1

How to overcome a fear?

Vocashiny's Avatar Vocashiny10/1/14 4:14 pm
10/2/2014 5:51 pm
bell1020's Avatar bell1020
So I have a severe fear of waves and swinging motions, and frankly I am absolutely sick of it. It's affecting my home life, my school life and I've actually considered pretending I'm ill to get out of history as we're watching a film about the navy. Basically I am afraid of oceans, swings (not so much now, but still there) and other things along those lines. And when I say afraid, I mean afraid. Even if I start to think about them I get a panic attack, start shaking and find it hard to breathe. Because I'm one of those people that like to analyse themselves (yeah, in know xD), I've figured out the reason I'm scared is that:

A) I always like to be in control of my movements. I'm also incredibly seasick.
B) I hate the idea of repeating an action for eternity.
C) I don't want others to suffer. In this case, the 'others' are inanimate objects.

I know this fear is extremely irrational, and I'm usually a really rational, smart person, but I just can't stop it. I had therapy a while ago and it went away for a bit, although now it's back with a vengeance
Does anyone know any ways to help me get rid of my fears? I'm too scared to face it...
Thanks!
Posted by Vocashiny's Avatar
Vocashiny
Level 20 : Expert Cake
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1
10/02/2014 5:51 pm
Level 11 : Journeyman Mage
bell1020
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10Andrew


Just remember to take a life jacket because I don't want to be responsible for you dying a slow death.


........Wow
That obviously made this less worrying,Gulp.
1
10/02/2014 5:35 pm
Level 50 : Grandmaster Cowboy
Star
Star's Avatar
I really have no idea what to say in specific that will help you, (I've been trying to get over severe acrophobia myself for quite a while now, aha) but I guess that you should just expose yourself to it little by little! Look up still pictures or audio of waves, and just keep looking/listening to them daily for a few weeks or so. Keep working up to the point where you're comfortable with watching videos of waves, and later on, you might be able to actually expose yourself to waves without experiencing as much fear. I hope that helps, and good luck!
1
10/02/2014 4:56 pm
Level 14 : Journeyman Pokemon
LooseViper
LooseViper's Avatar
Head to the nearest wave pool (The waves are not huge like the beach there) and take a swim with your friends if you would like
1
10/02/2014 1:17 pm
Level 1 : New Miner
Mr_Monk234
Mr_Monk234's Avatar
I have never met another person who analyzes themselves. I thought I was one of the only ones who did that.
1
10/02/2014 3:56 pm
Level 33 : Artisan Dragon
The_Big_Dish
The_Big_Dish's Avatar
almost everyone analyzes themselves...
1
10/02/2014 12:56 pm
Level 14 : Journeyman Dragonborn
Floppypancake31
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I watched Death Note a while ago, and I get overly terrified of 'creepy' stuff. So I saw Ruyk and died a little (heh, get it? shinigami, died a little? no? okay :L). And as the series went on, I became less and less creeped out at Ryuk. So if you spend a lot of time around the ocean or swings, then it should make your more comfortable around stuff like that.

I understand that this is a dumb comparison, but I'm pretty sure someone mentioned this earlier. Hope I helped C: (And didn't make you have a heart attack or something [haha, Death Note, heart attacks])
1
10/02/2014 11:30 am
Level 35 : Artisan Ninja
DatFox
DatFox's Avatar
Fallen_Shiny
FCCAGutYou must understand yourself. Learn all you can about the kinds of waves and swings you're afraid of. Knowledge doesn't seem to help you get over your fears but try to fill in the gaps with guessing at things, why do they exist, why do we need them, etc. I think that could be a reason for your "phobia", you can't comprehend it. You see something in greater detail than most people do and it doesn't match your own understanding of everyday life that puts "normal" in your mind. As a person this wouldn't matter to you so there's no reason to accept it in your eyes, this is okay. We judge life by our own selves, how we want to be expected to do and we never want to exaggerate or we will fail. That could be an answer to someone else and ending there and have the person find the hidden detail in that.

Learn this and understand it and for you I say, "go with the flow". You will find patterns in everyday life. I don't see it as a phobia for you but as your way to communicate with the world around you. One could say that about many, if not all, phobias.


Not to put you into a paradox or anything but my ultimate phobia is not having any phobias. My phobias are what motivates me to do different things in different ways, as well as protecting myself.

Yeah, I see what you mean. It's just the idea of that infinite motion, and myself being stuck in infinity or something along those lines (oh wow my mind is so messed up xD). I'll probably always have that fear. But it's when it starts getting ridiculous that I get annoyed. Like in science, we're learning about how the human body works in detail, and I get scared when the teacher starts talking about your heart beating, or tiny atoms vibrating, or liquid sloshing around in your stomach. Weird, I know.
SonicFan1011Remember that if you're watching it, it's happening to them, not you. Start small and slowly work your way up in terms of how much swinging.

