Carl the Creeper was just strolling along in the badlands near the ol' town of MC'Buckerooneay, when all of the sudden, this skinny, scrawny dude on a horse rode up to him, and went, "Creeper, when is your day going to be over?" Carl replied, "What is a day like a horse's day?" "Well, it's usually pretty boring," the guy said.
Carl the Creeper thinks, "So it is with a creeper's life?" "Well, that depends on where you're at," said the guy. "We get up in the morning, and then we lie around for a little while, and then we eat our breakfast, then we lie around some more, then we take a nap, then we lie around some more, and then we go to bed for the night, and when is your day going to be over?" Carl the Creeper was just strolling along in the badlands near the ol' town of MC'Buckerooneay, when all of the sudden, this skinny, scrawny dude on a horse rode up to him, and went, "Creeper, when is your day going to be over?" Carl replied, "What is a day like a horse's day?" "Well, it's usually pretty boring," the guy said.
Hey kids, time to go to your local Pizza Hut and order a Pizza Slut. The Pizza Slut is pizza, pie, slabs of cheese and ranch dressing with a chunk of bacon on top. Get it? "What the Jesus juice is a Pizza Hut?" asked Carl. "If y'all want Pizza, go to the ol' town of MC'Buckerooneay and head to McPizzaria. They sell the bess-ta pizza pie-er in a thousand kilomiles. "What's so great anyways?" asked the guy.
Carl took the guy to MC'B to the front door of McPizzaria; the guy was astonished by the smell in the air. He stepped inside to see customers fainting, clamoring, paying, and even dying to get another slice of those super-healthy pizzas. He ordered a normal cheese pizza. He sat down and bit into one slice. He fainted.
When he awoke, he was in a hospital of pizza, with all the western doctors with southern accents eating the pizza he ate. They all then flew to a pizza wonderland with pizza pools to snorkel in and all the other stuff. He awoke for reals, and the only word that he would say for the rest of his life was, 'Wow!' "Wow! Wow wow wow wow WOOOOW wow. (Wow! I am just fluttered over the moon with this flavor.)"
Then, the Waiter came up to him and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'll be your Waiter for the rest of the day. Each time you get up, you will see a door at the end of the hall, with a door at the end of the hall. But never go in that room, because that is where the most delicious, most super-delicious Pizza is and you would not want to miss it. "
"Wow! Wow wow wow wow. How can you sell this pizza if it has a door at the end of the hall?" asked Carl. The Waiter, a big boy with huge fingers, put his finger in Carl's mouth and said, "I can tell you all about the Pizza Slut. It tastes just like pizza, only it's a slobber gag." "OK. Sounds about right. I'll just have to taste it, then."
The next morning, when Carl came to, he was in the office of the Waiter, and the Waiter was taking a big bite out of the Pizza Slut and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'll just put in a plug for the Pizza Slut; it tastes just like pizza, except the pizza is a gag." "I see," said Carl. "So what do you do with all the people that you couldn't sell the Pizza Slut to? It's too much for people to handle." "Well, we get them in here and we put them in the room with the door at the end of the hall, where the most super-delicious, most super-delicious pizza is, and you wouldn't want to miss it. We keep the door locked, but we always leave a key under the table so that the little fat women and big guys can get back into the hospital after they've been eaten, so we don't have to put a doctor in. "And, Carl," said the Waiter, "You see that person over there?"
Carl looked up to see what his Waiter wanted. There was a guy looking at him and saying, "So, you never had it, huh?" "Oh, yes sir, I had it. It was the best pizza I ever had, although it looks a little funny." "Oh, no it ain't. It's the biggest fucking pizza I ever had. And, it even had a door. Yeah, a door!" "Yeah, I guess you're right. I never would've expected a door to-" "Where's mah pizza?"
"Right here." Out came the tastiest pizza everrrrrrr. Carl took a bite. "It tastes like an ordinary pizza." "That's because," said the Waiter, "it's for humans." He gave a sample to 3 humans. They were so luxury in the flavor they turned into pizza. And then into pizza mascots. "Hey, that's pretty cool," they both said in sync. The more people who ate their pizza, the more mascot armies and popularity they would have, until their franchise was so huge, it was known all over the Superverse.
"Now what?" asked Carl. "Easy," said the Waiter. "We make them do random stuff, of course."
Welcome to the Pizza Army show! Here are your hosts, Pizza %#91673 and Pizza #9573246120478 - the lovepies. "WWWWWEEEELCOOOOME TOOOO THEEEE PIZZA ARMY SHOOOOOOOWWWW," said Pizza #91673. "It's the time of the pizza, and it's time to do the whatever, pizza," said Pizza #9573246120478. "Get your units in formation, for the noontime roll call."
It was noontime. All units were in formation and marching in precision. "You may now shout and sign the one liner, 'Hi, how are you, pizza?'" said Pizza #9573246120478.
"Hi, pizza," they all answered. Pizza #9573246120478 commanded, "Drop your weapons and disband." The units complied. "What are we going to do now?" asked Pizza #9573246120478. "What are we going to do now, pizza?" asked everyone. And the Waiter ordered the dogs to dogfight.
They threw the best pizza pies ever at each other. The majority of them blew up on contact. When the dogs were done eating, they barked in unison, "Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza!"
The Waiter ordered the penguins to army march. The penguins, who had been trained to obey with precision, answered "Pizza! Pizza!" And, when they were done marching, they ate some pizza.
The Minions were in hot pursuit of the humans. They ran towards them, unrolling frozen pizza. Each Minion stopped in the middle of their rolling attack and asked "What is that, pizza?"
"Oh, it's just dinner," the Waiter told them. "I thought it would look pretty." They all ate the frozen pizza. "It tastes kinda funny," said one Minion. "And it has hair on it." Another Minion looked at the crust. "It's kinda brown."
"Yeah," the Waiter replied, "and it's messy." But when they were done eating the frozen pizza, they were also fat. They marched in unison as one unit. "Hi, how are you, pizza?"
"Hi, how are you, pizza?" the group answered. "Get your units in formation, for the 3 Pizzas Roll Call."
"Heeeey, Pizza," said the creatures that were part human. They were fat and furry and fluffy. "Gee, it's me, pizza," they all said in sync. "It's the time of the pizza, and it's time to do the Pizza-Goodbye." So they had a big war and it ultimately ended in a tie cuz we're all out of ink juice.

TE FIN + MEMES OF THE DAY