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Unwanted Endings/Red Death
by ~TheMoralMachineToday was the day I was certain I'd die. I would die in this heartless city, this merciless building, this maniacal compound. I stood in the bustling, industrial building. Everyone was in a panic. I had nearly overdosed on Xanax this morning, but I was still thankful that today was not the women's selection. They couldn't hurt Karen. Not for Another six months, at least.
I looked up at the clock at 6:55. They handed out our papers at six. Special, supposedly counterfeit-proof paper. Paper to control our fates. It's sick, like a game to them almost. Rounding us up, just to kill us based on their damn special paper. Blank paper meant life. Red-Dot paper meant death. Shaking with anxiety, I waited the last five minutes on the public bench near the reinforced window. There would be no escape that way. People have tried though, all of them suffered sever concussions.
6:00. The speakers buzzed. Loud and clear. "Gentleman, please line up to recieve your paper." The voice was monotone, remorseless knowing that one of the six-thousand gathered at the complex would die. A moan of dissent spread across the room before the voice spoke again. "Know that we are sorry for having to do this, but with the overpopulation, this was the only sensible choice." Sensible? No. Sensible would have been joining the Japanese into space back in '63. The U.S. wouldn't have that though, said they'd find a solution. Kudos to them on their great idea.
I reluctantly made my way over there, pushing past the 200 other men in this room. Since the Red-Dots aren't spread evenly through, it was possible we wouldn't have any in here. Wishful thinking, I knew, but it's what kept me from going mad. That, and Karen. I loved her, and made a vow to protect her. Because of the harsh child-birthing regulations, she and I lived alone. We had never been successful at getting approved for a child. We made the best of it, though, and kept hoping that, one day we would be approved.
As I made my way over there, I couldn't get her out of my head. That's what finally broke me down to tears like most of the other men in the room, knowing I might leave her alone. I pulled myself together though, just as I reached the "oracle". The machine that handed out the paper to tell our fates. I got the reference, but was hardly amused.
I stepped forward, looking directly into the iris scanner. A bright flash stunned me a moment, before the machine confirmed this was my first issuance of paper. Thick, opaque, folded paper fell into the chute at its side. I suppose they didn't want to ruin the "surprise" for us by giving any possibility of us seeing a dot before we opened it. I slid it open, and grabbed the paper, slipping it in my shirt pocket before buttoning it. No paper meant automatic death, so there was no way in hell I'd lose it. At the same time, I was reluctant to open it.
Someone came up behind me, tapping my shoulder. "Hey Brian," it was my brother, Ian, speaking in a calm, melancholy voice. He was usually a cheerful person, but today was definitely not a day for such things. "You wanna go open our papers together?"
"I... Yeah, sure..." I wasn't exactly in a sociable mood, thinking back on my fears of leaving Karen, but I could really use some company at the same time.
"Thanks." he replied, but he was always the strong one. He knew it was more him helping me than anything else.
We walked all the way to the tables that sat adjacent to the windows. I sat just staring out there for a few minutes, while he just observed everyone around him. It was so nice, so beautiful out. The sun was shining brightly through the clouds, defying their attempts to suffocate it. He noticed me staring out, and joined me.
"A beautiful day to die, eh?" He managed a faint smile. He was always trying to help lighten the mood.
I laughed the best I could, but it was pointless. I had a nagging feeling today would not be beautiful by any means. The sun's cruel that way, giving false hope.
"Look," I said, "let's just get this over with. Don't you think we should? "
"Aye, I suppose." He replied, sadness in his eyes.
Palms sweating, I reached for the paper. I set it on the table, and stared for a while. It stare back, embittering me, taunting me, looking down on me. It controlled my fate, and it knew it.
"Come on little brother, open it. We'll both open it at the same time, ok?"