Though I do refuse to look at spiders on a daily basis.

I find spiders kind of awesome. But that's only if they're at least half a metre in distance away from me and they are no bigger than a 50p coin. Any closer and I'll show it to my cats
Dragons of the Voidi have a fear of wasps(there's tons of them where i live) and i deal with them by "eliminating" the problem(helps conquer your fear)

Heh heh. Eliminating. >:D


show it to my cats lol, my dog had the crane fly thing ;P
1
10/02/2014 11:21 am
Level 20 : Expert Cake
Vocashiny
Vocashiny's Avatar
NetworkPCETell your parents, you should return to some therapy, it's really important.

I know you don't want to go to therapy, i understand that. I don't want to go to therapy for my extreme fear of crowds, failing someones expections of me, coming late (Even though it's just a few minutes and the teacher doesn't care), talking in public to more than 3 people.

Well yeah, that sums up my issues, i don't want to go to therapy because i don't want my mum or anyone else to know, personally it makes me sound really immature and childish.

Now, you should really go to therapy, it's really important

I just need to see whether I can deal with this myself, wait a while and see if I can distract myself for long enough that it goes away for a bit. If it continues, I'll probably have to force myself to go...
1
10/02/2014 9:24 am
Level 15 : Journeyman Dragon
Dragons of the Void
Dragons of the Void's Avatar
i have a fear of wasps(there's tons of them where i live) and i deal with them by "eliminating" the problem(helps conquer your fear)
1
10/02/2014 8:42 am
Level 48 : Master Baconator
SonicFan1011
SonicFan1011's Avatar
Remember that if you're watching it, it's happening to them, not you. Start small and slowly work your way up in terms of how much swinging.

Though I do refuse to look at spiders on a daily basis.
1
10/02/2014 8:19 am
Level 39 : Artisan Taco
monte carino
monte carino's Avatar
get back on your swing. Swing until it doesn't bother you. Pfff
1
10/02/2014 2:42 am
Level 6 : Apprentice Miner
FCCAGut
FCCAGut's Avatar
You must understand yourself. Learn all you can about the kinds of waves and swings you're afraid of. Knowledge doesn't seem to help you get over your fears but try to fill in the gaps with guessing at things, why do they exist, why do we need them, etc. I think that could be a reason for your "phobia", you can't comprehend it. You see something in greater detail than most people do and it doesn't match your own understanding of everyday life that puts "normal" in your mind. As a person this wouldn't matter to you so there's no reason to accept it in your eyes, this is okay. We judge life by our own selves, how we want to be expected to do and we never want to exaggerate or we will fail. That could be an answer to someone else and ending there and have the person find the hidden detail in that.

Learn this and understand it and for you I say, "go with the flow". You will find patterns in everyday life. I don't see it as a phobia for you but as your way to communicate with the world around you. One could say that about many, if not all, phobias.


Not to put you into a paradox or anything but my ultimate phobia is not having any phobias. My phobias are what motivates me to do different things in different ways, as well as protecting myself.
1
10/02/2014 11:29 am
Level 20 : Expert Cake
Vocashiny
Vocashiny's Avatar
Yeah, I see what you mean. It's just the idea of that infinite motion, and myself being stuck in infinity or something along those lines (oh wow my mind is so messed up xD). I'll probably always have that fear. But it's when it starts getting ridiculous that I get annoyed. Like in science, we're learning about how the human body works in detail, and I get scared when the teacher starts talking about your heart beating, or tiny atoms vibrating, or liquid sloshing around in your stomach. Weird, I know.
SonicFan1011Remember that if you're watching it, it's happening to them, not you. Start small and slowly work your way up in terms of how much swinging.

Though I do refuse to look at spiders on a daily basis.

I find spiders kind of awesome. But that's only if they're at least half a metre in distance away from me and they are no bigger than a 50p coin. Any closer and I'll show it to my cats
Dragons of the Voidi have a fear of wasps(there's tons of them where i live) and i deal with them by "eliminating" the problem(helps conquer your fear)

Heh heh. Eliminating. >:D
1
10/02/2014 2:26 am
Level 21 : Expert Engineer
NetworkPCE
NetworkPCE's Avatar
Tell your parents, you should return to some therapy, it's really important.

I know you don't want to go to therapy, i understand that. I don't want to go to therapy for my extreme fear of crowds, failing someones expections of me, coming late (Even though it's just a few minutes and the teacher doesn't care), talking in public to more than 3 people.

Well yeah, thats sums up my issues, i don't want to go to therapy because i don't want my mum or anyone else to know, personally it makes me sound really immature and childish.

