of practical effects in The Force Awakens is certainly commendable, especially in this day and age.  I think we all experienced a profound hatred for the non-stop CGI ridiculousness that was present in the prequels.  It’s good to finally get back to the basics.  And the soundtrack and sound effects were reminiscent of the original trilogy as well.

So, I am able (barely) to overlook the fact that The Force Awakens is a soft remake of A New Hope.  However, I have other concerns about this new chapter in the Star Wars franchise.

Concern 1: The Set Up

My first problem is that Episode VII seems to be heading in the same direction as the original trilogy.  As I said before, I am able to overlook the unoriginality of The Force Awakens.  However, I am unable to condone Episode VIII being an exact copy of The Empire Strikes Back.  I don’t want to see Star Wars Episode VIII: The New Order Strikes Back.

Disney needs to allow Star Wars to change and find its own niche.  This doesn’t mean that it has to abandon the look and feel of the original trilogy.  Originality and quality are not mutually exclusive.  It’s possible to execute both.

Star Wars Episode VIII and beyond has to ditch the Millennium Falcon and the other nostalgic motifs that weigh down The Force Awakens.  It has to become a new and exciting series of its own.

Concern 2: Why were Gwendoline Christy and Max von Sydow in this?

No, seriously, what was the point?  Both of these actors have around 5 lines in The Force Awakens, and they have virtually no weight in the plot.  Who the hell casts Max von Sydow, one of the best actors of his generation, to play such a small and simple role?

I’m even more disappointed that they didn’t give Captain Phasma any screen time whatsoever.  The few lines that she had were basically just ‘storm trooper filler’ that could have been delivered by regular storm troopers anyway.  Why introduce an upper-echelon storm trooper, if you’re not going to use her?

Concern 3: Kylo Ren

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the biggest of my concerns.  I’m sure we’re all aware that the overall success or failure of any Star Wars film is heavily based on the quality of the villain.  Brace yourselves, because what I’m about to say may be disturbing.  Kylo Ren has similar characteristics to Anakin Skywalker in the prequels.  I know, it’s horrifying.

Anakin Skywalker, as played by Hayden Christensen, is arguably the worst written character in the history of film.  A whiny, insecure, and overall lame human being who deems it necessary to bring utter melodrama to any and every situation he comes across.  And Kylo Ren, as played by Adam Driver, is basically Anakin Skywalker-lite.

Now, having said that, Kylo Ren is not nearly as bad.  Usually, he’s pretty menacing and Vader-like.  But every once in a while, he gets mopey and depressed.  And when that happens, well, you get the idea.

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Conclusion:

So what is this film?  Is it a soft remake of the start of one of the greatest sci-fi trilogies of all time?  Is it a homage or a ripoff?  Is it destined for crushing failure or unmitigated success?  I don’t know the answers yet, but I have a feeling we’ll get a better idea when the next one comes out.

What I can tell you is The Force Awakens does a lot of things well.  It’s a simplistic and pure storyline with a lot of good character interactions.  But, at the same time, none of these interactions are original, and the simplistic plot is the same plot everyone saw back in 1977.

It’s a good movie, it’s just not taking the next step it needs to.  It’s waiting at the base of a large staircase, trying to decide if it wants to go up or not.  Surely there are talented writers out there who can craft something original.  Or perhaps Disney just doesn’t care.  Maybe they just want to cash in on the 4 billion dollar investment they made.

Whatever the case, it will be interesting to see how well The Force Awakens does financially, even though it may not affect how far Disney is willing to diverge from the original trilogy.  Regardless, I’m giving this one 3 stars.  See you guys in 2017!