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This is My 1st Story So Dont Hate
It was a foggy night in the Rebel Woods. Nathan looked out the window he saw his parents pulling in the driveway. He looked out his window but he saw nothing but a white faced man in the distance. He locked him self in his bedroom. That wasn't enough though to stop the white faced man.
The next day he saw a blur of his parents and his one other brother Peter beside his hopital bed on the fifth story of the hopsital. So his brother walked out the hospital with his brother with his ears ripped off and his eyes punctured.
When Peter left the hospital he looked back at the floor his brother was on. Coming around the corner of the hopsital was that mysterious white faced man.
Be Creatvie. Be Smart. Be Funny
It was a foggy night in the Rebel Woods. Nathan looked out the window he saw his parents pulling in the driveway. He looked out his window but he saw nothing but a white faced man in the distance. He locked him self in his bedroom. That wasn't enough though to stop the white faced man.
The next day he saw a blur of his parents and his one other brother Peter beside his hopital bed on the fifth story of the hopsital. So his brother walked out the hospital with his brother with his ears ripped off and his eyes punctured.
When Peter left the hospital he looked back at the floor his brother was on. Coming around the corner of the hopsital was that mysterious white faced man.
Be Creatvie. Be Smart. Be Funny
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Update #2 : by uhNotSoYolo 10/20/2012 10:04:21 pmOct 20th, 2012
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in the begining of the myth they saw a painting of a child crying aswell as the mom becaulse the child was being swept away by the slender manthen he disserpeird200 years later he reapeard and tryed to steal the kings throne (egypt)then he diserpered again and then he appeired in germany and was stabbed in the stomach and his two back legs where cut off then he disserpeirdtoday he stalks the american froobs and then takes them away from the momehs :<
1. Needs a build up.
2. 'He sprinted towards him' NOOOO, Most famous scary stories have the person running away. It is a lot more creepier.
3. The first paragraph is kinda hard to understand, 'He ran out screaming 'HIHIHIHIHIHI IM A ESCAPED MENTAL PATIENT, but he saw nothing but a white man in the difference'
4. I reccomend doing something else APART from slenderman stories, jeff the killer, smile dawg etc the most famous, it's just the cliches, puts people off ur storie.
It's a good story though, good grammar (THANK GOD) and nice trick at the end.
Creepypasta