About two years ago, there was no doubt I was a complete NOOB.
 I downloaded The Minecraft PE free version app and died almost automatically. But I was hooked. I played the free version for a few weeks before buying the paid version. I was still a wee noob.
 When it asked me which seed I wanted I litterally typed 'carrot' because I though it meant an actual  seed type. I then saw all the seeds available and changed it to 'wheat'.
 I know, I was an idiot.
 I got really excited when I found coal. Like, REALLY excited. It's the equivalent of a non-noob defeating the Ender Dragon.
 I used to play creative like 24/7 until I got better at survival.
And that's just the beggining.
I had no idea what a mod, texture pack, map, or anything the slightest bit technical was.
I tried to make a creeper my pet.
That failed epicly.
*facepalm-sighs-and sobs*
I saved up to buy the PC version. 
It took me five tries to even connect to a server, and when I did-
I had no idea what everyone was talking about.
"Hey, I got kicked from that PvP" 
"Dood I kicked butt at factions!!!"
"Yo I just got ranked up"
SO Much confusion!
My skin was Steve and I had no idea how to change that. And I'm a girl so it was really bothering me.
Then this girl started hitting on me.
Imagine how awkward it was on my end explaining to her I was a girl.
So yeah, that was some stories... Hopefully they made you smile and remember the good old days.