A few days ago I was thinking about how I could never find a good Minecraft server to play on when my thoughts jumped to 2b2t. Granted it's apparently the worst place on earth (Minecraft-wise), but I was surprised I hadn't given it a shot yet. How hard could it be?
  Ha. Haha. Ha.
  I quickly realized that the hard part was not actually playing on the server, but getting past the ridiculous crash-prone queue that guards the entrance to the Minecraft equivelant of Mordor. One does not simply log into 2b2t. "ok," I said. This is fine. We wait in a queue for a couple hours. No big deal. I have been gifted with the most insane attention span known to man. I can do this. And better yet, we'll have some fun along the way.
  Scatter plots. That was my plan. In order to gain information about what lies ahead, I would predict it using the statistical data gained by sitting in the queue. This way I could estimate how long it would take and better prepare. After all it would only be a few hours.
  How wrong I was...
  According to sources that were somewhat outdated, the queue was not that long, only a couple hours and 600 players. According to real life (so much more accurate) the queue turned out to be at least 10 hours long, ranging from 1,000 to 1,300 players normally. My scatter plot data, when graphed, kept predicting a shallower curve as time went on, which was expected, but the horizontal asymptote was being very discouraging. No biggie. Wait times are no match for my ridiculous attention span. Unfortunately there were more problems.
  According to this nifty site I found, 2b2t.io (yay it has a bunch of graphs), the server restarts every 12 hours or so at seemingly random intervals. They turned out to have a sort of predictable pattern, but not enough to go by. When the wait time is 10 hours or more, it's very hard to enter the queue at exactly the right time so a server restart doesn't get in the way. The queue is very unforgiving during those times. No mercy.
  On my first try, I started in late afternoon, not knowing what I was in for. Two hours later, I accidentally clicked the disconnect button. Not my best moment. I tried again, but being pretty uneducated on the methods and manners of 2b2t queues, I didn't get very far before my self-appointed bedtime got in the way (not to be confused with a much earlier "normal" bedtime that I probably should have used), only about #350 or so. My second try was more calculated, starting in late morning, in preparation for a long wait. Coincidentally, though I didn't realize it at the time, I had joined the queue directly after a restart, during the slow upward climb of the player count. As a result, instead of starting at #1,300, I was already #900. This was my first encounter with the server restart, though it didn't directly affect me as of yet. This boost got me down to about #85 by late evening, but since I had calculated at least another hour or two of wait time, I was not prepared when another server restart happened due to me being away. Kicked out of the queue at #85, I was sure I could do it if everything lined up just right.
  Third try, got up early morning, set up my position in the queue, went back to sleep. I woke up to find that my spot in the queue was non-existant, due to... you guessed it... another server restart. I jumped back in the queue mid-morning, but the damage was already done and there was no spot boost due to the server restart having passed a while ago. This resulted in me getting to about the same spot in the last hundred by late evening. At #55 while I was at my computer (this time), I was able to see firsthand the queue spout the first words all day that didn't correspond to my spot in the queue. "Server restarting in 15 mins." Hope drained from my body. "Server restarting in 10 mins" What could I do. The day's chance was over. "Server restarting in 5 mins." Then I had an idea that just might work. "Server restarting in 15 secs... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1"
  "Everyone has left the game."
  The second I got the error message I raced back to my server list and spammed the refresh button as fast as I could while still being able to see whether I connected or not (it helped that my relative ping for 2b2t was the lowest I've seen for any server I've ever played). A min of clicking later I got the connection, clicked the join button, and hoped for the best.
  I was quickly dumped on a cobblestone lava-cast with no queue in sight.

  TO BE CONTINUED (bc I have a paper to write instead)

  One quick message tho. You too can use these strats to get into 2b2t (pretty sure, but I only have that one datapoint *statisticians crying out in terror*). Just log into the queue (doesn't matter what spot anymore, it's just to get told when the restart happens) and check at least every 15 mins to see when the server is going to restart. You should use 2b2t.io to predict when a server restart will happen so you don't have to wait as long (if one didn't happen recently you'll probably get one (they happen every 12 hours or so)). The min it kicks you and the other people (half of which are probably afk in the queue), spam that refresh button (making sure to wait for the "Pinging..." msg to go away each time you press) and join as soon as it gets back up (about a min or two). With luck, you'll make it in. Just don't go in any portals and do your research so you don't get trapped for good. It's not too bad if you know what you're doing.