Level 45 : Master Baconator
Posted 04/25/12 2:59:21 pm
"So, just to be perfectly clear," Wigliff said carefully, "you actually TALK to that big, shiny black thing that the Topians took me to?"
Branwen tapped the side of her head. "Yup, in here."
"And... if you think about something hard enough, it'll MAKE it for you?" Wigliff asked.
"And what's it saying now?" Wigliff wondered aloud.
"Cube thinks you're a nosy, prying bastard," Branwen said, slurring her words only slightly. "On the upside, it thinks you're slightly more trustworthy than a barrel full of zombies."
"It did NOT say that!" Wigliff said, slightly dismayed.
Branwen nodded. "Almost word-for-word."
"The why did it chose me to come here?" Wigliff asked in a wounded tone of voice.
Branwen dropped her head down onto the table and covered it with her hands. She slurred drunkenly, "Computers. That's some seriously strong beer."
"What about computers?" Wigliff asked, trying to get the woman to sit up. She did, but leaned to one side.
"Something about understanding them... being able to speak their language... I think I'm really tired."
"I think you're really drunk," Wigliff noted. "Come on, we'll find a place for you to sleep." Wigliff lifted Branwen up out of her chair and held her steady until she could support herself on her legs.
"Oooooh, no," Branwen said, leaning against the guard. "I'm not THAT drunk. I'm not... going... to... zzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzz." She started snoring into Wigliff's shoulder.
"Hey. You. Wigliff," the Cube said.
Wigliff was so surprised he almost dropped the snoozing woman.
"Hello?" Wigliff said aloud. "Who's there?"
"It's me, the Cube, you idiot. I can contact you because you're touching Branwen. And now that I know where you are, I'll implode your brain if you hurt her."
"I'm NOT going to hurt her," Wigliff replied huffily. "I'm going to tuck her into bed and let her sleep off the beer. And you really can't do that, can you?" he asked. "Implode my brain, I mean?"
"I'm not exactly sure," the Cube admitted, "But I'm sure you don't want me experimenting to find out."
"You're really rather jealous for a Cube," Wigliff pointed out.
"Well... you're really rather... ummm... hairy," the Cube replied.
"Not too used to slinging insults, are you?" Wigliff asked, half-dragging Branwen out of the bar. Hopefully, anyone watching him would think he was talking to the woman leaning against him.
"I'm out of practice," the Cube agreed. "You can just think your replies you know, you don't have to talk out loud."
"Ok, that'll work better," Wigliff thought in reply. "So what was Branwen saying about you wanting me for my ability to talk to computers?"
"Your occupation. What you did on Earth. You talked to computers for a living," the Cube said.
"I was a computer programmer," Wigliff replied.
"You made things. Using computers," the Cube continued.
"Well, yes, I made programs, games, graphics..."
"Good. Then you can talk to me and make things. It's really hard to figure out what Branwen wants. She's a messy thinker. Especially now. Are you good looking? She thinks you're good looking by the way."
Wigliff had the decency to actually blush. "I don't think you should tell me things that she's thinking. It's kind of... rude. Are you asking me to PROGRAM you?"
"Well, yes. What did you think I was? I'm an unfathomably ancient, crystal-based computer. Obviously." The Cube actually managed to sound smug.
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