And somehow, like usual, he helped me overcome fear. He was always doing stuff like that for me. It made me sad, knowing I needed his help, but I was glad to have such a great brother. So, although wrapped in both sweat and fear, I was able to break the crimson tape seal and unfold the paper. It was... blank.
I thanked the God I stopped believing in after my father was "sacrificed for humanities greater good", and considered his existence for just another moment. Everything slowed down around me as I made plans to take Karen on the biggest, most luxurious date I could afford. Warmth ran through my body. I was high. I was flying. I was floating on cloud nine.
I was shot out of the sky by two measly words, though.
"Red-Dot." Ian's voice.
"What?" I said, falling rapidly. The grin fell from my face.
"Red-Dot, Brian, Red-Dot." He showed me his paper. Red-Dot. No other words could describe the horror better than those. Red-Dot. No crueler words have ever been spoken.
I couldn't let him die. He was my brother. No... He was more than that, he was my friend, my mentor. He singlehandedly helped me through more than any other person alive. It didn't matter if I died, I felt like I already had. First dad, now Ian. God was real, and he hated me. "Ian I-"
"No, Brian, let me speak." He spoke with a newfound comanding tone. " I couldn't find the strength to tell you earlier, but now that I'm good as dead, I don't see any reason not to."
"What Ian?"
"Brian, I... Love... Karen..." Those words... Those words I couldn't believe. Those words I knew were true in spite of it. Those words that scared me.
"You...LOVE Karen?" I asked, hoping I had misinterpreted him. I hadn't though, and I knew it.
I wasn't mad at him. I couldn't be, he couldn't help how he felt. I was worried though. If I traded papers with him... There was no certainty he wouldn't end up with Karen. In fact, their wedding played in my head. He was charming, nice, and smart. It was probable they'd end up together. It was more than probable, even. I knew I had to say goodbye to either Ian, or Karen. I still held some small hope in an afterlife. It was one of my foolish fantasies, one where Karen and I spent our days on the beach, with the children we'd finally been approved for. Now I had to realize the choice I made could make this completely impossible.
"Ian, I... I wanted to give you my paper, but then you sprung that on me. Why did you have to tell me that? I know it's selfish, but I... I... I can't... Why?"
"I couldn't die with that on my shoulders. I'm sorry... Keep your ticket..."
"Ian... You've helped through SO much, and now I can't... DAMMIT! I'm so selfish! I-" My voice trailed off into sobs... How could I be so greedy? I was a monster.
We sat and talked, Ian somehow holding his head up. We reminisced about our lives, about dad, about our annual trips to Lake Calhoun, and our private little fishing competitions. We talked and talked for hours, somehow managing to brighten the conversation. That's the thing about Ian, he never became bitter. Not at anyone.
We were reliving the time we drove halfway across the country, all for the sake of adventure, when the bell rang. The "death bell", as it was called. The bell rang when it was time for the Red-Dots would be gathered, and lead to the firing squads.
Ian stood, sorrow subtly breaking through the cheerful look he forced into his eyes. "Come here and hug me, little brother." There was no bitterness in his voice. "And hey, keep no regrets. I understand your decision. It's not selfish."
"Thanks Ian, it means a lot." I replied, teary-eyed. It was then that I knew what I had to do. Karen deserved someone selfless like him. While I'm not saying he was the BETTER choice, I knew he could make her happy, and, deep down, I knew I couldn't live with the guilt if I let Ian die. "Ian, take my paper, I mean it."
"No, brother, I can't do you wrong by taking it. My fate is in the next room, yours is not."
I knew it was no use to argue, so I just gave him his hug. I slipped my paper in his back pocket, and broke off from the hug, grabbing his from his hand in two consecutive motions.
"Take care of Karen, and tell her I love her." and I was off. He may have been the stronger of us, but I was faster.
"Brian!" He shouted.
"No big deal!" I replied. "Also, name your first kid after dad! Goodbye Ian, I love you!"
And I ran through the door, to my fate.
| Credit | I MADE IT MYSELF |
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