Now, you should really go to therapy, it's really important
1
10/02/2014 1:31 am
Level 19 : Journeyman Goblin
Littleminer14
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SnowyfoxNo need to tell your parents again, as they'll probably try to send you to therapy again.

I'm pretty sure that therapy is one of the best ways for him/her to get rid of this fear for good.
1
10/02/2014 1:16 am
Level 23 : Expert Ninja
ForNarniaMC
ForNarniaMC's Avatar
Take a deep breath when you get a panic attack. Tell your parents or a trusted adult how tou feel. To start simple, look at tiny waves in a cup. If you get scared, dont worry! Be calm and slowly overcome your fear.
1
10/02/2014 1:06 am
Level 9 : Apprentice Artist
Digin4Ever
Digin4Ever's Avatar
I have a fear of insects, caves and holes. yes holes it's more of a hate but they tend to make me run and puke the fear of holes have a connection with trypophobia (google it) which just typing and the thought of it has brought up goosebumps everywhere on my body. I told my mum and teacher. My teacher has been a big help for me she does often check if I feel okay when there are holes involved with anything. Tell anyone who may need to know. Parents Caregivers Teachers Doctors School Nurses.

Back to the hole thing it's more of smaller holes, like the ones that appear when you google trypophobia, but the biggest holes that make me feel sick are the ones on crocs the shoes with holes on-top
1
10/02/2014 11:18 am
Level 20 : Expert Cake
Vocashiny
Vocashiny's Avatar
Oh, I feel so bad for you now... It's just the fact that I've had this before, told everyone, the things sorted out and apparently 'gone'. Now I have to go and tell all of them again, and I'm afraid everyone will think I've gone crazy again.
1
10/02/2014 1:06 am
Level 32 : Artisan Toast
_Hellcat_
_Hellcat_'s Avatar
Just figure out what it is about swings and waves you're actually scared of.
1
10/01/2014 7:05 pm
Level 19 : Journeyman Goblin
Littleminer14
Littleminer14's Avatar
Tell your parents, teachers, and doctor. You may be wondering why you should tell your teachers, but the truth is, they need to know, so they can try to avoid doing that kind of stuff in school. Your doctor and parents will be extremely useful in helping you.
1
10/02/2014 12:51 am
Level 26 : Expert Princess
Snowyfox
Snowyfox's Avatar
^^ this. Sort of. No need to tell your parents again, as they'll probably try to send you to therapy again. Doctors might be able to help a bit more. Teachers might know a stuff or two, too, and would be a nice parent-like side.

*EDIT* How long was this phobia around, OP? Did you get it from an incident or something?
1
10/02/2014 11:13 am
Level 20 : Expert Cake
Vocashiny
Vocashiny's Avatar
I've had it for around 6 or 7 years now, but it kind of comes and goes. So for a few years/months I'll be fine, and suddenly it's back again, usually worse.
1
10/01/2014 6:26 pm
Level 43 : Master Spider Rider
SpiderMatty
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Swing a kitten that doesn't care about anything, unless you are scared if cats...
1
10/01/2014 6:19 pm
Level 33 : Artisan Dragon
The_Big_Dish
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Snowyfox
The_Big_Dishbe able to stop at any time you think you are getting too anxious.

err how do you stop a wave lol? There will be a minimum of 1 second of extra suffering. And if you get anxious, you'll probably start frantically trying to stop it, making more waves. lol.

Obviously it won't stop right away but it gives them more control over the situation then like an ocean where the water will never be still. They also could always leave the room or turn away at any point easily.

I am just thinking of a smaller more controllable way for them to recreate that without just being like "just go straight to the water and find some way to deal with it".
1
10/01/2014 6:11 pm
Level 26 : Expert Princess
Snowyfox
Snowyfox's Avatar
The_Big_Dishbe able to stop at any time you think you are getting too anxious.

err how do you stop a wave lol? There will be a minimum of 1 second of extra suffering. And if you get anxious, you'll probably start frantically trying to stop it, making more waves. lol.
1
10/01/2014 5:47 pm
Level 33 : Artisan Dragon
The_Big_Dish
The_Big_Dish's Avatar
gentle and small steps? you can make small waves in a controlled calm environment like a bathtub or a cup of water and be able to stop at any time you think you are getting too anxious. Then maybe slowly work your way up to what feels like would be the next step. Maybe that would be just viewing clips of waves, maybe going to a one of those wave making swimming pools they have at theme parks then working up to be able to deal with the actual ocean/lakes.

