This is one mean Christmas Machine.

Its Christmas eve and Santa walks into the workshop to see all the elves are lying around, root beer in hand doing nothing. Each and everyone of them. Santa goes into an immediate panic. The toys aren't ready! Who will get them ready in time for Christmas Day??!??!?!?!
Santa is ready to throw in the towel when he remembers an old friend who owed him a favor.
He dashes up the stars and quickly dials the telephone.
Its rings twice before a gruff voice on the other end answers with a "Hello?"
"Its me, Santa. I need your help. The elves are being lazy and none of the presents are finished! Please, come over as quickly as possible!" Santa begged.
There was a moment of silence followed by a long sigh. "Alright." the voice answered, "I'll be over soon."
There was a click as the call was disconnected. Santa sat and waited patiently in his chair. 10 minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Santa jumped up and opened it to see his old friend, Smitty. Smitty was a burly figure, with a short red coat, green pants, and black boots. A red and green eye patch covered his milky eye. His raven black hair was buzzed short, as was his mustache. A string of Christmas lights wrapped around his torso.
Santa didn't say a word as Smitty ran in and assessed the situation. He was lightning fast as he created toys out of thin air, wrapping each in beautiful wrapping paper. It was naught but 7 minutes before Smitty finished. After he was done, he walked over to the sleeping elves, and woke them all up by kicking their bums. He spat at them and turned back to Santa
"Anythin' you wants me to do wid em'?" he asked.
"No no, its quite alright. This shall just come out of their paychecks." he replied with a rosy smile. "Thank you Smitty, Christmas wouldn't have been possible without you!"
Smitty gave Santa a half smile before turning to leave. He walked out the door, and the snow seemed to swallow him whole.

ta da


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