This is Artemis Fowl II, main antihero of the Artemis Fowl series of books by Eoin Colfer.
o Spare me the theatrics, and sit down.o
o But, sir, I am the waiter.o
o You are wearing handmade loafers, a silk shirt, and three gold signet rings. Your English has a tinge of Oxford about it, and your nails have the soft sheen of the recently manicured. You are not a waiter. You are our contact Nguyen Xuan, and you have adopted this pathetic disguise to discreetly check for weaponry.o
o It is true. Amazing.o
o Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make.o
This is Artemis post-book 5. This is why he has one green eye and one hazel.
I will be doing some other Artemis Fowl character skins, so stay tuned, guys. :)