You don't need to force yourself to bear through something bu you can try to learn to manage it slowly. Well that is how I deal with my social phobia anyway idk if that translates well to other phobias. XD
1
10/01/2014 5:35 pm
Level 42 : Master Nether Knight
10Andrew
10Andrew's Avatar
Very easy way to fix this. Go on a kayak :/

You maybe thinking "but Andrew, that's the problem" but here is the trick. You, as the person rowing it, will be in complete control of it and will eventually become used to the waves and maybe even calmed by them

Just remember to take a life jacket because I don't want to be responsible for you dying a slow death.

Hope this helped
1
10/01/2014 5:40 pm
Level 27 : Expert Artist
Vyxept
Vyxept's Avatar
Was the last part necessary? xD
1
10/01/2014 5:41 pm
Level 42 : Master Nether Knight
10Andrew
10Andrew's Avatar
I see now how that may have been a little "insensitive"...
1
10/01/2014 5:13 pm
Level 33 : Artisan Engineer
RoboShadow
RoboShadow's Avatar
Try to associate waves with something good, like what Snowyfox said.
1
10/01/2014 5:01 pm
Level 26 : Expert Princess
Snowyfox
Snowyfox's Avatar
That's quite a broad and strong phobia. You should check out the medical field again. Waves are everywhere.

Usually, people say exposing yourself to the fear generally reduces your fear. Ghost hunters aren't scared of noises after a while, and instead immediately start charging towards them. People who are scared of spiders won't be as scared if they start holding spiders once every day for 365 days (although no one is sure who is responsible to any damage to the person or spider during this time period).

So start starting at waves, and try not to run away. Listen to some funny music on the side if it helps. Start getting used to waves. Eventually you learn to at least ignore it.
1
10/01/2014 4:20 pm
Level 30 : Artisan Dragonborn
funny bunny
funny bunny's Avatar
Just count to 3 and then do it that's what I do. There isn't much I can provide on the subject since I was born and raised in the ocean (figurativaly of course), but what I can tell you is that it's al in your head, and that your fear is irrational and can be overcome.
1
10/02/2014 11:04 am
Level 20 : Expert Cake
Vocashiny
Vocashiny's Avatar
Yeah, I know that it's completely irrational but it's just my natural reaction to it xD
SnowyfoxThat's quite a broad and strong phobia. You should check out the medical field again. Waves are everywhere.

Usually, people say exposing yourself to the fear generally reduces your fear. Ghost hunters aren't scared of noises after a while, and instead immediately start charging towards them. People who are scared of spiders won't be as scared if they start holding spiders once every day for 365 days (although no one is sure who is responsible to any damage to the person or spider during this time period).

So start starting at waves, and try not to run away. Listen to some funny music on the side if it helps. Start getting used to waves. Eventually you learn to at least ignore it.

Oh, thanks! I'll have to try that! Although I did that with my old fear, and this new one seems to have replaced it xD
10AndrewVery easy way to fix this. Go on a kayak :/

You maybe thinking "but Andrew, that's the problem" but here is the trick. You, as the person rowing it, will be in complete control of it and will eventually become used to the waves and maybe even calmed by them

Just remember to take a life jacket because I don't want to be responsible for you dying a slow death.

Hope this helped

I actually went on a kayak last week at an adventure camp. I was COMPLETELY fine with being on a lake. But a while ago I went kayaking on the ocean... After I'd taken ten minutes to calm myself down, I enjoyed it. But it kind of strengthened my fear when I got off as I kept replaying that 10 mins of pain in my head...
LIFEJACKETS SAVE LIVES, PEOPLE.
The_Big_Dishgentle and small steps? you can make small waves in a controlled calm environment like a bathtub or a cup of water and be able to stop at any time you think you are getting too anxious. Then maybe slowly work your way up to what feels like would be the next step. Maybe that would be just viewing clips of waves, maybe going to a one of those wave making swimming pools they have at theme parks then working up to be able to deal with the actual ocean/lakes.

You don't need to force yourself to bear through something bu you can try to learn to manage it slowly. Well that is how I deal with my social phobia anyway idk if that translates well to other phobias. XD

Thanks! I'm generally ok with little waves like that, but sometimes I get freaked out with bathwater and stuff xD
SpiderMatty8Swing a kitten that doesn't care about anything, unless you are scared if cats...

Noooooooooo! Cats r ma fav ting in teh world, that's animal cruelty! xD
Littleminer14Tell your parents, teachers, and doctor. You may be wondering why you should tell your teachers, but the truth is, they need to know, so they can try to avoid doing that kind of stuff in school. Your doctor and parents will be extremely useful in helping you.

I'm too embarrassed to get therapy or anything as I've already had it in the past. D; I also asked my parents but I think my mum is also embarrassed if I go back, because it's a bit like: "Here's my child back, she's had mental issues AGAIN".
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