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anonpmc309540
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Okay, I made a short(ish) poem!
Please leave feedback and/or constructive critisisim. If you have nothing nice to say, DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
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Moonshine:
Moonshine lives in my heart,
The very begining of a pleasant start.
I will walk the race, but still win;
As long as I have moonshine in my lane-so-thin.
Moonshine leaves my heart every night,
But it protects me from all evil in sight.
Moonshine is my life, my hope, my love.
Moonshine flies in, Moonshine is a dove.
Moonshine lives in my heart,
The very begining of a pleasant start.
I will walk the race, but still win;
As long as I have moonshine in my lane-so-thin.
Moonshine leaves my heart every night,
But it protects me from all evil in sight.
Moonshine is my life, my hope, my love.
Moonshine flies in, Moonshine is a dove.
Please leave feedback and/or constructive critisisim. If you have nothing nice to say, DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
I like the theme, but it seems a bit like you're restricted by the need to make the lines rhyme. Don't worry too much about rhyming, not all poems do. Good work though.
~ Seska
~ Seska
Thank you, I really was stuck on the rhymes. c:
Exactly. It can be very difficult, and you can end up straying from your theme or hitting a mental block because you've spent too long trying to make each line rhyme with the next. There are sites on the Web that can help you find words that rhyme, for example, try http://www.rhymes.net/, that will help, but don't let that hold you back, and don't just choose random rhyming words, because if they aren't related to the rest of your piece, your work can end up not making sense, and you don't want that.
That's good. Nobody is born as a great writer. Some have natural talent, but most will have to work a hell of a lot to get better, and you have a good attitude and take pride in your work, which is why I think you'll go far with writing if you choose to stick with it. So don't give up on it.
Thanks a lot ShanePurePickaxe2, I never received really good feedback when I first started off writing, so I try to make up for that by helping other writers get the help they deserve. A lot of people are selfish to be honest, but my way of thinking is: If I have some helpful knowledge and skills, why not help others get the same.
Yeah, sharing is caring, haha.
~ Seska
kenworld1
Ya I'm not that much of a writer, but when I write anything, I try to write it as well as possible.
^^^Kenny^^^
That's good. Nobody is born as a great writer. Some have natural talent, but most will have to work a hell of a lot to get better, and you have a good attitude and take pride in your work, which is why I think you'll go far with writing if you choose to stick with it. So don't give up on it.
ShanePurePickaxe2
You truly are the best for feedback. At least that i know of. You wrote like 2 paragraphs on how i could improve on the war writing test of skill i wrote
Thanks a lot ShanePurePickaxe2, I never received really good feedback when I first started off writing, so I try to make up for that by helping other writers get the help they deserve. A lot of people are selfish to be honest, but my way of thinking is: If I have some helpful knowledge and skills, why not help others get the same.
Yeah, sharing is caring, haha.
~ Seska
