This is more of a message to myself than to anyone else. So, why am I posting this for the public? Because I feel this could help someone, just as writing it has helped me.

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  You've been lied to. When you were younger, chances are when you grieved someone was there to drag you out of bed, out of the nightmares you couldn't yet understand. If this wasn't the case for you, know that I am truly sorry, but know that you have the chance to better yourself from it.
  There are some battles you must fight alone. When no one's by your side, be by your own. When the sun dies and flowers rot in your head, become the sun, the water, the soil, everything the flowers need to grow back, stronger than ever before.
  You were lied to more at the tenderest of ages. There was always another chance. I remember, when I and my dad were adopting a dog which we later returned to the original owner (my dad was scared to train it out of its aggressive habits with a young child in the house), we were shown the dog's heartworm medication. The lady showed us one and said it was for him back when he was a puppy. I immediately asked, "When will he be a puppy again?"
  Youth is wasted on those undeserving. In reality, you live once. Whether or not you get a second chance does not matter- you either make a positive or negative impact and that's it. Many of us are saddened by the thought that we will never be able to go back and fix our mistakes, but, in truth, if I could fix my mistakes, I'd never be able to help anyone through their problems.
  There is more I can say, but, if you are happy now, go ahead and leave. I will not say more. If you are more saddened by this, I am sorry. If you feel as though you are wasting your time, leave.
  I have poems. Many of them. I will show you them, only if you wish to see them. Only one for now, however.


  I once recorded a friend of mine lip-syncing to random songs. After I showed her it, she told me to delete it. Why? Her answer to that is that she was happy in the video and the world doesn't want her happy.
  And she's exactly right.
  The world is cruel. There is no land of butterflies and rainbows that we knew when we were younger. Not to say I am no longer young- you're probably older than me. The world doesn't want to see you happy. When you're happy, you're ready to fight to stay that way. Once you're beaten down into obedience, you no longer fight. If the world has beaten you down, rise up. Strike down the world that beat you. What good has that world done for you? STRIKE IT. GET RID OF IT. Get rid of what's detrimental to you with no regards to the difficulties you may face.
  Never again to that old world.
  I'll never give in for long.
  Sometimes, often times, actually, people may wrong you. They'll cut you off then accuse you of doing it to them. They'll raise their voice, yelling, and maybe even make you cry. Anger may feel good. Rage may fuel you at times. However, rage should always be negative in your mind, because once you're enraged, others will become enraged. I felt true anger today-never have I felt so good then immediately afterwards felt so lost. Lost in the red. The burning bright crisp red of retaliation, the deeper maroon of dull yet strong hatred. I avoid these feelings when I can. Today I was struggling, but I've pulled myself out of it,. My fight was asleep, then I dragged it out of bed.