If you've never seen any movies in the Sharknado series, I would suggest you stop reading this now, as I will be spouting out MAJOR spoilers. But, then again, I don't want to put through the actual pain and suffering of watching it, so I guess continue at your own risk. I'm being serious, this is one of the worst series I have ever watched, so please be careful, especially around the sharks. They'll bite your leg off with their terrible special effects. Are you scared yet? If not, let's head right into the storm.

Since its first movie in 2013, Sharknado has been one of the highlights of my summer. I honestly just love watching how stupid it could get, with me thinking it couldn't possibly get worse. Yet, I'm wrong each time. I mean, killing sharks with the President as your partner with a golden chainsaw? I honestly couldn't believe it. And then Sharknado: The Fourth Awakens comes out. There is honestly no point in me making an honest review since it's so stupid, it's a masterpiece. So what am I going to be talking about, you ask? Well, that answer is very simple. I will be explaining to you in the many ways the Sharknado series is beautiful and majestic, and to give you tips on how to survive its horrors.

For all you Sharknado newbies out there, let's start with the first movie. This is as simple as it gets, since we only have one sharknado to teach you the basics. First thing you need to know about sharknadoes is that even though the sharks might be fish out of water, they are still alive and deadly. Don't question it, just accept it and expect it. In order to prevent a gory demise, always keep a weapon, especially a chainsaw, on hand. That way, you can break the laws of physics and divert the falling shark away from you. Now, does anyone know how to stop a sharknado? Anyone? I guess not. Well, you must throw bombs in the tornado until it dissipates. Also, try not to get swallowed by giant sharks while you are up in the air. However, do not panic if you do. The shark's guts will cushion your fall and we can cut you out of the shark's stomach if needed. This is only your first lesson, as you will need more experience to deal with other sharknadoes.

Sharknadoes do not only appear in LA, as they can form in New York, despite New York's location being unable to support such a storm. Remember, never question the sharknado. Also, sharknadoes can appear anywhere in the atmosphere, even the cruising altitude for commercial airlines. Watch your fingers, as the sharks can break through the metal of the plane and bite your hand off, but you do not have to worry about the cabin losing pressure, as you can still breathe normally. When fighting off sharks, the big sharks are not your only problem, as little sharks can still bite and attach themselves to your leg. Do not seek medical treatment for this wound, as they come off easily and there shall be no bleeding. Now here is where the unique sharknado thing comes in. Not all sharknadoes are weak to bombs. Some require a colder temperature, so a lightning bolt and a tank of Freon should do the trick. But remember, sharks are still falling from the sky, so use whatever you can to stop them, even if it means getting a buzzsaw as a prosthetic hand. And yes, before you ask, flamethrowers made from water guns, gasoline, and a lighter is an effective weapon. That was a question, right? No? Moving on, then.

Now that you have survived two sharknadoes, you may now consider yourselves American heroes. But you are still my trainees, so LISTEN UP! Now, when you receive your golden chainsaws from the president of the United States of America, and a sharknado hits Washington D.C., what do you do? Ah, there's the answer I was looking for! The correct answer is to kill sharks with your golden chainsaw alongside the president! Good job! You get a sticker for that! However, that is not the only sharknado forming, as there is one forming in Orlando, where your family is enjoying their day at Universal Studios. Make sure to evacuate all rides, as sharks can ride the rails of rollercoasters and swallow you whole. Now, can anyone tell me what it is called when multiple sharknadoes merg into one giant storm? Yes, thank you, it is called a "sharkicane". You also get a sticker. Now in order to deal with such a storm, you will need help from NASA to build a giant wall of fire. Good thing your dad is a former astronaut and can give you access to such weapons. Also, here is an important tip. Sharks in a sharknado can sense human emotions, especially love. If you like anyone, a shark will probably eat them right in front of you. So try not to like anybody, alright? Anyway, back to the fire wall. In order to launch it, you must be in space. However be warned that the sharks can also survive the vacuum of space, and will try to eat you. A normal chainsaw is not enough for this, so carry a lightsaber chainsaw with you. But if you or one of your companions does get swallowed by a space shark, the shark is the perfect drop-pod for landing back on Earth, as it can survive re-entry, even as your wife is giving birth inside the shark. Again, do not question the powers of the great Sharknado shark. It can do whatever it wants, when it wants.

Ok, recruits. This may be your final test, and oh boy. It's a doozy alright. Even though we now have a company that stops these sharknadoes from happening, I would still be on your toes. Because after five years, the sharknado will invent forms, such as the sand form, the boulder form, the oil form, the fire form, the lightning form, and the dreaded nuclear form. The worst part about them is that they can appear anywhere, even in Las Vegas. Even though you are a hero, people are still going to blame you for these stoms. And make tons of references to popular movies, especially in the sci-fi genre. I'm guessing you want the solution to these sharknadoes, yes? Well, it's very complicated, so this may take a while. First, you'll want to obtain permission from the company to act upon their behalf. I also suggest getting a mech suit that as barely been tested but still has your signature chainsaw weapon. Also, your supposedly-dead wife has been transformed into a Terminator with a multi-weapon hand by her father, so now you got somebody to cover you. Oops, I forgot to mention that she kinda was on life support for a while after she got hit by falling debris, then you pulled the plug since she wasn't gonna recover. Oh also, she thought you and your whole family was dead as well. Awkward. Anyway, lets get back to the sharks. After the tornado part has been dealt with by the head of the storm-control company using some kind of sciency-stuff that I can't remember, you have to deal with the radioactive killer fish that are falling from the sky. A lot of your team has already been swallowed up, and your mech suit is malfunctioning, so you gotta do whatever it takes to kill those sharks. But don't worry if you get swallowed by multiple sharks and then a whale. Did I mention that sharks aren't the only things that can be in a sharknado, like whales and spiders? Anyways, don't worry, as your five-year-old son has a working mini-chainsaw that he can use to cut you and your team out of multiple sharks' stomachs. And if your heart is stopped, your Terminator wife will just use two small sharks and a car battery as a defibrillator. I can't make this up. But be prepared, as the sharknadoes might be expanding their territory far beyond the United States.

Well, this just might be my longest blog ever. It took forever to write, but I still enjoyed it, and I hope you did too. Be sure to leave a comment saying your thoughts on the Sharknado series and tell me what you want to see next. But until then, I'll see you next time and have a wonderful day!