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smolleo
September 19, 2023, 9:51 pm to Public
wow i am college

anyways probably gonna update my profile one day
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Ravacodo said 2023-09-19 22:41:49

hello fellow colleger
what are you studying?
smolleo
April 14, 2023, 7:17 pm to Public
i am an adult who does adult things
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smolleo
January 24, 2023, 5:45 pm to Public
guys i am almost an adult
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smolleo
November 13, 2021, 5:18 pm to Public
forgot about this again :')
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smolleo
May 31, 2021, 3:01 pm to Public
wow i forgot about this sorry
just kind of an update on my life and what's goin on with me ig

- i got a job! it starts tomorrow, i'm working as a camp counselor for the summer.

- i'm 16 now. idk if i mentioned that.

- i've been a lot better mentally but it's still a journey to where i want to be.

- i'm really into my hero academia now

- i have a boyfriend!!! he's the best ever and I love him

so yeah
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smolleo
February 18, 2021, 11:08 am to Public
yeah so my last wall post was a lie
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smolleo
January 28, 2021, 11:17 am to Public
i am tired but i will be trying to make a skin soon
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smolleo
January 8, 2021, 12:38 pm to Public
animal crossing is amazing holy heck
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smolleo
December 19, 2020, 2:01 pm to Public
i simp for venti from genshin impact
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smolleo
November 23, 2020, 11:15 pm to Public
i am a simp for amber from genshin impact
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My death is near said 2020-11-23 23:51:52

Why

My death is near said 2020-11-23 23:51:42

Whay is being a simp good
smolleo
November 18, 2020, 8:37 pm to Public
is it just me or is 2020 just going back to the same way it was in march
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smolleo replied to diving boardz's comment below 2020-11-19 10:19:00

ok good glad i'm not the only one

diving boardz said 2020-11-18 23:37:32

It's not just you.
smolleo shared Kirigiri's post
October 26, 2020, 10:49 pm with Public
this, i have depression/anxiety and i hate how people make it some "uwu soft" thing. it's absolute hell to have even just one of these, and a double whammy is even fucking worse.

Kirigiri
October 25, 2020, 11:05 pm to Public
Prepare yourselves for a mega rant! (please be warned that i will be talking in depth about mental health issues and if this is something you struggle with personally don't feel pressured to read this)

I've been struggling with depression for a long time now, it first became really bad when I was in my first year at sixth form, we no longer had to wear school uniforms and I didn't really dress like the other girls who wore jeans and t-shirts I wore jumpers with pineapples on and I LIVE in skirts because I don't feel confident with how my butt looked in trousers, I got teased and rejected for my appearance, I dyed my hair Harley Quinn colours only for a girl to tell me I looked like a circus freak.

more than once I was ostracised because of my appearance and my personality, I liked musicals and anime and people thought that was weird I made Minecraft skins and people thought I was babyish, people started making up nasty rumours about me, none which I care to repeat. after one incident where a girl saw me leaving the school therapist/ councillors office she told all the girls I sat with in registration and then promptly called me a drama queen and a pathological liar I didn't even say anything, after this particular incident I decided to sit with a girl from one of my classes who enjoyed anime and thought I was funny and clever and wasn't embarrassed to be seen around me, but I got tormented for this too because apparently it's not okay for the weird looking girl to be happy which just for the record if you are unique and you follow your own path ROCK IT be yourself don't be afraid and don't let people make you feel like trash because you don't conform.

I've never been shy about the fact that I've considered and attempted self harm on more than one occasion It's not something I'm proud of and it's definitely not something that should ever be glorified like on thirteen reasons why (that show is trash by the way) then earlier this year my grandfather died, and I found it really hard to recover from, we hadn't been particularly close but at the same time he was my last living grandparent and the memories I did have from when he was alive made me sad that I hadn't had an opportunity to spend more time with him because he lived very far away from me. I inherited a lot of my grandmothers ornaments as well after my grandad died and it makes me sad I couldn't share my love of ornaments and antiques with her when she was alive. I only have the stories people tell me about them and barley any memories of my own.

