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a new world chapter 1 sneak peek

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hibyebyebarny's Avatar hibyebyebarny
Level 2 : Apprentice Explorer
2
Intro: If you are reading this, please send help. I got teleported to this strange world where everything is made up of cubes and squares. It's scaring me. If i'm gonna talk about this world I should probably mention my friend that is in this world with me, Alex she is the only one with me in this harsh world, she can get a little mean to me though. Anyways I need help so if you somehow are reading from another dimension or something come and help me, please.
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1 Update Logs

Update #1 : by hibyebyebarny 09/21/2019 2:45:49 amSep 21st, 2019

Finished the very short chapter 1

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GeekyCatGaming
09/25/2019 11:36 am
Level 7 : Apprentice Architect
GeekyCatGaming's Avatar
Looks Great!!!!
1
hibyebyebarny
09/25/2019 8:00 pm
Level 2 : Apprentice Explorer
hibyebyebarny's Avatar
Thanks!
1
mrdogggo
09/20/2019 7:56 pm
Level 14 : Journeyman Crafter
mrdogggo's Avatar
A great little sneak peek. However, you should split the writing up a bit.

Like this: If you are reading this, please send help. I got teleported to this strange world where everything is made up of cubes and squares. It's scaring me.

  If I'm gonna talk about this world I should probably mention my friend that is in this world with me, Alex she is the only one with me in this harsh world, she can get a little mean to me though.

  Anyways I need help so if you somehow are reading from another dimension or something come and help me, please.

It'll help with the pacing a bit. Idk. I'm not an English professional.
2
hibyebyebarny
09/20/2019 7:59 pm
Level 2 : Apprentice Explorer
hibyebyebarny's Avatar
Thanks for the constructive criticism, it will probably help me alot.
1
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