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It's that time again, folks! Minecon: Server Edition 2012 time!
This year, those of us down in the vonDoomCraft slavepits thought it would be a great idea to get in on the Minecrafty fun and excitement!
Unfortunately, as it turns out, "slavepits" are rather difficult to get a vacation from... So instead, we sent everyone's favorite future super soldier!

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Hello ladies, and ladies-with-boy-parts! Fagolomew O'Hara here, reporting Live (after-the-fact) from Minecon: Server Edition twenty-twelve!
I've got to say, despite a few small setbacks to the festivities, the online convention is great fun!


That said, I'm a super soldier from the future, not a damned word-typerer. So instead of doing the long write-up I promised the vDC crew down in the pits, I decided to do a photo-report! Seriously. What are they going to do? Most of them are malnourished and live in cages.


Suck it, vonDoomCraft!























So there you have it! Absolutely everything you could ever want to know about Minecon: Server Edition twenty-twelve.
All in all, I felt the whole affair was a bit of a disappointment. It was great getting to meet as many famous entertainers as I did, but at the end of it I was left feeling empty.

My goodie bag is server-side only, the closest thing I found to a booth babe was a Pigman rockin' a g-string, and I never got to punch Mark Hamill. And at the risk of sounding like a homophobe, I would really be remiss if I didn't give jeers to the security staff in regards to their handling (or lack there of) of all the gay P.D.A.


Sure, two dudes can rub golden apples in front of kids and it's all honky-dory, but you melt one ice sculpture of Master Thief 117 with a torch and you're out on your sweet pink behind!


WHY WAS IT INCLUDED IN THE GOODIE-BAG THEN? HUH?!

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About the Author:

Fagolomew O'Hara was born on a UNSC world under a red sun. [name currently classified]
At a bright young age Fagolomew [apparently a common male name in his star system of origin] succeeded in being the very first of his future classmates to be cloned and abducted by secret UNSC operatives, to begin a career as a government guinea pig/Super Soldier.

Throughout the Covenant War, he lead his team of Spartans, "the Heartbreakers" on covert operations deep within Covenant-held space. In a rare interview with Folomew, he noted that although another Spartan (one he deemed "poncy") got most of the credit for ending the war, it was in fact he and the Heartbreakers who cleared the way for this lone Spartan on nearly ever one of his missions.
To quote Fagolomew himself,

"Honestly, I don't even remember the dude's name... I remember seeing him run around soaking up enemy fire, hopping around like a rabbit, smacking the air and generally running into battle like a child lost in the woods, and all I could think was... Green? A little fruity for battle-attire, you know?"

Having since retired on the condition that he would return, should the UNSC need him; "Faggy" now spends much of his time in his Minecraftia summer home. Doing what he only decribes as "Future Junk and Stuff".


And also the vDC crew were beaten mercilessly.