I find it really hard now to talk about my mental health because the stigma around it is so ridiculous, according to lateralmag.com "Exposure to mental illness starts early for consumers of popular culture, with 25% of characters in G and PG movies having a psychiatric illness and a whopping 50% of kids' TV shows referring to mental illness. In movies, the vast majority of characters with psychiatric illnesses are portrayed as violent or threatening, while in kids' TV shows, most characters with a mental illness tend to have unattractive physical features. They are either villains, or in comic relief roles involving ridiculous, often self-harming, actions like hitting their own head with a hammer. This often triggers other characters to ignore or laugh at them." what sort of a message is this teaching children that it's okay to laugh at the kids who are different or to be afraid of them because one day they might commit crimes? I know so many people with mental illnesses and they are so empathetic and kind and when you need them they are there for you! I am honoured to call these people some of my closest friends and their certainly not evil villains who are going to throw your loved ones off rooves or kick puppies! these villains aren't even written well. people with mental illness can be villainous but so can regular folk
they often aren't villainous because of their condition but because of their childhood or some other trauma, but if you just slap on the mentally ill label it's like the only thing people see but people are more than their mental illnesses hero's villains civilians alike. but even then, trauma doesn't necessarily make you evil or villainous either, it's just different for everyone. plenty of people with trauma or ptsd are lovely people as well.

all that aside people who make mental health some "kawaiii desuu" aesthetic are just as much a part of the problem as people who villainize it, with the influence of pop culture and social media, mental illness is being romanticized and viewed more as a trend than as serious health conditions. having BPD, OCD or Depression is not cute edgy or a personality trait it's something that so many people out there deal with on a daily basis. For an example that both villainizes and romanticizes mental illness, there's a trend in anime where stereotypically cutesy and girlish characters are "psychopathic," obsessed with blood, knives, and killing. People who struggle with mental illness are just trying their best to live their lives as normally as they can, they wish for normalcy. To see these characters be well loved for their "quirky" traits and interests is not helping the stigma around mental health at all. It glorifies the real struggle many people have and can exaggerate it in a way that makes the average person fearful of people with these conditions. It's not cute to be mentally ill, it's not cute to wakeup in the morning and regret that you didn't die in your sleep, it's not funny or clever to use it as an aesthetic and it can even be dangerous when celebrities use mental health and depression as their brand, The growing number of fans claiming to be depressed or anxious in an attempt to emulate their idols poses a grave threat for those truly struggling with mental health to be recognized. there should be more advertising for hotlines and charity's that support mental health and people need to take the time to properly research things instead of suggesting that because someone has a mental health condition they are to be feared and ostracized.

Tldr: It's not cool to have a mental illness it sucks. people with mental illnesses are not villains they are human beings like everyone else. more awareness needs to be spread about mental health and lets face it schools don't really teach anything about mental health other than " DoN't Be DePrEsSeD " which let's be honest here is absolutely moronic advice!

Thank You for getting to the end of this, i know this isn't exactly a light topic but it has been frustrating me of late
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smolleo
October 23, 2020, 10:01 pm to Public
it has been 2 days of ap and i've already wanted to drop it
but nope my parents wont let me

anyways i'm going to try to make an hd skin
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smolleo
October 20, 2020, 4:54 pm to Public
i start an ap class in 2 days and i'm not prepared for it in the slightest
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smolleo
October 15, 2020, 2:52 pm to Public
this is my 300th wall post i think i talk too much

anyways here take a meme
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smolleo
October 13, 2020, 4:33 pm to Public
i love it when my arm muscle has a spasm during a math test
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smolleo
October 8, 2020, 11:24 am to Public
i am stressed
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Aethera said 2020-10-08 11:51:40

I’m sorry.. :( If you want someone to talk to, my DMs are always open. <3
smolleo
September 25, 2020, 8:23 pm to Public
my latest skins haven't been getting as much diamonds and like it doesn't bother me i just noticed
but i guess that's what happens when i go on an unannounced hiatus lmao
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smolleo replied to Fawne's comment below 2020-09-26 11:28:18

hahahaha that's alright! lol

Fawne said 2020-09-25 20:25:40

I SAW THIS POST AND REALIZED THIS WHOLE TIME MY SUBMISSION FEED WAS TURNED OFF
i'm so sorry @ everyone
smolleo
September 19, 2020, 12:08 am to Public
if a bus stop is being taken somewhere on a truck is it really a bus stop
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smolleo
September 17, 2020, 10:55 am to Public
i think my wall posts are where i get to fully unleash my chaotic energy
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